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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

160 mile round trip on the way home from the hospital.

31 replies

Zcarter · 14/04/2018 10:53

My partners parents live 80 miles away from us and his mum is quite ill, she will be unable to make the trip to visit us once the baby is born. This is my first child (and her first grandchild) so i don't know if i am i being completely mental but is it a bad idea once i am discharged from the hospital after labour to drive up and see them with the baby. My partner thinks its a stupid idea and to see them in a couple of days later, i think if we get it out the way once i am home i am home and can relax without feeling pressure to go up and see them. I have said we wont make concrete plans but is this a completely idiotic idea?

Thanks

OP posts:

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Somerville · 14/04/2018 10:58

I couldn't have sat in a car for that long when I first came out of hospital with any of my babies, but especially the first. And not very nice for a tiny newborn to be in the car seat for so long. And your partner probably won't have had any sleep for a night or two so won't be safe to drive a long distance.

Wait a few weeks and then go for a full day/overnight.

Neolara · 14/04/2018 10:59

Yes, it's a ridiculous plan. Sorry.

endofthelinefinally · 14/04/2018 11:01

I think it is a bad idea.
You may be in pain and unable to sit. Babies should not be in a car seat for longer than about 40 minutes at a time so you will be stopping frequently.
You will be bleeding and needing toilet stops.
When I had my first I just managed to sit in the car for the 15 minute drive home then hobbled in to get an ice pack and a doughnut cushion. Baby wanted to feed roughly every 20 minutes...

Xmasbaby11 · 14/04/2018 11:02

Give it a couple of weeks. No way would I plan anything soon after the birth. Nothing's more important than your recovery and looking after the baby. It's not compatible with massive journeys.

StylishMummy · 14/04/2018 11:02

Newborns up to 8 weeks shouldn't be in a car seat for more than 30-40 minutes at a time without a break of an hour between each stint, this is due to oxygen deprivation.

Babies 8-16 weeks shouldn't be in the car seat for more than 60-70 minutes without an hours break.

Bloody stupid plan

StylishMummy · 14/04/2018 11:03

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/6006249/mum-baby-foaming-mouth-stopped-breathing-two-hour-journey-car-seat-warns-parents/amp/

endofthelinefinally · 14/04/2018 11:07

Also, sitting in a car for a long journey in the 6 weeks post birth puts you at risk of deep vein thrombosis.
What if you end up with a c section?

Flomper · 14/04/2018 11:11

that is a totally insane idea, i think you're underestimating the impact of childbirth on your body. What if you have an EMC as others have said. Plan it for a week or too after the birth and factor in stoppi g every hour to get the baby out of the car seat, feed it, change your pad as you'll probably still be bleeding etc.

Littlejayx · 14/04/2018 11:13

Please don’t do this. A new born shouldn’t be in a car seat for longer than a hour. My drive was 45 mins long to get home and I made my other half stop twice

3luckystars · 14/04/2018 11:15

Maybe wait until the baby is born and decide then.

Almondsupreme · 14/04/2018 11:15

It's a very kind thought but a terrible idea in practice

NapQueen · 14/04/2018 11:17

You could he in labour for 36 hours. Have a csection. Have post birth bleeding. Your partner may well have been awake as long as you too.

Bad idea. Go home. Rest. Do a trip a week or two after if you feel up to it by then.

Original poster

Zcarter · 14/04/2018 11:21

ok so silly idea. in fairness it is only an hour and 20 mins away but with an hours stop factored in or if there is a crash on the motorway it will be way longer.

i think i was hoping for you all to tell me child birth isn't that bad you will be fine .....

I also know she will be on my partners case of when she can see the baby but he is quite good with his mum and will put me and the baby first. I suffer with anxiety and can be a people pleaser and he knows this so will do everything to look after me and put my needs first.

Thanks for taking the time to respond even it it was to tell me i am a complete idiot xxx

OP posts:

pastabest · 14/04/2018 11:23

I got transferred from hospital A (20 miles from home) to hospital B (40 miles from home) for some checks after my DD was born in hospital A. On my way home from Hospital B I had to stop at hospital A again for around 15 minutes to get an injection.

I had a quick, easy birth, in the middle of the day with minimal tearing and generally felt fairly good and positive about the whole thing.

But I just wanted to get home, I was tired, hungry (hospitals are awful at feeding you) and wanted to just not to have to make conversation with anyone for a bit but DP and have a cup of tea on my own sofa. Even just stopping en route on the way back for a short period of time felt like a huge effort and made me a bit tearful, and I'm someone who didn't even get the mandatory baby blues at day 3. The long journey home wasn't massively fun either with a very newborn in car seat.

It's a nice idea, but your DP is right.

Original poster

Zcarter · 14/04/2018 11:25

tbh i think that's why he was just like Zcarter your being mental its the worst idea we are going home and eating pizza and cuddling our newborn instead of making a 5 hr round trip to see my mum. Lets just get the baby home.

Actually putting it that way i think he has a point .... I hate it when hes right xx

OP posts:

Cornishclio · 14/04/2018 14:21

Yes it is a daft idea. Also won't your midwife be calling round later in the day when you are home? I think the general advice is not to leave a baby in a car seat for more than 40 minutes and you will be shattered and uncomfortable. What if baby needs feeding?

It is a shame your MIL is ill (hopefully nothing infectious) but you can FaceTime or Skype and go up in a few weeks time.

mummmy2017 · 14/04/2018 14:27

User your phone message them so they can talk... send them a phone with video on So you can chat and they can see you all.
If you let them know they are the first to see baby this way... it should help them.
Then go for a weekend when your feeling over the birth.... first day you will just want quiet time...

QueenAravisOfArchenland · 14/04/2018 14:32

Sorry, but as people have said it's an utterly ridiculous idea. Even if you have a straightforward birth and a healthy baby you will still be at risk of DVT and your baby of decreasing oxygen sats by doing a long unnecessary car journey. And emotionally, you will really really just want to get home.

mindutopia · 14/04/2018 14:37

Definitely no, we didn’t make a trip that long til our first was 6 weeks. Give yourself time to recover and get past the point of being completely overwhelmed and then decide when you feel ready. No one will implode if they don’t see baby right away. With our first, our parents didn’t meet her til 2 weeks (ILs) and 6 weeks old (mine) and it was fine.

mindutopia · 14/04/2018 14:41

I should add though, giving birth isn’t that bad (and I’ve had two totally natural births with no pain relief). It’s very manageable. But the aftermath is really overwhelming. That’s the hard bit. You’ll be bleeding a lot and emotional and exhausting and especially if you plan to bf, all your focus will be on that and your baby. It was hard to find time to shower and brush my teeth the first 3 weeks or so, let alone travelling and visiting with people.

Original poster

Zcarter · 14/04/2018 14:43

Yer I get it bad idea .... obvs would of stopped to feed baby I am not an idiot 😏😏 I just thought it would be nice for his mum.

We only ever go for a couple of hours maximum anyway rarther then the overnight or the whole weekend. It is only an hr and a bit away !!!!! It’s not like I was talking about Bristol to Edinburgh. Unfortunately can’t facetime or video call. But she can wait to meet the baby no big deal in the grand scene of things

OP posts:

Winifredgoose10 · 14/04/2018 14:44

When I had my first, my dad was dying and unable to travel. We went down to see him(70 miles each way) when the baby was three days. I was a total invalid before then. I remember still being uncomfortable when we went, but it was fine and I was so happy for my dad to meet my baby. Recovery is different for different people, so I would simply wait and see.

SoyDora · 14/04/2018 14:44

I had two straightforward births with gas and air, no stitches etc but even so, this really isn’t something I’d have wanted to do.
I laboured overnight with both so had had absolutely no sleep and was exhausted. I just wanted to get home and rest.
Not to mention the fact that you would have to factor 2-3 stops into that trip as newborns shouldn’t be in the car seat for more than 30 mins at a time.

M5tothesouthwest · 14/04/2018 14:53

I had a very easy labour & birth with DC2 and probably could have managed this if I'd had to, but would've found it tiring and would've needed a few stops en route to change pads at least once an hour (sorry if TMI but that's how it is!)

With DC1 - no way. I was shattered after 2 nights in hospital with no sleep, my bits were on fire and the drugs made me nauseous for a couple of days.

Baby needs feeding often and if you're breastfeeding, it can take a few days to get used to so you may find you need to find with boobs all over the place, squeezing your nipple to fit in tiny LO's mouth etc. Even on my second DC, I'd have not felt comfortable doing that in the motorway services / at MILs house.

Newborns really shouldn't be in a car seat much at all (20-30 mins tops). If you're likely to make this journey before the age of 6 weeks, you might want to look at the car seats that can lie flat as these are safer (from a breathing point of view) for tiny babies - there's a few on the market.

pastabest · 14/04/2018 20:15

...aaaaaaand if the OP wasn't already terrified of what the early newborn days might have in store for her, she is now

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