My parents

[CathyandHeathcliff]

I'm getting really upset. I've gone to visit my parents and stay with them, I'm currently 19 weeks pregnant. They've always been very controlling with what I eat. It's very tiresome. Anyway, it's been like this for years and because I've put on weight since I was a teenager, they think they can control everything I eat. It's ludicrous. I'll admit I've put weight on but it's my choice as an adult to make the decisions about what I eat.
I came back to visit them this weekend and I thought things would be different now I'm pregnant, but whenever I've said I want this or I want that because I'm hungry or I'm having a craving, they say "you're not having that" like I'm a child 🙄 I'm literally sitting here quite hungry, because I'm not 'allowed' to eat. I have to wait set meal times.
Last night I ate a magnum ice cream and my mum started lecturing me on it and was nearly in tears! How pathetic!
I've done some research and I'm starting to think some of their traits are those of toxic parents. Controlling me but under the guise of "We want what's best for you" or "We're just worried about you"
I don't know what to do, I want them around when the baby comes as I'll need support but I'm not sure I can cope with this much longer...

@babies She isn't going to lose her baby by eating a magnum. Get a grip.

Sorry they're like that with you OP sounds very frustrating. Can you go out? I'm pregnant and when I need to eat, I need to eat! How long are you there for?

I'd be worried about what they'd be like with a) criticising my parenting and b) controlling my kids.

Chin up!

Go home! Say you're not feeling well and get gone.

A baby won’t be harmed by his/her mother eating an ice cream during pregnancy. At no stage does the OP say the food she is eating or craving is unhealthy. It’s completely wrong of you to imply that the OP could lose her baby and be at fault as a result of what she has written.

I would say that you need to ensure that your parents realise you are an adult and treat you as one, because otherwise you’ll run the risk of them undermining you in bringing up your child/ren.

Yes, eating healthily and keeping to a sensible weight is important at all times in our life but everything in moderation (unless you have a particular health issue) is fine.

We'll I made it through the first 3 months surviving on toast, waffles and the occasional chicken dipper due to hyperemesis. I have since eaten ice cream, chocolate, chips, burgers, pizza etc and I've made it to 36 weeks and baby is fine. One magnum ice cream isn't crack cocaine is it? I would just leave OP, it sounds horrible. I don't see how you being hungry is in anyway healthier than you having the occasional unhealthy snack.

Not surprising you’re comfort eating with parents like that.

@BabiesDontNeedDaddies you sound like a complete idiot

@CathyandHeathcliff take your own snacks and eat them, That's bloody awful for you! If someone told me I couldn't eat what I wanted in pregnancy I would probably have a break down!

I would seriously consider how much involvement you want them to have as your child grows up, they definitely sound toxic & I would worry about their behaviour affecting your DC.

You are lucky you don't have issues with eating/food growing up with them, your child may not be so lucky

I ate almost nothing BUT ice cream during my pregnancy! And DS has turned out fine, although he does like a bit of chocolate

Becoming a mother myself gave me the confidence to break free of my own. Without wishing to sound harsh, it sounds like it's time to start standing on your own two feet, OP. Good luck with your pregnancy!

In an ideal pregnancy we would all eatslots of fruit and veg and no junk food.

How many women have an ideal pregnancy?? Not me for one!

I take pregnancy vitamins and do the best I can with food, and my best of pretty poor!

Eating unhealthily when you're pregnant effects the baby. They probably don't want you to lose the baby or something to happen.

Firstly that's utter bollocks (baby gets the right nutrients from your stores whatever you eat, unless you are severely deficient in something). Secondly nobody has the right to control an adult's eating this way. No one.

Also, the OP doesn't have gestational diabetes, and it isn't caused by eating sugar. It's caused by the hormonal effects of pregnancy.

You have some pretty fucked up views, babiesdontneed

I'm not being homophobic, but your name is goady and you know it. By the same token babies don't need mothers either. You've come on here to a woman who is clearly already upset and wanting support, and essentially told her she might lose her baby and it would be her fault. What is wrong with you?

I offered a reasonable explanation and a practical solution. If my username makes you uncomfortable then good, homophobes need to face their fear and get over it.

I grew a baby almost entirely on Cadburys Mini Eggs. If someone had suggested I'd hace been better off with a pepper or a carrot, they'd have had to go to hospital to have it surgically removed. Vote with your swollen feet, and hotfoot it out of there. Get yourself a KFC on the way home. You're an adult. Congrats and good luck with the rest of your pregnancy xx

BabiesDontNeedDaddies a magnum is not going to cause gestational diabetes. It is not self inflicted.
I am 9 weeks pregnant and would love to snack on a tomato. However severe morning sickness has meant I can’t stomach anything except toast and cereal.

@BabiesDontNeedDaddies a reasonable explanation?. You think someone having a magnum is going to cause them to have GB and that due to that babies die?

Funny that, I've eaten an icecream, a doughnut... and more every single day of my pregnancy and STRANGELY don't have GB. Have had not one complication in my pregnancy at all and am due in a week. Your name is ridiculous. You are ridiculous. Just another typical poster wanting a reaction with views that have no meaning or offer no help to the person seeking advice.

Nobody ever said that. Stop being dramatic.

@BabiesDontNeedDaddies no one was homophobic, your name is ridiculous lol

Gestational diabetes is caused by hormones released by the placenta. It is dangerous to claim that a mothers diet could cause it. If eating unhealthily cause babies to die, then there would be a lot more miscarriages. Obviously you have never had severe morning sickness or a difficult pregnancy if you honestly think it's as simple as eating a carrot. I spent about 2 weeks craving ice cream and yogurts and I don't even like milk products normally, pregnancy isn't simple and women shouldn't be vilified for doing whatever they can to get through it.