Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Drug testing during labour

48 replies

Rooroo1012 · 06/04/2018 21:00

My partner and I have just had our first midwife consultation and we have been honest with her reading my partner cannabis use.

I’ve been told today by a friend that the hospital can request my partner take a drug test upon arrival to the hospital while during labour, if he refuses he may not be allowed to be there for the birth.

Has anyone else heard of this and is it true?

OP posts:
KendalMintCakey · 06/04/2018 21:02

can you knock the jamaican woodbine on the head?

Rolypolybabies · 06/04/2018 21:06

I would be more concerned about raising a child with a drug user than what the hospital can do .

KendalMintCakey · 06/04/2018 21:09

I'd be more worried Social would see it as failure to protect and take baby off you

Mrsknackered · 06/04/2018 21:11

My partner used to ‘dabble in the wacky backy’ I got pregnant, he stopped. Surely it should always be this way. I wouldn’t of stayed with him if it continued, and he wasn’t even a big smoker.

It’s a horrible, horrible drug (unless controlled and used for medical purposes) it does awful things to people’s mental health.

Obviously from my own experience.

Original poster
Rooroo1012 · 06/04/2018 21:13

He’s works full time and provides but smokes two j’s in an evening, others have done far worse. Looking for some advice than hate. If I could knock it out of him I would. It’s a recent thing in the last 6 months, I’m at a loss. Even debating having supervised visits once baby is born. I’m totally against it and have been hoping he’d stop, even for our baby. He doesn’t smoke a lot but I know it’s not the point which is why I was honest with midwife in case it has had an effect on the baby.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rooroo1012 · 06/04/2018 21:15

@Mrsknackered I’ve asked him to stop but his attitude has changed in the last 6 months since starting it, he’s got so angry and even gave me an anxiety attack last night. I’ve ended our relationship but of course I astill want him at the birth and to be involved. He loves this baby to pieces and I thought that would be strong enough to stop. I’m at a loss and feeling so down about it all.

OP posts:
Lookatyourwatchnow · 06/04/2018 21:15

He honestly can't go one day without smoking it so as not to miss it he birth of his child?

Original poster
Rooroo1012 · 06/04/2018 21:17

I haven’t discussed it with him yet that he may be drug tested as I was only told this information this evening which is why I’m asking if anyone on here has heard of the same thing

OP posts:
MadameJosephine · 06/04/2018 21:17

I’ve never heard of partners being drug tested but I have known partners be removed from the hospital by security when they have been obviously under the influence

FissionChips · 06/04/2018 21:18

You sure his cannabis use isn’t down to underlying anxiety or something? If he gets help with the cause then the rest should follow.

Btw, 2 joints an evening is nothing really, is he taking soother drugs with it?

BifsWif · 06/04/2018 21:19

Well done for being honest with your midwife Roo.

Are you and baby’s dad together?

Original poster
Rooroo1012 · 06/04/2018 21:19

He doesn’t currently live with me, I’m in a very stable situation myself, I work full time, own my own home etc, we’re not married so see no reason for social to take baby as it will be in my care. At this rate I’m debating on leaving him of birth certificate to stop his equal rights. I know that sounds bad but what he’s doing is going to screw everything up.

OP posts:
BifsWif · 06/04/2018 21:20

And ignore the horrible comment about SW taking your baby away, that was ill informed and unnecessary.

Original poster
Rooroo1012 · 06/04/2018 21:23

@FissionChips we think he suffers from depression and has been on Prozac before, a lot of family issues from when he was young, a lot of abuse was involved. He’s only smoking the two joints. One when he’s home from work and one to help him sleep.

@BifsWif thanks,
I know it’s opened a can of worms but had to think of the baby. we’ve been together almost 5 years but after he gave me anxiety attack last night I’ve told him to stay away from my and get some help.

