Baby on board badges. Anyone use them?

[SunnyMami]

Thinking of ordering one as my commute is a nightmare. Anyone on here use them? Do people really notice and move for you? (I'll be on a train in the midlands). I've never actually seen one before however so was wondering if anyone had any experience. I'm only 15 weeks so don't necessarily need one yet but may do in the future...

I'm sure it does happen occasionally, and obviously I'm not denying anyone's particular experiences! But sometimes I do wonder how much of what people write about travel in London veers towards the 'catastrophising'.

And as you can see from some on this thread, there are plenty of people who don't think pregnant women have any particular need or right to those seats ...

(not including myself, obviously )

@Flicketyflack who's another snowflake?

I've witnessed people pretend not to see a disabled person an stay firmly put, but can't imagine someone asking for a seat as literally nobody moving. People who have experienced this must have been really unlucky! I just can't imagine it.

I think most people in London are conditioned to them now. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a pregnant woman in rush hour without one (obviously lots don’t choose to wear them but I’ve not seen it). It removes ambiguity and I think people look for the badge. I found it most useful when things went wrong with the trains and they were rammed. There was one occasion where I was struggling when I was standing and it was so crowded I couldn’t move and was feeling really sick and woozy. Another standing passenger noticed and got me a seat. I’ve never seen so many people jump out of their seats- it was a bit embassasing but I needed it and wasn’t in a place I could have got to the seats to ask for one without help.

Out of London I’m not so sure. If you’re not looking out for them, I’d guess they’d not be noticed as much.

I never had a badge and I was always offered a seat when visibly pregnant and asked when I wasn't visibly pregnant and never had a problem.

I do think on ranked trained / tube you need to ask people are so engrossed in what they're reading / playing on their phone / not making eye contact with strangers that a badge isn't going to make any difference.

I got one when I felt I needed it. I don't wear it all the time, only when I'm experiencing a bit of pgp. When I do wear it I will always get offered a seat very quickly. People are very polite about giving up their seat on the tube. And since I'm now obviously pregnant (25 weeks) I don't even need the badge to be offered a seat.

Get one if you need it. I wish I got mine in the first trimester when I probably needed it the most.

Yes, sorry, I wasn't claiming it didn't ever happen - I did say I'd been lucky! It just that my personal experience has been quite different to what I see described on these threads as 'the norm'.

I commute to London daily 50 minute train and 15 minute tube. I have had and still have morning sickness all day. I have only twice been offered a seat on the train and despite standing where the doors open experience people pushing past me daily to try and get a seat. On the way home I stand in priority but will not ask for a seat as I have seen people be shouted at for daring to ask. Yes I am pregnant not disabled but for the last 6 weeks My feet swell and are very uncomfortable and my balance is not so good when the train brakes or rattles.
On the tube people have been a bit better but I only get offered a seat on average 1 out of 10 journeys. I did have another pregnant woman push me but the way to get to a seat, the sisterhood doesn't exist then! Since last week (29 weeks) I have had more offers of seats.
So many people are looking at their phone they simply don't notice and the train people resent the 5k a year they pay and feel like they deserve a seat.
I would still wear one as someone who always used to offer a seat it's useful to know for sure that someone needs one.

I agree that I've found people less eager to offer (though I have got a seat when I've asked) on the train - the trouble is it's a much bigger ask, when I get on the next stop is 30 minutes away so people are committing to standing for at least that long, so I see why they're more reluctant to give up their seat than for a short tube journey.

If you get on when it's really crowded, then people giving up seats isn't an option as you can't get within six feet of them anyway - and anyone seated won't be able to see you either. And everyone gets shoved - with a stick people do give me about an extra six inches of space but not enough to help.

I was pregnant before the badges came out, and by the time I'd have been entitled to the badge I had a stick or crutches so people were very kind. Actually they were very good at offering seats before I knew I was pregnant and I thought I had flu, saying I looked grey or tired.

I have witnessed people not getting up when asked but almost invariably it's a tourist who didn't understand the question (sometimes resulting in racist abuse from other passengers).

My answer to "pregnancy isn't a disability" is "it is the way my body does it".

I can't believe how nasty women can be to other women. If we can't support each other, there is no hope of equality in the future.

Pregnancy itself is not the illness but it can cause any number of illnesses which can leave people immobilised and housebound. If you've been fortunate enough to have a healthy pregnancy and survive your commute standing up until the day before you delivered, that's great for you. Doesn't mean you can assume all other women feel the same or are capable of the same. At the absolute extreme, there are women who have suffered stillbirth from particularly nasty falls on public transport. It's a fact that a pregnant women's centre of balance is not the same and they are more likely to fall on a moving train or bus. Some people on here don't know the meaning of empathy unfortunately.

TFL have done something to alert others that pregnant women may be more in need of a seat and good for them in doing so. If you don't like the badge for whatever reason, don't wear it and keep your pathetic and unwanted judgement of other women to yourself. For those that choose to wear it, it won't automatically get you a seat, you often do need to ask but its more likely to - those who would offer a seat (like me and most people I know!) are no longer wondering 'is she/isnt she?' and will get up immediately.

I commuted by tube for the entire of my first pregnancy and other than a few rude individuals (who pushed me out the way to get the last available seat), I was offered a tube seat most of the time during peak hours. Surprisingly, I actually found going to work on weekends when it was non-commuters, people were most reluctant to move.

I work in London and did wear one in the later stages of pregnancy and not for the trains as I always got a seat out of fenchurch Street and if it was busy would wait for the next train, but more for walking along the road after some man barged in to me and sent me flying, people do take more care when walking pass and see it.

I wonder if it also differs by the demographic of your commute (obviously affected by where you're travelling to/from)? I work at a university and have found the students to be much, much worse than general public for barging into me/getting impatient if I'm slow on the stairs/forcing me to squeeze through small spaces by not moving enough. It's not because they're ruder - I teach some of them and they're generally delightfully polite! - but, I would guess, because very few of them have been pregnant or even had a close friend who has been, so it's just a lot less on their radar - when they see pregnant women they don't think of them needing potentially needing a bit more physical consideration. It's notable how often men who give me their seats comment on how their partners struggled with public transport with pregnant - I do think it's just much more on your radar once you've had personal experience of it.

Try being invisibly Disabled as I am! If I said "I'm disabled please can someone possibly spare their seat?" I'd be met with filthy looks/names etc. People assume because I'm overweight that my weight is the cause when really it's a consequence. Thankfully now I have a Disabled Railcard/Bus pass and Blue Badge. I also drive everywhere but god forbid I should ever have to travel in London!

There's a new initiative in London, which is a badge scheme for people with invisible disabilities. I haven't actually seen anyone with one of those badges yet, but I think it's a brilliant idea

I’ve seen them, “please offer me a seat”?

It's a tricky one. I fractured a bone in my foot (wore a moon boot to begin with but after that no one could tell I was in pain), and I had to get the DLR in London to work. 20 mins max to end station. I quickly discovered that if I went one or two stops backwards and then got on in the right direction I got a seat 100% of the time as my 'home' station was busy. Added about 5-6 mins to my commute, but worth it. But then... I would have women with Baby on Board badges get on at 'my' station and look at me accusingly. Really annoyed me. Of course my tactic can't be used in every single case (probably fairly few). But the expectation of a seat and lack of understanding that other people may have reasons to sit was infuriating! I was actually shouted at once.

@Nevth unfortunately lots of women act entitled and show this more when they pregnant. They forget there are people with invisible disabilities, lower limb injuries or even illnesses which mean they are even less able to stand then them.

One of my friends' had a vitamin D deficiency and then got pregnant a year after it was rectified, and absolutely refused during her pregnancy to ask anyone for a seat. As while her vitamin D deficiency wasn't as bad as mine, she realised loads of people sitting down could be in more pain than her. She also had the disadvantage of being small until 35 weeks.

Oh and I've got accusing looks recently because I have a habit of putting a big bag on my lap, though when I remove it it's clear I'm pregnant. Added to that I walk fast as it stops the baby getting into an uncomfortable position or my ligaments hurting so much.

One arsehole having a go at you can make you reticent for years to request a seat. And guilt and not knowing whether you have a disability - I only got diagnosed with a hypermobility syndrome plus possible other stuff five years ago after tough pregnancies with SPD. Before that I'd been an adult for 15 years in pain and struggled to stand, but just got told by everyone I must be lazy... Now I carry a walking stick and friends ask me why given I can walk fine (in between frequent injuries) - it's because I really can't stand for more than a couple minutes and a stick is mostly magic at getting a seat without having to ask.

I only get hacked off at people who complain "I was obviously pregnant " or "I was visibly in pain" - no such thing. Until I was pregnant myself and knowingly saw lots of pregnant bumps, I'd have assumed 90% of them weren't, or rather just not thought about it, and people gurn so much its impossible to tell if a random stranger is in pain. It's hard enough to tell with your nearest and dearest! Your average Londoner is well-meaning but can't see well through crowds, distracted, and definitely not psychic!

unfortunately lots of women act entitled and show this more when they pregnant. They forget there are people with invisible disabilities, lower limb injuries or even illnesses which mean they are even less able to stand then them.

I happily give my seat up the rest of the time but at 34 weeks pregnant (but carrying small) I am not going to get into some game of impairment top trumps; one of the many other passengers can give up their seat.

Hey, some underground stations may be able to provide you with one.

@J3551011 Not every woman has a pregnancy that they sail through. Im 6 weeks pregnant, nausea has kicked in and the badges help me a lot. Im pretty sure you'd want me to sit rather than puke on your shoes

@J3551011 My DS stopped growing in my last pregnancy, probably as a result of a fall I had at 37 weeks, and had a stroke when he was born. You really think the risk to a pregnant woman of a fall is worth it???

I live in London and my (non-pregnant) friends and I all agree that we welcome the Baby on Board badge.

I say this as someone who once offered my seat to a woman only to be told "um, no... I just carry my weight in my stomach... I may have over-indulged at lunch" and we both started blushing furiously. In my defence, she was facing me so I couldn't really tell the profile of her stomach.

I now scrutinise women's stomachs very closely (or their lapel, for a badge) before offering a seat in order to avoid making the same mistake.

@60sname if you are already in a seat then you shouldn't give it up for someone else. However if you ask and that person refuses to give it up you - or more likely someone with you - shouldn't start having a go at them.

To be honest the only time I've seen it happen has been on the Waterloo and City line when a man with a cage on his leg female partner started to have a go at other passengers. I then spoke to a friend who had one on his leg in the past, who pointed out sitting down for a short trip with such a contraption was actually more hassle than it was worth. You just need people to give you enough space and not knock it.

To those asking if you need to order a badge, you don’t. Just ask a member of staff - I got mine from a nice man at Oxford Circus and it’s been great because I commute from Hertfordshire to London daily, so an hour plus each way, and while I am conditioned into standing it’s been great to have people offer without me having to explain.

I’m only 11 weeks and I’m a bit fat so there would definitely be a fair amount of “hmm, pregnant or a bit fat?” particularly in the coming weeks, without the badge. It takes away the ambiguity because god knows I’ve had moments before where someone isn’t wearing a badge and I’ve been sat there in a seat thinking “Oh god, is that lady pregnant or does she just have a tummy” and I would hate to upset somebody.

I totally wouldn’t be offended if someone offered me a seat if I wasn’t pregnant, I’d find it really funny and also really kind, but that’s just me.