Overweight and pregnant rant

[NCPuffin]

I was a size 18 when I got pregnant. I am now much bigger (25+4) than I was pre-pregnancy - I've been in maternity trousers since 16 weeks. However, I have a B bump and to people who don't know I don't obviously look pregnant, just pot-bellied. I'm starting to find the daily comments of people who hadn't realised I am pregnant or assume I am only 12 weeks or so a bit upsetting. I really wasn't this fat 3 months ago, but I feel it would make things awkward if I said that. Not sure what I want from this thread. I think I'm just a bit disappointed that I feel I look noticeably different, but other people seem to think I've gained wait. I never knew being assumed to be fat when you're pregnant stings as much as being assumed to be pregnant when you're fat

Gaah, weight, not wait!

Hi Puffin. I got pregnant at my heaviest weight (around a size 16) and I know exactly how you feel.

I’m trying to buy clothes that emphasise my belly. Mine is a bit of a b shape too, but you can’t tell that as much in a lot of the maternity dresses. I rub my belly a lot too to hopefully drop the hint!

I’m sure as even more weeks progress your belly will round out. My sister’s always did and she was about your size in her last couple of pregnancies.
X

Thanks for your reply. I have two blouses and dress with an empire line, and they do make me look more pregnant. I can only wear one of them at the moment as the other two need altering - I suppose I should get onto that! YY to the bump rubbing - had a letting agent today ask me if I'd have had the baby by January, FFS!

I suppose it doesn't help that I'm still getting nausea, which everyone associates with early pregnancy I wish

Sorry people so rude and judgemental.

Same here lovely! I found that around 5 months it rounded out. I also found that wearing a bump band and/or over bump jeans emphasized the baby part of my belly. Oh and breastfeed! It was seriously the best diet I have ever been on. Tub of Ben and Jerry almost everyday and I was losing about 7lbs a month. Congrats x

Same here. Size 18-20 when I fell pregnant.
Currently, 21 weeks and my belly has only now started to round out. I've not had anyone comment on my pregnancy as I guess I still just look fat!
It's depressing as I was a size 10 when I was pregnant with DS1. I know exactly how you feel. I love round baby belly and am just hoping it rounds out more in the coming weeks. We just need to ignore the negative people, we know whats going on with our bodies and thats all that matters. Good luck x

I hope you get your bump soon.

With regards to some replies, how is it rude/judgemental/negative if it’s simply not visually obvious?

It’s not a risk anyone would take surely... asking a bigger person if they are pregnant if it’s not known..?

But it IS visually obvious! I am much larger than I was! I know I can't expect people to pay attention that closely or run the risk of getting it wrong, but then they shouldn't be making assumptions about how far along I am either! And it is now too late to come up to me with "Puffin, I didn't know you were pregnant!" If I haven't told you by now, that means you're not important enough, so no need to feel bad about not congratulating me either!

Disclaimer: I do have self esteem issues and I realise I am being unreasonable. I blame pregnancy combined with the heat and a classroom full of teenagers!

Have people made comments about you putting on weight? That is so rude if so and I am sorry. Ignore the horrible comments if you can.

However if it's just that people haven't noticed you're pregnant or don't know how far along you are then just try not to take it too personally. People generally don't know what bumps look like at different sizes and everyone carries so differently anyway.

You're at the stage where the baby will grow fast and the bump will round out soon anyway 😊

I live in london and commute so applied for one of those 'baby on board' badges through TFL which i wear all the time rather than just when on the train to clear up any confusion on the fact i just look fat and not pregnant! You could apply for one of those?! You dont have to show any evidence just give your name and address. Or i think you can get them from NCT places. Sorry you are feeling rubbish about it - i know exactly how you feel. x

Thanks for your lovely replies! I suppose I'm finding it difficult because it makes it impossible for me to deny my weight - people are usually too polite to comment on it, and they don't mean to be rude with these comments, it just tells me I am clearly not obviously pregnant, and that is because of my weight. The bump seems to have rounded up overnight, so I've decided I'm now well within my rights to lamp anyone who hadn't realised

Have only had one comment about my weight in general. HR person (!!!!) told me my boobs and bum had grown!

It may be obvious to you but maybe not to others? Especially in work clothes etc. Tbh if you are that obese then people probably have noticed but are too polite to say anything just in case it's just fat

Can I just state that I am a size 8 and am only just showing (the tiniest bit) at 21 weeks! Everyone is different. As long as you know you are pregnant, your baby is healthy and you intend to be a wonderful, caring, lovely mother, who the bloody hell cares! You need to enjoy this magical time without letting other people get you down. My mum tells me 'you only get to be pregnant for 9 months, enjoy it'

Once you get to 35 weeks people will know. I'm sure you look gorgeous OP, the vast majority of pregnant women have a loveliness about them regardless of their size.

All the best and congratulations

Thanks @Cariadxx FFS, I've literally just said I have self-esteem issues regarding my weight and you feel the need to wade in with 'that obese'!!!

@Ohbabynoname you're right. Most of the time I am just happy about it, this is my ranty thread enjoy it my arse though, almost 26 weeks and still feel nauseous every single day, with a bit of vomiting in the classroom thrown in up for good measure!

OP you poor thing! I had morning sickness until 13 weeks. So glad it disappeared! I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly. Feel free to rant at us anytime!

I started to gain belly weight at 20 weeks but didn't get a proper bump til 25 weeks so it genuinely looked like I had just got chubbier! I recommend a belly band- a proper holdy-in, elasticated one (I got mine in Tesco). It shapes and hardens the chub and gives more of a bump shape. Also comes in useful when bump finally appears then triples in size overnight so your back is crying out for extra support!

If it helps at all, I am usually a size 10-12 and people didn't really seem to clock my extra weight as a bump until about 6-7 months gone.

Some people are also grossly unobservant...I am due next week and someone still failed to notice the bump (came up in context of arranging some work so he said he hadn't noticed )

I didn't get a bump until 30 weeks and didn't look noticeably pregnant until around 33/4 . I didn't even tell my colleagues until 25 weeks and no one had guessed.

It may be nothing to do with weight; just the way you're carrying. I'm not overweight and still had the B shape bump at this stage.

Sorry you haven’t had the comments you would like. Personally I would never ever ask a woman if she was pregnant (even obviously so) as I have been asked before when I wasn’t even pregnant and found it very upsetting and hurtful. People are just being polite by not commenting I think 😊

I'm a big girl. Pre pregnancy size 22 although I've lost two stone since being pregnant so guess I'm about a size 18-20 now. Still have massive boobs though. I was ogling pregnant bellies around my gestation on Google last night and they all looked so cute. I just look fat. I don't notice that I have any kind of baby bump as I have an overhang from my other two pregnancies. I'm paranoid I'm just going to be a giant blob at the end of this pregnancy!

Tbh it's not just larger women who have room deal with this. I'm usually a size 8-10 and I wasn't properly 'showing' until a couple of weeks ago, but I was noticeably larger overall, and colleagues apparently thought I was getting fat! One colleague actually told me this once she discovered I was in fact pregnant! I didn't care that much but it was a bit embarrassing. ..

To be honest, I’ve always found the comments towards slim girls worse than bigger ones. There’s a rule that you don’t take the piss out of fat girls because they’ll be upset by it (and rightfully so).
Skinny girls however are fair game! You can say that you’ve seen more meat on a vegetarians toothpick out loud no bother, you can say ‘you are soooo skinny!!’ as much as you like, apparently it’s a compliment 🙄🤷🏻‍♀️

I was working in an office as a teenager, I was a size 4 due to stress and anxiety, putting weight on wasn’t possible, I was very self conscious and aware I resembled a 12 year old boy. The big girl in the office thought nothing of saying loudly ‘god, you’re so skinny you make me sick!’ she said it with a smile so it must have been ok.. 🤔

I’m a bit bored of bigger people having the monopoly of being offended on the weight issue to be fair.

Green I would never comment on a slim person's looks! Those comments are horrible!!! I was always taught you don't comment on what/ how much someone eats and on their weight. It would save a lot of hurt all around if everyone stuck with that!

Just to clarify: I'm not expecting people to guess, but I hate it when people come up to me now saying they hadn't realised, or assuming I'm much earlier on, because it undeniably means I must just look fat