Dumbest things your DHs/DPs have said/done during pregnancy

[PirateWeasel]

I can laugh about these now, but honestly...why do men think it's acceptable to poke the bear while we're up to our ears in raging baby hormones? facepalm Do they have a death wish or something??

My DH's latest offerings:

• "I hope the baby doesn't get your hairy feet"
• "I didn't realise your bottom got bigger as well"
• "We should do up the spare room in case your snoring gets worse, so I can go and sleep out there when I need to"

Not to mention many variations on "I'm so tired. While you're up make me a sandwich, will you?"

Go on, please tell me I'm not alone before I render him unconscious. Again.

Told him baby was coming now, he looked and said there wasn't a head there so I should get up so we could go somewhere more comfortable (was on my knees in the bathroom). This repeated a few more times with him not believing me until he could see the head, swore and ended up delivering dc2.

4 months into our planned pregnancy: "I don't think I can do this."

During labour my DH suggested to my best friend (and other birth partner) that maybe he should go home as it was taking a long time and he was very tired...

'I've told you...be careful how much you're feeding that baby!'

Granted, out of context that makes him sound like a massive arse, but he says it all the time to tease me and try to make me laugh when I'm having a panic about giving birth to an 11 pound monster-child with a head the size of a pumpkin (DH has a head the size of a pumpkin...)

Oh, I also had the following when my waters broke. I was cooking bacon at the time ready for our Sunday morning sandwiches. I was well over 39 weeks so birth was not unexpected.

Me: feels waters go, goes to loo, checks I haven't just wet myself and on deciding it is waters calls DH to tell him.
DH: 'Oh my god, the baby is coming now. Shit. Do we still have time for our bacon sandwiches?'

We did have plenty of time for our bacon sandwiches. DD was not born for a further three days

I no longer know whether to laugh or cry at these! We deserve a flipping medal! @UtterlyRainbowed, that paracetamol thing is EXACTLY what my DH would say. I swear if he does I'll deck him!