Struggling with weight gain at 17 weeks

[nervousFTM]

I’ve just tried on some bikinis in the next size up ahead of holidays and want to 😫🔫

Ive always been relatively trim (5’5” and 118lbs) and have gained around 10lbs so far. The weight seems to be all over - I know everyone can’t wait for bellies to “pop” but I’m embarrassed at how fat mine looks and it already looks like I’m 6-7 months pregnant at times.

Honestly can’t deal with it :( even keep telling my husband to turn away and not look at me. I’ve got 3 pre-baby vacations next month and can’t fathom getting my body out. I don’t think i look pregnant, just overweight :(

Just wondering if anyone else has gained this much in just 16/17 weeks from a weight that was more on the lower side of normal?? If so how are you coping?! Do you care about it?

I’m a total exercise freak and have continued to go to HIIT classes (a few weeks ago I did 12 days in a row!) and Yoga, since the first tri passed I’ve been back doing hot yoga too. I don’t think there’s been a single day I’ve not exercised! I’ve always been like that. Probably eating 2,000-2,300 calories a day like I used to but I guess the exercise isn’t doing its job anymore ☹️

Please don’t get me wrong, I really want this baby it’s just so hard coping with the fatness.

You aren’t fat, you are pregnant. Stop being so overly self conscious. Of all the things to be worrying about during pregnancy, your appearance really isn’t worth the energy. You haven’t put on too much. You are keeping fit. Just get some perspective.

10lb is not a lot to gain at this point. It sounds about right. You shouldn't be doing hot yoga though. Overheating is very bad for baby. Normal yoga is fine. And you need to relax and love your pregnant body. It's producing another human, just think about the miracle that's going on inside you and cut yourself some slack.

OP I'm also struggling. I used to being able to regulate my weight and keep it under control with diet and exercise. I do have a bump now (also 16 weeks) but my arse and thighs have also expanded. I feel very self conscious. Im not sure what the answer is? I'm trying to eat healthily but I'm very hungry. It's hard growing a person. I miss my abs though.

You're having a baby. Try focusing on that and not your looks.

Just to say with some of the exercise you are doing you risk injuring yourself and harming your baby.

HIIT classes are not recommended for pregnant women and neither are any fitness classes involving jumping due to hormones relaxing your ligaments. Hot yoga is also not recommended as being pregnant means you have more difficulty regulating your body temperature.

However you can still do weights and cardio activity like spinning. If you ran or cycled outside regulary before pregnancy you can continue until you feel it is unsafe to do so, or get warned by your doctor/midwife not to do so.

Regardless of what exercise you do you need to be in maintenance mode. This means lightening weights, modifying some movements, not overheating and decreasing the level of strenuousness.

Btw I had a very flat stomach until about 8 weeks. Then I just lost it due to having a short body. My OH is amused but I don't care.

Sorry but I think you need to pull yourself together and focus on the bigger picture OP. You are having a baby and gaining some weight is inevitable. Everyone goes through the ‘could be a baby, could just be a big lunch’ phase at some point and you just have to get on with it.

Hot yoga is definitely not recommended in pregnancy and I’m confused as to what reputable teacher would allow you to continue the class. There is nothing wrong with continuing exercise and you can usually continue a reasonably rigorous routine but tbh you sound like you are obsessing to a degree that makes it unhealthy. Have you always had body image issues?

@Didntcomeheretofuckspiders - some women don't show until much later on in pregnancy regardless of their starting weight and the OP may not have told her instructors. You are advised to but not everyone does.

Thanks for replies guys.

I've been given the all clear on my exercise regime several times - and I tell every teacher whose class I go to as I'm not out to harm the bambino.

Yes I've struggled with eating disorders for over 20 years. A lot of comments on here about me focusing on my looks but it is about how I FEEL and believe me, I wish I could change that.

I am currently 37 weeks pregnant with a little boy who has only a 50% chance of survival upon birth. THAT is a worry. Please don't concern yourself with weight gain, be thankful for the healthy baby your body is creating. You really don't know how lucky you are. Good luck x

Re: the hot yoga, I keep myself in the cooler part of the room and leave if I need to (teacher never minds as they're aware of my pregnancy). I'm part of a community of teachers who have taught and practised hot yoga throughout their pregnancies (I backed off a lot during first tri despite many people saying it would be fine). FYI the room is nowhere near like a sauna - it's much more airy!

And the HIIT classes have been very easy to scale back on effort levels, it's half the class running and half on the weights. I've seen heavily pregnant women in there! It's not been possible (energy wise) to go full pelt and I never do any jumping (not even jump backs in yoga)

I agree that people telling you to get over it actually aren't that helpful. Have you told anyone else how you feel? If you have had eating disorders, is there any support that you can draw on?

@positivityiskey praying for you darling 💙 and your little man.

