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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

I've requested an elective c section

56 replies

CathyandHeathcliff · 04/04/2018 22:04

Due to my overwhelming anxiety of giving birth and having implements inserted into me.

I have a long history of anxiety and depression and the midwife just wrote it on my birth notes and said it should be fine, but she'll check with the consultant...I thought I'd have a fight on my hands!

It's my first pregnancy and I made it clear to her I've done all my research and she seemed satisfied with that.

OP posts:
GreenTulips · 04/04/2018 22:06

It's not her decision

Snowjoker · 04/04/2018 22:09

What you want is to see a consultant and have the consent forms for the c section signed. How far on are you?
The midwife can’t give agreement/permission for this but it’s helpful that you didn’t have an argument from her.

Original poster
CathyandHeathcliff · 04/04/2018 22:12

Oh I didn't realise that. I just thought she'd be more trying to persuade me to have a vaginal birth or giving me the reasons why I shouldn't have a c section, so I see it as a positive step in the right direction.

OP posts:
Original poster
CathyandHeathcliff · 04/04/2018 22:13

I'm only 12+5 but she asked me at the booking appointment my ideal birthing scenario and I told her that's what I want.

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Original poster
CathyandHeathcliff · 04/04/2018 22:14

She's written it on my pink notes/booklet. C section in the birthing plan part, I just hope the consultant agrees.
I'm to be consultant led anyway due to my BMI and my mental health.

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Fevs · 04/04/2018 22:23

I too had overwhelming anxiety about giving birth with my first daughter 4 years ago. I had a phobia of hospitals, blood, needles and pain which nearly put me off getting pregnant in the first place! I was transferred to a consultant who said a c section would be an option for me if that was something I would like to go for but for me to try CBT sessions first whilst pregnancy to see if that would help.
It definitely did help so if you are offered the same I would go for it (or ask if it’s not automatically suggested). I then went on to deliver my daughter naturally and surprised myself with how much the CBT work, pregnancy Yoga and my own state of mind worked together in order for me to do it! Adrenaline kicks in and massively helps!
Ironically I had to have a c section with my second daughter last month due to her being breach and I actually preferred the natural option but that is of course down to personal experience and choice.
But don’t write the idea of a natural birth off just yet as there are options out there to support you through the journey. But it is definitely nice to know a c section is an option should you need it.
I hope whatever the outcome it all works out for you.

MazDazzle · 04/04/2018 22:24

Someone I know requested a section for the same reasons as you and got one without any issue. They explained to her the risks involved, but it was completely her own decision. She was surprised they were so supportive too.

I hope you get the birth you want OP Flowers.

I’ve had 3 sections - fire away if you have any questions!

TroubledLichen · 04/04/2018 22:26

Excellent news re the midwife but make sure you push for your consultant referral ASAP since they will have to sign off on the section. If your consultant isn’t happy with your request for any reason then remember you have the right to request another. Seeing a perinatal psychiatrist may also be part of the process. Good luck!

Original poster
CathyandHeathcliff · 04/04/2018 22:29

Thank you for all your kind words Flowers

Big babies run in my partner's family too. His nieces and nephews have all been born via c section due to being over 9lbs and his brother was almost 10lbs! His mum gave birth to him naturally in the 70s! When I said this to my midwife she said no need to think about that if you're having a c section.

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Original poster
CathyandHeathcliff · 04/04/2018 22:30

I'll be asking at my next midwife appointment for my consultant referral.

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Frazzled2207 · 05/04/2018 07:27

Good for you. I had the same conversation with the mw when pregnant with dc2- dc1s birth was v traumatic. I had a chat with a lovely consultant who was very helpful and unjudgemental and said it was up to me 100%. In the end I had a change of heart and had a vb however I was very grateful that I had been told it was up to me, I know many women haven't been so lucky.

FancyNewBeesly · 05/04/2018 08:13

I’m sorry to say it probably won’t be that easy.

