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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

OK, everyone, should I go for number 4?

66 replies

broodybroody · 10/08/2004 18:21

I am so amazed with myself for even thinking about a fourth child that I've had to change my name for this as too many of you know me!

I'm 36, the other three are 6 and under. I swore never again after the last one, mainly because I was just bored with the whole pregnancy thing as well as broken nights etc etc, so why am I thinking about it now?

We have the space, we can afford another one, but I can't work out if I really could cope with a fourth in terms of sharing my attentions between all of them. Also schools and school runs will go on forever. Finally if I do have another I want it to be before next September so will have to get a move on. That would make the younger two close in age which would be nice, but all the more hard work.

I need Mumsnet to give me the pros and cons! Especially mums of 4... cast your mind back to the first two years of the fourth being around - was it hell??????

OP posts:

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lou33 · 11/08/2004 21:37

Four is soooo much harder than 3!

nutcracker · 11/08/2004 21:46

Is it really that much harder than 3 Lou ????

TBH I found going from 1 to 2 really really hard but going from 2 to 3 easy because i was used to having to share my attention, money, time e.t.c.

Would 4 be soooo much different ??

lou33 · 11/08/2004 21:51

Well I think it is Nutty, but like I said maybe this 4 malarkey isn't something I am cut out for. I cried buckets when I found out I was pg with number 3 and 4. I love them all, and am proud of them all, but it's harder than I ever thought.

nutcracker · 11/08/2004 21:54

I suppose thats why i want to be sure.
With Dds 1 and 2 i didn't even think about it really. Ds was more of a surprise but I was plkeased still.

Just don't want to have regrets either way.

lou33 · 11/08/2004 21:55

Yes, it isn't like we can just return them with a receipt is it ?

nutcracker · 11/08/2004 22:00

LOL, no. Have felt like doing that on several occasions though, especially since they broke up for the hols

I definatly need to think more about it i think.
God all this thinking is making my head hurt

Original poster

broodybroody · 11/08/2004 22:03

God it is tempting.
I don't know.
Maybe I'll deal with the coil first and then see if I get cold feet.... no that would be stupid wouldn't it.... arghh.

Lou, maybe your fourth was so much harder because of ds2's special needs? Emotionally harder as well as physically?

Maybe we should have a mass impregnation with 4th children. And then instead of a "due in August" thread we could have a "expecting number four" thread!

OP posts:

sportyspice · 11/08/2004 22:03

I'm debating about number 3 at the moment but say go for it! If it's something that you're thinking about now then imo those feelings will only turn into "what if's" as time goes on if you don't do it....says the woman who can't make up her mind! Desperately want another but trying to get head round practicalities, even more rushing around etc....maybe i'm just doing too much thinking and should sod it and take the plunge.

lou33 · 11/08/2004 22:03

I was content with two. In fact I had only a few days before told dh I felt my family was complete when I found I was pg with ds1. Then said the same blooming thing after ds1 was born, and ogt pg with ds2!

lou33 · 11/08/2004 22:08

No I don't think so, because he wasn't diagnosed until he was 18 m old. We didn't know in advance

zaphod · 11/08/2004 22:08

I have 5, and would agree with Janh. The older children amuse the youngest, and vice-versa. It is more expensive to go on holiday, and some-one always seems to need shoes or something. Still I think it is definitely worth it. Go for it. I just wish I had started sooner, I probably would have gone for six

sanssouci · 11/08/2004 22:42

I'm an "older mum" too (41 & have dd 4yrs & ds 1yr on Saturday but I am soooo tired! I feel like I've been constantly tired for the past 21 months! But that's me. I guess I feel like Lou, who tells it like it is! If you're up for it mentally and physically (energy, enthusiasm, etc.), go for it. Especially as your dh is keen & money & space aren't an issue. Money is now a huge issue for us, BTW. When dh & I argue, it's always about money. Sigh!

lou33 · 11/08/2004 22:48

Time and money, need more of both!

Original poster

broodybroody · 04/10/2004 10:09

well almost two months later and after a big discussion with dh last night, I think I'm going to go for it. getting the coil removed, and giving it 6 months, and if it doesn't happen then that is it! I don't want a bigger gap than that.

so wish me luck everyone... (oh lord can't believe I'm contemplating being pregnant AGAIN, yuck yuck yuck)

scarey!

OP posts:

Aero · 04/10/2004 10:32

Ooooooh - good luck BB! Hope it all works out for you. Keep us posted.
Nutty - another four thread!! Not easy to get away from it is it!! It's still ok to have three though! I'm sooooo not ready for four, she says wiping another ds2 puke off the carpet!!

ernest · 27/10/2004 09:17

hi broodybroody, we've just this w/e decided to go for no. 4. I have to say I'm surprised dh wanted a 4th & I'm a bit scared - I'm a stroppy, grumpy cow as it is, plus, I don't feel the overwhelming urge this time. the last 3 times I was desperate for a child, this time, it's like , well, we always wanted 4, 3 seems an odd number, I want a small gap, want to get it over & done with.... Doesn't sound very 'romantic', but now we've decided, hope it happens quickly. I've got 3 age 5 & under, so in similar position. Good luck to you. btw, I had mirena & it took me 3 months for body to settle down & 4.5 months in total to conceive number 3. but was told you can get og immediately, but I didn't have period for 3 months following mirena removal.

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