No one to organise a baby shower for me

[CathyandHeathcliff]

I don't have many friends and especially not in this area as I've recently moved here in the past few years so I don't think I'll be having one sadly.

Going to a friend's in July as she's due in August but no one to organise one for me

Organise it yourself if you absolutely must be grabby and have a party just so people buy things for your baby.
I hate them

Dont worry op there a load of nonsense.

I must admit I avoid them like the plague! I've been invited to three and been busy for all of them.

I feel like people have missed the point a little and this is less about the baby shower itself than it is about loneliness? If you're already feeling a bit lonely or isolated, something like this can really shine a spotlight on it.

I was similar before I had dc1, and actually found pregnancy and babies were a great way of building a support network. You don't say how far along you are. Have you thought about antenatal classes, or pregnancy yoga, anything like that? You might not meet anyone who'll throw you a shower, but you might bond with new people in the same boat as you. Once the baby is born there is a whole new world of weekday socialising. It will be OK.

Organise your own. Sign someone else’s name. I organised my own and just put my mum’s names on the invites.

Baby showers are pretty cringeworthy I think.
If you really want one organise it yourself.

I didn’t have a baby shower for my first and won’t be having one for my second either. I have lots of friends with babies and toddlers and none of them has ever had a baby shower either, and I wouldn’t attend even if I did get invited to one. I don’t get the point of them to be honest.

No baby showers for either of mine too. I would have felt uncomfortable having one as I don't really enjoy being centre of attention. Perhaps a nice lunch with some friendly colleagues instead OP?

There are few things I'd like to do less.

Agree with other posters, most people don’t have one IME. I think I’ve only ever been to one.

ive just organised my own?
I didnt know someone was supposed to do it for you?
Just thought it was a good excuse to have a cake tbh.
Didnt have one with my first but saw this lovely unicorn cake in our local bakery and thought if I threw a baby shower it would be a good excuse to buy that cake hahahaha
Quite a few people have said they are coming I was surprised... turns out people love free cake!
Ive got balloons to put it up, should be fun!

Just organise your own if you want one. Surely youve got a couple of friends who would come? Dont take it too seriously its just an American thing which is a good excuse to have a bit of a party.

I'm not having one as I don't fancy it and I'd rather people came when baby is born, bringing a gift if they want to, as opposed to being expected to at a shower. However our good friends did a couples one where they invited all friends and family of both genders as a celebration, which I liked a lot more. No silly games ect but they laid out cards to fill in with predictions, wishes for baby and tips ect as a bit of fun and something to keep. They organised it themselves and made it very personal, with homemade sweets and thank you tokens. Perhaps you and DP could do this if you really want one?
Make sure you sign up for NCT to give you a chance to meet other mums and expand your social circle. Also look in to baby classes once little one arrives.

I’ve never known a single person in real life to have one

I wouldn’t want one, they seem a bit tacky to me. If you are feeling lonely maybe there are ways you could make more friends? Are there any antenatal groups in your area you could join?

Never had one.
Never been to one.
Height of naff.

So tacky op. You really don't want one.

Why are we getting pressure to throw in a party for EVERYTHING now days! I truly hope this will not become an essential in few years time.

Over 3dcs and with lots of friends with small DCs I've had none and only been to 3, they were fun (and to me, not that tacky), but still quite rare and really aren't a requirement or worth getting up set about.

Definitely don't throw your own though, that would be grabby! Could you just invite some of your new acquaintances over for a casual summer barbeque and have a fun time and get to know people better pre baby without having to call it a shower or anything else?

Sorry you’re feeling a bit lonely OP. Forget the baby shower; but perhaps think about signing up to some antenatal classes to meet other mums to be? Are you taking a few months of mat leave? It can be isolating if your partner is working and you’re home with baby. My NCT group has been a lifesaver for me personally. Others met mums through prenatal yoga or fb groups. Good luck with the pregnancy and congratulations

I kind of understand this. I wouldn’t have a baby shower because i agree that they’re tacky, but I can count my friends on one hand, so having a ‘party’ would be pretty pointless. Sure, I’ve got acquaintances, but I wouldn’t expect them to share in my excitement in the same way my actual friends will. I can imagine how tough it must be if you’ve just moved to a new area.

I’m hoping i can meet people through classes and baby groups but it is quite daunting to think how isolating things may be if that doesn’t work out. Hopefully you’ll be able to expand your network once your baby has safely arrived.

OP you have stumbled upon MNetters favourite thing to do - tell everyone how much they hate baby showers while completely skipping over your point about feeling lonely! In my circle, a baby shower is more about a catch up with the group, a chance to relax, and some tea and cake rather than being 'showered' with presents.

Did you move far? Any chance someone back there would arrange something if you visited? You could tell your partner how you feel and arrange to go out just the two of you?

One thing that pregnancy does is help you find new friends- go to all the classes you can now and when the baby is here. A year from now you'll have a small army of new friends.

I’ve never been to one but they don’t look like much fun.

What porgs said. This isn’t about crappy baby showers (3dc, 0 showers) but about isolation and loneliness. Get thee to some NCT groups and find your people. Or find a book club. Or both. Making friends with tiny people is way easier than once they hit school. Once the baby is here, hibernate briefly, then get out of the house every day. Find as many groups as you can and meet lots of people in the same boat.
Good luck xx

Iv arranged my own "baby shower". More of just a get together tho where im paying for 19 of my closest friends and family to have afternoon tea :) xx