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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Contemplating not going to 12 week scan next week

70 replies

CathyandHeathcliff · 07/04/2018 12:13

Scan is on Wednesday morning at 9am. I already know they won't find a heartbeat.
I have very bad anxiety anyway and my levels are currently unmanageably through the roof.

I keep thinking I'll have a panic attack at the hospital.
People didn't used to have scans and they just waited to see what happened.

I know this all sounds crazy to most of you. But I can't help how I feel.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Addictedtohavingbabies · 08/04/2018 15:16

I really feel for you. Pregnancy is nerve wracking enough even without anxiety problems and before a scan is the worst time because nothing is for definite until you see that heartbeat on the screen.
There's nothing anyone can really say to make your feel better until you have that.
I was so nervous with my last pregnancy (4th). For some reason I was convinced something was wrong and can't really explain why. But everything was ok.
Of course it's your decision but I would encourage you to attend. If it's bad news, which is most likely isn't you're not going to find out sooner or later and you not seeing a scan won't change that.
If on the off chance there was a problem, you're taking care of your own health. Good luck.

Original poster

CathyandHeathcliff · 08/04/2018 15:17

I've found in most cases, if you're not suicidal or self harming (sorry if that's a trigger for anyone) they don't want to know. And the MH services are so stretched, I'm at the bottom of the pile because I can function 'normally'. Therefore I have to pay privately for a counseller.

OP posts:

NameChange30 · 08/04/2018 15:19

They do (usually) prioritise pregnant women and mothers of young babies, though, because they recognise that perinatal mental health is important. So you might find you can access support a bit more easily during this time.

Wolfiefan · 08/04/2018 15:23

It IS very severe. The way you're feeling about the scan and this pregnancy is not normal or healthy. If you're honest with a GP they can help. You may have to consider meds if you need them. You can't make yourself well through personal choice. And if nothing else works?

AmethystRaven · 08/04/2018 15:26

Its great that you've managed with counselling before, but very hopefully everything is fine and there will be a baby to care for as well as yourself soon. Of course it is your choice, but I'd not rule out anything that will put you in the best possible position to do this. If your medical team suggest meds it might be worth considering (I needed medication during pregnancy so understand)

Original poster

CathyandHeathcliff · 08/04/2018 15:33

I won't rule out meds, but I'm hoping I won't need them.

@Wolfiefan it's severe to me, yes. But not so much to them. I've been in there before in all sorts of states, hysterical about test results and telling them in tears that I have cancer and they've missed it etc.

OP posts:

Wolfiefan · 08/04/2018 15:38

You need to tell them how you feel. They will "miss it" if you go in talking about cancer. You need to go in and explain exactly how anxious etc you feel and specifically ask for treatment for that.
Good luck.

Feelings · 08/04/2018 15:55

Bless you, I had a MMC and I have health anxiety. I panicked and sobbed but in the end I had to get through it.
I genuinely feel for you. I've diagnosed myself with all sorts as well, it's never ending, it's honestly exhausting.

You just need to get through it, remember the breathe, you'll be ok.

usercantsleep · 08/04/2018 19:28

I would have to say that you're not "functioning" I'm afraid and would do everything at the moment in your power to go to gp and discuss meds. The way you're feeling about things is not normal and ruining any kind of enjoyment of life and pregnancy right now and must be having a huge impact on your partner

Original poster

CathyandHeathcliff · 08/04/2018 20:16

@usercantsleep I understand what you're saying but in medical eyes 'high functioning anxiety' literally means getting up everyday, having a wash, getting dressed, going to work, earring three meals a day and going to bed at a reasonable time. Having a 'routine'. It sounds pretty simple and normal, but this is what people with uncontrollable anxiety can't do.

I'm a mess inside, but on the outside, it looks like I'm coping. I even asked for an assessment to the psychology team a while back and the GP said to me "Well you look okay, you've done your hair and makeup, you're clearing looking after yourself, I don't think the psychology team will see you"

OP posts:

Original poster

CathyandHeathcliff · 08/04/2018 20:16

*eating

OP posts:

Original poster

CathyandHeathcliff · 08/04/2018 20:17

*clearly (damn iPhone)

OP posts:

usercantsleep · 08/04/2018 20:35

I am all of these things and more and I take some amazing meds! Changed my life massively

You've got a shit gp. Go to another one and fight your corner. It'll be worth it. X

Wolfiefan · 08/04/2018 20:40

You need to tell them you're not ok. They can't know what's going on in your head if you don't tell them.

vampirina · 08/04/2018 20:46

I agree with PP, don't rule out meds. Your anxiety pre pregnancy is one thing and you may well be able to manage that with alternative approaches. But the hormones in pregnancy can really turn things upside down, especially if you already have a predisposition for anxiety.

Without meds to treat my PND I don't like to think where I would be.

I had some prenatal depression in the first trimester that I guess was a sign of what was to come. Although it went away from around 13 weeks when the hormones calmed down. The scan was a really positive milestone and turning point for me. I would push yourself to go to the scan if you can and speak with your GP (or another better one!) about how you've been feeling.

user1482347790 · 08/04/2018 20:55

I’m so sorry you feel this way honey. I’ve been suffering anxiety through my pregnancy and know how tough it is. The thing with anxiety is that we always predict the worst, catastrophic outcome. It’s so important you speak to your doctor about this so you can get some support like therapy or even medication. Don’t suffer through this when you there’s support out there for you.
I was petrified they wouldn’t find a heart beat at 12 weeks but they did. It’s so common and normal to have these anxieties but you don’t have to go through it alone.
Perhaps if you go to the 12 week scan you might find out that your anxieties aren’t inevitable/true/factual, they’re just horrible anxious thoughts.
Good luck xxx

user1482347790 · 08/04/2018 20:58

Also if you’re in the UK your GP can refer you to a perinatal mental health service.

NameChange30 · 08/04/2018 21:01

I agree with the PPs who have suggested seeing a different GP. It’s frankly shocking that they dismissed you just because you were well presented

WhatsGoingOnEh · 11/04/2018 08:56

Good luck today, OP! You'll be great!

Please come back with an update. Thinking of you 😀

TwinkleStars15 · 11/04/2018 20:31

How did you get on today OP?

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