I had horrendous tokophobia when I was pregnant due to previous gynae trauma. I was also having twins, so was seeing consultants regularly. My midwife who spent a lot of time with me was very supportive of me choosing a section, as was my specialist maternity counsellor. The consultants... not so much. I had to fight very hard and they refused to even discuss it until I was 28 weeks, which meant I spent the majority of my pregnancy in a state of dreadful anxiety. After a lot of pushing (my DH was invaluable as when they tried to fob me off he kept pinning them down as to what I needed to do to have it approved and why they couldn’t give me an answer) I got a call to book it in. Ended up having an emergency section earlier.

Definitely ask to see a consultant sooner rather than later so you can jump through any hoops they require. My local trust started giving out letters at booking saying they will not grant maternal request c sections which is hideous, and there’s been a lot of backlash. Have a look at the nice guidelines and be prepared for a bit of a fight.

FranticallyPeaceful · 05/04/2018 09:11

If you’re in the UK, most places will only give you a bit of resistance because if costs the NHS/tax payer a lot of unnecessary money so they’d rather it was used for emergency as intended. It has nothing to do with judging people or anything else. Some will just not bother at all and accept it. If a hospital gets a lot of c section demand they will be more reluctant to give you a free section for funsies

Snowjoker · 05/04/2018 09:12

I’m a total c section dan and didnt consider a vbac myself but I don’t think it’s the case that larger babies can’t be delivered vaginally - my siblings and I were all over 10 lbs and came out in the usual fashion. (Not saying that didn’t hurt, but all babies do given the size of the original hole!)

Snowjoker · 05/04/2018 09:14

Frantically did you mean to be such a twat? funsies???

FranticallyPeaceful · 05/04/2018 09:14

And my babies were all just shy of 10lbs and delivered “naturally” without pain relief. Nothing to be proud of, it happens all the time!
Hope you manage to get the birth you want, but don’t think you can’t do it

FranticallyPeaceful · 05/04/2018 09:18

@Snowjoker figure of speech.

It’s an expensive procedure ‘for the sake of it’, so of course NHS will be rightfully reluctant to not spend tax payer money on it without at least putting up some kind of resistance. She’s obviously just lucky they didn’t. I was explaining why some places put up a wall for it, so wind your neck in.

Redken24 · 05/04/2018 09:21

Congrats! Hope all goes well x

Snowjoker · 05/04/2018 09:27

No it’s a figure of speech used to make light of a poster’s concerns - did you read the OP? She isn’t wanting one for no reason. There is a cost involved but there can be costs down the line for the impact of vaginal delivery - prolapse surgery anyone? Or medication for the increased mental health issues the OP seems to be concerned about feeling if she has a vaginal delivery.
There are arguments to be made on both sides but your inability to take on a different point of view was made patently clear when you chose to type “funsies”.

FranticallyPeaceful · 05/04/2018 09:31

@Snowjoker weird, I don’t remember giving an argument on either side. All I remember doing was saying why hospitals are usually reluctant to give them... I also said she’s lucky and I hope she gets the birth she wants.

Honestly, do shut up. You obviously misread my post and you sound ridiculous.

zaalitje · 05/04/2018 09:41

frantically this
most places will only give you a bit of resistance because if costs the NHS/tax payer a lot of unnecessary money reads very much like an argument for one side.

And actually there is only a significant difference in cost if the labour and recovery are problem free, but the costs of repairing significant tear, or a prolapse after vb can make things more expensive than a cs.

Middleoftheroad · 05/04/2018 09:47

I was having twins and was terrified of a vaginal.birth, but consultant still wouldn't discuss it til much later 28weeks? When she discovered one was transverse so I needed section.

Original poster
CathyandHeathcliff · 05/04/2018 10:00

@FancyNewBeesly Thank you, sorry to hear you had a rough time of if. I will ask for a consultant referral at my next midwife appointment.

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FranticallyPeaceful · 05/04/2018 10:07

@zaalitje I’m not the NHS although am I? As far as I’m aware. And it’s just how it’s seen, whether you want to hear it or not

Snowjoker · 05/04/2018 10:08

Frantically, you were rude and dismissive of people requesting c sections by use of the word “funsies” and haven’t apologised for it. So not really much bothered if you think I am going on about it.
Sadly this kind of crap attitude is the reason many people keep quiet about the reason why they’ve had a section. Mothers are judged enough as it is.