OP posts:
Bluebirdsky · 06/04/2018 21:23

I have never heard of partners being asked to take a drug test at the hospital, but you could check with your midwife if it is the policy where you are planning to deliver.
The main thing would be him being in a position to be there for you and support you once you go into labour, do you feel he would still be able to do that if he has had a smoke?
I know many men who like a drink refrain for a couple of weeks before the due date in case they have to drive to the hospital etc. Maybe you could talk to him about doing the same?

Lj8893 · 06/04/2018 21:25

No that's very unlikely. If he appears under the influence (of anything!) and becomes aggressive or inappropriate then yes he could be removed from the birth.

Known Heroin addicts have been present at their partners birth many a time!! So I don't think anybody is going to worry about a partner who may have had a joint that evening.

However, the advice given so far regarding parenting your child is very good. But it also seems that you are very on the ball about it all.

Original poster
Rooroo1012 · 06/04/2018 21:26

@Bluebirdsky personally I don’t think he would be able to deal with the birth of he’s had a smoke. Although he’s not getting completely stoned everyday I do think that it will definitely hinder his ability to be able to support me fully. Again I don’t know if he will stop a couple weeks prior to the due date. All things I need to talk to him about. All his friends smoke it as well so his clothes often stink of weed. It’s so strong at times that I believe the hospital would remove him just based on the smell!

OP posts:
DearMrDilkington · 06/04/2018 21:27

What did he do to cause you an anxiety attack? I've never heard of drug testing birthing partners before.

Littleredboat · 06/04/2018 21:27

I don’t know about hospital but I do know of cases where social services began child protection proceedings if a mother didn’t keep her child safe from a drug user.

He’s making his choices.
Now you have to make yours...

ShapelyBingoWing · 06/04/2018 21:27

It's quite depressing how little resource there is in social services to tackle the issue of parents smoking weed. Sadly, the money isn't there to follow absolutely everything up and the families who do get involvement usually have far greater issues than a bit of weed.

OP, I very much doubt that hospitals will even be set up to process drug samples for people who aren't patients. Where I'm usually placed (I'm a nursing student in paeds), if a parent turned up an absolute state and stank of weed or booze, we'd consider denying access if we thought they were a potential danger/distressor in some way but certainly wouldn't be able to try to enforce a drug test. Maybe there's a midwife around who can give you a better idea.

That said, if he can't keep away from it for a single day to make sure he's able to support you, he's the wrong person to be in that room with you anyway.

Original poster
Rooroo1012 · 06/04/2018 21:29

@Lj8893 thanks for that info.
I’ve alredy got a DS so I understand what needs to be done to ensure a safe arrival. I certainly don’t want to put our baby at risk because I didn’t tell the truth about the drug use. I just really hope he can get his act together. 6 months will fly by

OP posts:
Lj8893 · 06/04/2018 21:31

I personally wouldn't want somebody who was giving me anxiety attacks with me when I was giving birth anyway! I think it best you make plans for another birth partner in case he doesn't get his act together.

You need to keep yourself, your ds and your soon to be born child safe, That will be what SS are concerned about.

zaalitje · 06/04/2018 21:32

Possibly one of the worst things he can do if he has mental health issues is start indulging in weed. Even if it's only two joints a day.
There's numerous links between it and causing or triggering further problems. It also causes paranoia and lack of ability to concentrate.
It's a really dodgy path he's heading down.

slytherindungeon · 06/04/2018 21:33

Sounds like a keeper. You do realise that two joints a night isn’t a small amount? Never mind the mental health implications (which sounds like they aren’t being addressed now, aggression around a newborn?) but also an increase in respiratory disease and a financial burden too.

I would stop worrying about his being at the birth and more about the emotional and physcial well being of your child.

Original poster
Rooroo1012 · 06/04/2018 21:33

@DearMrDilkington a long story but basis of it is that he was in a terrible mood and I literally did nothing wrong but got the end of his wrath. I was on antidepressants for anxiety before the baby but came off cos of the pregnancy, It was my breaking point and he left me in such a state I almost passed out if it wasn’t for my neighbor passing by and rushing to help.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread