Gave birth yesterday. Really struggling with breastfeeding.

[birthofawoman]

Every midwife has told me that my baby's latch looks "perfect", but I'm having a number of difficulties:

1. The pain! "Breastfeeding shouldn't hurt if the latch is correct", so either my latch isn't correct (which goes against what every midwife has told me) or my nipples are sore and swollen, with broken skin, for some other reason (which could be what?). The sucking motion literally feels like daggers to my nipples.

2. Baby doesn't feed for long - only in bursts of up to about 7 minutes (usually around 5, though). He'll latch on, suck for a few minutes and then wriggle off.

3. He's constantly rooting and putting his hands in his mouth. Does this indicate that he's constantly hungry and I'm not feeding him enough, or it is something that babies of his age just do anyway?

4. He only produced one wet nappy today (much earlier). Second one was just poo.

My baby is the greatest gift ever, and I am so, so overjoyed that he is with me, and I'm finding myself already feeling like a failing mother - as though I'm starving him 😣💔 It seemed like all the other mums on the postnatal Ward had their hang of it. Meanwhile, I felt like an imposer...

I'm going to my local breastfeeding support centre tomorrow.

Sorry, I'm just feeling really disheartened and in need of advice!

You are not failing at all. Breastfeeding is not easy for many mothers. Sure there will soon be lots of mums along with some helpful advice. Hang in there and congratulation

Hopefully the support centre will be able to get to the bottom of it and give you some good advice - I also struggled hugely in the first few days and found the midwives not very helpful.

For me using the football hold and lots of lanolin cream helped. Also after a few days my baby seemed to wake up a bit and really got the hang of feeding. You’re doing a great job, be kind to yourself!

You gave birth yesterday? Congratulations and well done!

It can take ages for breast feeding to settle down.

When they are this tiny, sometimes their mouths are so small in relation to the nipple that the squeezing hurts like hell! It passes.

Great idea to go to a breast feeding support group.

You’re doing great - your baby can latch, everything else is working out details.

Hang on in there. Your milk won't have come in yet, but your baby is getting the colostrum which will help with immunity etc. It's not unusual for this bit to feel unsatisfactory while you both get the hang of it. Hopefully you'll get some proper advice tomorrow.

Congratulations on your lovely baby!

Sounds like you're doing great!

Sometimes it does just hurt - I found the pain eased around 4 weeks when letdown became less painful. Get some lansinoh cream and use it after every feed.

The other thing I didn't realise is that BF babies will feed a lot in the first few days/weeks... and I mean A LOT. DS would come off and immediately be routing again. They're establishing milk supply so you should put them back on again. This also continued for the first few weeks and he would cluster feed through the night. At about 4 weeks i could tell whether he was actively sucking on just using me as a dummy so we introduced a dummy and the feeds settled down a bit to every 2 hours or so.

Good luck! It can be very hard in the first few weeks but if you can stick it out past that point it's amazing!

Hello there and congrats on your baby son. Have you tried the rugb ball hold. I failed twice with my daughters many years ago and when pregnant with my son, a midwife suggested this position. I did it from the very first feed and can honestly say I didn’t look back fir a sold nine months (he bit me at that point so enough was enough 😄).

Hey have just had a new daughter and again, can honestly say I have experienced zero pain in nigh on 10 weeks (apart from the time I did feed her in the conventional position and had to take her off, it hurt so much!).

Give it a whirl, see how you get on, it has to be worth a try. Good luck x

1. It can be uncomfy at first because it's not something your body is used to. That said, there are causes of pain that could be looked at. Pain this early on won't be thrush but could be tongue tie. Or bad latch. But you'll get that looked at tomorrow.

If you put your thumb into your mouth so it touches just behind your teeth, and suck, you'll notice there's a lot of pressure. But if you put it in so it touches the top of the hard pallet at the back of your mouth, it's not the same feeling.
You're aiming to ensure the nipple and a good mouthful of breast is at the back of the mouth.
'nose to nipple' is a way to try to do that.
Also, the baby could be pulling away if baby isn't in the right position. Are ears, shoulders and hips aligned?

2. some babies don't feed for long. If you like, you can feed from the same side the next time. This in itself is ok.

3. Yes - that's normal - but you can take it as a cue to feed. It's much better not to wait until the baby is frustrated and crying to offer a feed.

4. Hmm I'd expect more wet nappies maybe.
   How alert is your baby between naps and feeds?

Hang in there OP! Flowers for you! I’m not an expert but my DS is 15 weeks old and we’ve managed to get breastfeeding sorted, so I’ll tell you based on my experiences...

1. Yes, it does hurt. There were a few days when I wanted to stop, because of the pain. Lansinoh cream (think I’ve spelled that right?) is your friend- apply liberally and regularly, and use breast pads because it’s oily and can stain clothes (my nightie.. :()

1. I don’t remember how long baby fed for, but you do need to check nappies- 1 wet nappy doesn’t sound like enough, but hopefully someone more expert can confirm. I think you probably just need to settle down on the sofa with baby and film/book/tea/LOTS of water, and let him eat and pause and eat again as he chooses?

