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Original poster

Is it normal to not like other people's kids?

73 replies

Dollydaydream97 · 22/05/2018 22:46

I understand how horrible that sounds I really do and call me a bitch I don't care! Maybe it's my hormones and being heavily pregnant by I just can't stand other people's kids at all apart from family and even then it's at a push ! I hope this don't mean I'm going to be a terrible mum! Like I wouldn't be horrible to a child or anything but I won't go out of my way to be around them if that makes sence but I do love children also🤷🏻‍♀️For example my partner wants me to go to the beach on Monday with him and his friends by because all their kids are going I've said no thankyou ? Will this pass?

OP posts:

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Kittysparks1 · 23/05/2018 06:02

I am so confused. Why would you choose to have kids if you didn't like kids? I didn't know it was so common.
I love kids. Always have. They naturally gravitate to me and I find them so much fun. Literally kids are up for anything. And I have not outgrown playing by a long run!
Now I have my own, he still a baby (boring) but he is turning into a kid and it's becoming fun.

I don't like cats. I wonder if the same theory applies and I'd like it if it was mine.

Momo18 · 23/05/2018 06:11

You wouldn't be expected to love everyone else's parents would you? So why there kids?

Eminybob · 23/05/2018 06:15

I adore ds, enough that we are having another, and although I don’t actively dislike other people’s children (apart from 1 or 2) I’m a bit meh about them.
I don’t really like holding other people’s babies (but could spend hours snuggling ds when he was one).

But I’ve never really been a maternal sort of person, I didn’t start a family until mid 30’s because I really didn’t think I wanted kids, but that biological clock has a lot to answer for and the urge took hold. I’m so bloody glad I listened to it as having my own family is the best thing I’ve ever done, but it certainly wasn’t because of a love of children in general.

feral · 23/05/2018 06:18

I'm the same.

There are a couple of my son's friends that I like as I've known them since babies but the rest are vile.

I sometimes do reciprocal childcare with a neighbour and I dread it as I really don't like her child!

FreshHorizons · 23/05/2018 06:22

Children are people and some you like and some you don't. It sounds as if you just see them as a group and not as individuals.
When you get your own child you will understand the value of getting together with other families. No need at the moment.

Glassofredandapackofcrisps · 23/05/2018 06:22

Yes I absolutely adore my little girl and can also appreciate the cuteness of other kids but for the most part I can't really tolerate other kids.
I would never upset another child or be nasty to them(asking

ijustwannadance · 23/05/2018 06:23

It's fine op and their will be days when you can't stand your own kids! Parenting isn't all fluffy playdates and rainbows.

It's utter bollocks that if you don't like being around other people's kids you will be a rubbish parent etc etc. That's like saying you can't not like all other adults because you are one.

Why should you have to go out for the day with people just because they are taking their kids? I'd rather enjoy some peace and quiet.

Glassofredandapackofcrisps · 23/05/2018 06:24

Sorry hit post to soon!
But I just feel a bit awkward with them I have no interest in them and I feel it's a big effort to communicate iyswim???

ijustwannadance · 23/05/2018 06:27

When you get your own child you will understand the value of getting together with other families

Yep, so the kids can sod off and play so you can have a break and talk to other adults

FreshHorizons · 23/05/2018 06:32

Exactly ijustwannadance! They will amuse themselves - without them you will be chief entertainer.
Also any parent needs a support network - someone who will take your child to school if you are ill etc and this means reciprocating.

FrangipaniBlue · 23/05/2018 07:37

Another one here who doesn't like children 🙋🏻‍♀️

It's not even just when they're misbehaving, I just don't want them near me or to have to interact.

I hate it when people have babies and seem to want to hand them to you. Just no. I'm like Rachel in friends when Ross hands her Ben and she holds him at arms length.

I have ZERO maternal bones in my body, MIL once told me (I think it was meant as a compliment) how much I'd surprised her with DS as a baby because of how totally un-maternal I am

To this day I still say the only reason I have DS is because a doctor told me I might not be able to have children at which point my only child I want attitude kicked in!!

I wouldn't swap him for all the tea in China though, he's my world

BlueJava · 23/05/2018 07:39

Don't worry! I love my own and a few others (they have some lovely friends) and I've found it easier to like everyone now they are teenagers than when they were babies.

sanasa · 23/05/2018 07:44

I only like my children!

AlfredDaButtler · 23/05/2018 07:47

I’m certainly under no illusions that mine are perfect. In fact I’d say my low tolerance for strange kids makes me a more considerate parent because I make sure my DC behave in a way that means they’re less likely to actively piss people off.

SoyDora · 23/05/2018 07:51

I like pleasant, well behaved children. I don’t like unpleasant, badly behaved children. Same with adults really.

Markygirl1995 · 23/05/2018 07:58

Me and my partner rather stay away from others babies or children I think it's something we've always had we keep joking hoping we like ours 😂 it'll change our life for sure

CaveyWavey · 23/05/2018 07:59

I think for me it's more about disliking certain parenting styles not the actual children. I insist on good manners, have taught how to share, wiped snotty noses and changed dirty nappies promptly, the list goes on. My children are by no means perfect but I like to think that when we are out and about they don't cause other people any problems. Unless what you are saying is that you don't even like other people's children even when they are at their best.

In my experience my friendships have lasted longer with like minded people. I can't stand lazy parenting and it's the kids that lose out.

stegosauruslady · 23/05/2018 08:10

I tend to like teens, but I'm not fussed on other people's kids before then. I like my own so much that I'm pregnant with number four though!

blacklister · 23/05/2018 08:41

Yep, I get you OP. You won't feel like this about yours though. Wait until someone's messy toddler tries to stroke or grab your precious newborns face with its grubby hands. You'll get the rage! Now I'm the one with a toddler, but I try my best not to let her 1)be grubby 2) be a pest to other people

I adore my daughter and my niece who is the same age (2). Other than that children in general irritate me. You do have to smile, be kind and suck it up though, or you're in for a rough ride at baby group/toddler group/playschool etc. Also, your child will enjoy these child based events so you can't just say no thanks to everything (I say as I'm thinking with dread of a three year olds birthday party at a soft play centre this weekend). You get used to it. I'm assuming it's good training for when they go to school and have play dates/birthday parties all the time.

BlueBug45 · 23/05/2018 08:54

@Kittysparks1 I like most cats, most dogs and most children but don't like most adults. Was joked at two places I worked that I hated people. The truth is I dislike most people over 25.

Aw12345 · 23/05/2018 09:04

Completely agree!! We had friends to stay with their 3 year old dictator child. Made us drive around the town at 8pm because she wanted a chocolate doughnut and we didn't have any in the house! Didn't like one of the cereals we had so emptied the box on to the floor, made us individually rinse each piece of pasta for her, expected us to go and buy her new bedding because she didn't like the type of duvet we had!!!

Flipping nightmare. Never again!!

Roeslein · 23/05/2018 09:06

I find the whole "liking children" thing confusing. It's like asking "do you like senior citizens". Children are like any other people - some of them I like, others not so much. If a kid (regardless of age) is intelligent, curious and well-behaved, I will probably enjoy hanging out with them. If they are loud, incapable of entertaining themselves or running around in inappropriate places, I probably won't. Fortunately most of my friends' kids are in the first category!

beingsunny · 23/05/2018 09:10

Totally

SoyDora · 23/05/2018 09:23

Agree with Roeslein

Givemethebiggestslice · 23/05/2018 09:33

I can totally relate! I’d much rather see my friends for an evening dinner than a weekend meet up with their kids in tow.

Agree it’s how adults let kids behave in public that’s a big issue. DH & I were having dinner at the weekend in pub garden and these kids were running rings around our table screaming - if I was their parent I would have told them to play away from other diners (there was plenty of space in the beer garden)

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