I've been through a big scare (nothing like what you are going through, my point being I can only imagine how it feels) when I had high risk result from CUBS, so went through NIPT and CVS and apparently all is okay. Worst week of my life

I honestly hate myself for feeling so awful about this weight stuff given that scare, I fear it's the evil old eating problems coming out to play :( also struggled with mental health over the last while.

Thank you @BumbleNova 💖 I am getting counselling currently for my moods. Today I spent the whole hour almost talking about how shit I feel. I knew the pregnancy itself was going to be a trigger.

I guess I just posted on here to see if what I'm feeling is normal - but so many comments seem to be about pulling myself together and being grateful for what is happening so perhaps it's not normal x

What you're feeling is normal for many women. I don't understand women who can't wait to 'pop' and get their bump. Each to their own but I don't have a desire to get large. That said, it's just part and parcel of having a child and unavoidable so we just have to put up with it. I have always prided myself on my body (sorry I know that sounds vain) and gutted to be losing it. But luckily my husband is very supportive and I know it doesn't have to be forever. Try to focus on the longer term rather than the short term, and the benefit (ie getting a baby!!) rather than the downsides. The weight can be temporary. Oh and I've been using a graph to chart my weight gain on my app - it helps me see that I'm in the 'normal' bounds and then I feel better; thst might help? X

Have you told your midwife that you may be prone to eating disorders? Very worthwhile flagging as they should be able to offer you some professional support.

Thanks so much for being so understanding @surreygirl1987 😘 yup I know it's the bigger picture I should be focusing on. I'm hoping I'll get a few flutters in the next few weeks which may help me connect more to that. It still feels so surreal.

What app are you using to chart your progress? Xx

Yup I did at the booking appt @FoxgloveStar - The midwife was totally rubbish though - I found out at my 16+ week appointment yesterday that she has not actioned any of the stuff she promised to (despite me crying to her in the first appointment - depression not only ED). For some reason they seem to have written me off in terms of the mental health support - perhaps because I told them I am seeing a therapist for this anyway... it would be great to get some support from a midwife who is trained in pregnancy after ED but it's proving elusive 🙁

@nervousFTM I was the same at 16-20 weeks and just felt really fat! I've put on 22lbs now and I'm only 25 weeks I feel like I look a bit better now though as bump is sticking out more so balances the rest a bit better?? You have my sympathy, I've always been super fit and loads of people just don't understand how hard it is to adapt to the relentless weight gain (I now have awful cellulite all over my legs, and thigh fat that pushes my knees down.. basically I just can't look at it). Just remember it's temporary x

www.babycenter.com/pregnancy-weight-gain-estimator

Here is the calculator.. I'm way over the normal range already but not much I can do about it. Trying to keep active and eat well and limit my gains to 5lb per month now which would put me at a 37lb total gain at 40 weeks (recommended weight gain is 25-35lbs for someone with normal bmi at start).

@TheGrumpySquirrel thank you darling! Really comforting words 💖 sorry you are also struggling. I've heard the gain can slow right down at the end of pregnancy so you'll no doubt be within the range. I figured out I'll end up around 33lbs total. Not being very tall, it does just feel like it all goes 'out' and I've not been able to wear many of my clothes since around 9/10 weeks (I hate things being too tight!!). Actually vacuum packed away a lot of my wardrobe already

A close friend who also is super fit (just had her second baby at 40) said she gained 21kg and 19kg respectively (too early in the morning rn to work out the lb equivalent lol)! But it all comes off. I'm looking forward to having more of a bump and of course hose all important flutters and movement of our little one. Wishing you all the best for your last few weeks! Xxxxxx

Definitely vacuum pack the wardrobe! No point trying to squeeze into stuff that is too tight. Trousers were the first to go for me too, since about 10 weeks. When I put on weight it goes on my hips/thighs and bum first. Hoping the gain now will be mostly bump and less the rest of me!

NervousFTM - I just wanted to give you a little update. I gave birth to my son 5 weeks ago. As I said previous, he had 50% chance of survival. I can happily say my boy is an absolute soldier and we are bringing him home from hospital next week! He survived! One proud Mumma right here! Hope all is well with your pregnancy x

@positivityiskey what amazing news darling!!!! How are you finding motherhood three months in?

I'm 30 weeks now and much bigger, but also can't believe how much I was stressing about my weight 🤦🏻‍♀️ how embarrassing. May need to be induced at 38 weeks due to a couple of episodes of reduced fetal movement but as baby is measuring on the 95th centile I think I'll take it!

Hope you're loving being a mummy 💖💙

Don’t worry, is not embarrassing! Is totally normal for any woman to find changes to their body scary and hard to deal with, no matter how much the pregnancy is wanted. Best of luck with your birth and being a mum!

The physical changes in pregnancy and the weight gain and the general sense of not being in control of your body are hard to deal with if you have a history of eating disorders. Please make sure you are honest about how you're feeling with midwives etc as there is support there if you need it.