YOU ARE NOT FAILING YOUR BABY. Repeat. Many times :) You’re doing a great job- he only arrived yesterday! I found the “natural breastfeeding” position really good, and it massively helped the latch. Take your top off, lay baby on your front, and let him root and find what he needs. It was a lifesaver, have a Google. He’ll be getting a lot more fluid once your milk comes in- at the moment he’s only getting colostrum.

The milk coming in was very painful for me, HUGE engorged boobs. Have a shower and hand express a bit while you’re in there to ease the engorgement.

Thinking of you!! :):)

Has he been checked for tongue tie? They need to make sure to check for posterior as well as anterior tie.

Yay, loads of people replied whilst I was writing my essay ;) Congrats on your baby, OP!

Can I just say, I think for most women it hurts at first, even when you're doing it right. It's the sensitivity of the nipples, unused to feeding and baby not finding the perfect latch.

It does get easier, I promise.

'But if you put it in so it touches the top of the hard pallet ' SOFT

Congratulations!
We are on week 3 so I know what you're going through! Firstly be confident in yourself, youre doing amazing! And you're both learning a new skill!
Get lots of skin to skin, and keep the baby latched on as much as your can. If he comes off just keep him snuggled and latch on when he seems hungry. Your milk hasn't come in yet so he'll just be getting small amounts of colostrum, which is all they need right now.
For the pain; this is brand new so the pain now is normal. Your nipples aren't used to be clamped down on and suctioned so it will hurt for a while! By day 7 the pain started to calm down for me. I got my latch checked by every midwife just to be sure and I also used shields which were great. I lathered on the lansinoh nipple cream after every feed. Multi mam compresses from the fridge are good for soothing. And ice before a feed to numb the nipples slightly was lovely.
Basically, don't panic, keep going and be proactive by asking your midwives for help and you'll be great!

I have breastfed three babies and I think one of the most dangerous messages healthcare professionals give is that if breastfeeding hurts, you're not doing it right.

Ahh OP I found bfing pretty painful for quite a few weeks with both. Lanisoh. Lanisoh. Lanisoh. Also painkillers. Like paracetamol.

I found pinching my breast to make a triangle and guiding the baby to the breast easier than letting them root and latch. And you want babys mouth to be wide open like a baby bird and cover as much of the auriole (can never spell that) as possible.

Your milk won't be in yet. Mine didnt until the 3rd day. Ds didnt start with wet nappies until it came in. We had a bit of moisture that was the colour of brick dust but the midwives were quite happy with that.

Eat and drink as much as you can. Keep baby close, let him bf as much as he wants and as much as you can stand it.

I promise it gets easier. Then it gets harder again. But then easier. But if it gets too hard for either of you don't worry about formula. It's absolutely fine to ff.

It takes a few days for the milk to come in fully. If you are still worried in a day or two can you get a breast feeding counselor to help?

Not all midwives are experienced in breast feeding or have the time to support first time mothers. With my first I was in hospital and the midwife who helped was student but the only one who had actually breastfed a baby.

My first was hard going for a while but once it gets easier life is easier - you can go most places with just a nappy bag. Subsequent ones were easier from the start - maybe I was just less worried, maybe the first was just a bit of a shit

I used to say to myself "big wide mouth" - they need to open fully to get the areola in, otherwise they're feeding from the nipple, which is painful.

Keep taking them off and starting again if you need to.

I bled a little each time but got past it and fed for a very long time so have hope!

And congrats!!!!!

Oh I remember that frustration. ( nearly 22 years ago) its so hard when you are tired and sore from the birth.

I was desperate to breast feed with allergies galore in my DHs family.
Two days in I just didn't know what to do but after a 45min rant with a breast feeding counsellor( soooo patient) I turned a corner and never looked back.

"Nipple to nose, tummy to mummy" was the advice. Also sitting in a chair with arms on both sides really helped with supporting my elbows( it was actually a reclining sun lounger DH had just brought me as DD was a summer baby) Positioning is everything!

I also had inverted nipples so harder to latch on but I used nipple shields and this also really did the trick.

Congratulations! Keep trying- there will be a moment where you crack it and then it will be plain sailing!

Congrats!!

The flipple latch (youtube) and shields really helped me. Along with putting my feet on a low stool for comfort!

Good luck

The main reason mothers give up BFing is lack of support. Reach out for all the support you can.

The National BFing helpline is great. 0300 100 0212
They're open 9.30am – 9.30pm every day including weekends and bank holidays.

Or if you prefer, they have a live chat option:

La Leche League are also brilliant 0345 120 2918
Their helpline is open 8am - 11pm, also every day.

Here's their advice on nipple pain

Congratulations on your little one! You can do this. You've got good instincts, you're reaching out for help, that's half the battle.

I remember it really hurting at first with my first. It turned out to be bad latch in the end.

But once we'd cracked it, it was the easiest thing ever. It may not feel like it now, but boobs were the answer to everything, no idea how I would have parented without them!

I haven my read every post but it should be one wet nappy for each day of life. So 1 day old = 1wet nappy, 2 days old = 2 wet nappies etc up until 5-7 days old when you should have 5-7 wet nappies per day.
Please get some expert support or call a breast feeding helpline.
It shouldn’t hurt but did for the first few weeks for me both times. I had tongue ties snipped privately and also cranial osteopathy. Cost a fair bit but worth it to save buying formula and the faff of making bottles.
Make sure you air your nipples. Don’t leave them damp with cream sweating under breast pads. Lansinoh on then leave them out so the air can heal them.

I remember that feeling and it did get better.

Things I tried...

Feeding lying down, I have large breasts and this worked for me to get nipples in the right place and get feeding established. Not very sociable though (in my head I would be sitting up in a chair discretely feeding).

Yes it hurts to start with but it does get better. Lansiloh (?) cream was amazing.

I really struggled and had one midwife who seemed desperate to bring me a bottle for DS. I refused. Another HCP in the maternity ward stayed with me and helped me with the latch for hours. She was amazing and we sorted it but it took a long time. There is support and help, please ask for it.

Hi OP

establishing bf can be really hard and take ages. It was about 6 weeks before I felt like I knew what I was doing. In that time I had to seek out loads of extra support as DD lost 13% of her body weight quite quickly. 12.5% is usually the cut off for admission to paediatrics where they'll monitor and formula feed them. We only swerved it as DD did a wee on the consultant, thus proving she wasn't dehydrated. She just wouldn't latch, wouldbt wake to feed. We had to wake her every 3-4 hours and feed her expressed milk whilst she got her weight back up. It was hard!

That said, it was worth persevering with as I ended up bf her for a year, and once she had woken up a bit more she turned into a really efficient feeder. Added bonus that she'd also take a bottle of expressed milk so DH could feed her. The internet will tell you they will get nipple confusion if you introduce a bottle so early but DD had one from day 6 and it was absolutely fine.

Mw weigh babies loads so you'll get a good idea pretty quickly if they're losing too much weight. It's NORMAL for them to lose some, and there's plenty I help if they lose too much.

1) The pain! "Breastfeeding shouldn't hurt if the latch is correct", so either my latch isn't correct (which goes against what every midwife has told me) or my nipples are sore and swollen, with broken skin, for some other reason (which could be what?). The sucking motion literally feels like daggers to my nipples.

It bloody well does hurt at first! For some people anyway. I've never felt pain like it when my milk came in after a few days. Cold flannels were required on my boobs!! And the let down, fuck me that ragged. It got a lot better very quickly though.

Ask for some support re this, everyone is different and will experience it differently. There may be a problem, there may not be. Agree with PP that you need to cover them in lansinoh, that helps loads. Nipple shields are good too.

2) Baby doesn't feed for long - only in bursts of up to about 7 minutes (usually around 5, though). He'll latch on, suck for a few minutes and then wriggle off

DD was the queen of 5 minute feeds from the word go. I worried endlessly about it as all the rules said this wasn't enough. In the end I just embraced it and was glad she was such an efficient feeder!

4) He's constantly rooting and putting his hands in his mouth. Does this indicate that he's constantly hungry and I'm not feeding him enough, or it is something that babies of his age just do anyway?

Could be both. DD did this a lot!

3) He only produced one wet nappy today (much earlier). Second one was just poo

Hmm...not sure about this, have you got the pampers nappies that show the line on them when they're wet? It can be hard to tell otherwise. If not you can put a piece of tissue paper in the nappy to help you know if it's wet or not. I'd ask the mw about this.

I'm going to my local breastfeeding support centre tomorrow

Fab! It's essential to get support quickly, if for no other reason than to reassure yourself that you're doing everything right.

Congratulations OP!!
I was told by a couple of family members that breastfeeding was toe curlingly agonising for the first few days. One told me she had to count slowly to ten just to bear the initial pain. Thank god they told me because I heard all that guff from the NCT about how it shouldn't hurt. Lansinoh cream will really help to toughen up your poor nipples- get your OH to get some for you asap. After a couple of weeks it does settle down and then is ok and very convenient. Good luck

Good luck OP and congratulations!

One tip for when your milk comes in - if you can, feed in the bath after a hot shower over boobs! You’ll need to make sure water temperature is ok and not too hot for baby if any part of them dangles in and probably need someone there to pass baby to you and then take back but for me it was the magic answer to engorgement (my next challenge after the colostrum days)