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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

I've requested an elective c section

56 replies

CathyandHeathcliff · 04/04/2018 22:04

Due to my overwhelming anxiety of giving birth and having implements inserted into me.

I have a long history of anxiety and depression and the midwife just wrote it on my birth notes and said it should be fine, but she'll check with the consultant...I thought I'd have a fight on my hands!

It's my first pregnancy and I made it clear to her I've done all my research and she seemed satisfied with that.

OP posts:
Original poster
CathyandHeathcliff · 05/04/2018 10:08

@FranticallyPeaceful it's not because I cant do it due to physical reasons. It's mental reasons. I know if there is a traumatic birth, including instrumental intervention, my anxiety levels won't be able to be handle it. I know to others it sounds pathetic but to me it's very real. I want to be in the best possible state when the baby is born.

OP posts:
oldbirdy · 05/04/2018 10:17

It's unlikely to affect you, but if you are planning a large family be aware that repeated c sections are not without risk; specifically the risk of placenta accreta or percreta increases significantly. Percreta, in which the placenta grows through the uterus, is life threatening. My friend had percreta on her 5th c section, and a friend of a friend on her 3rd.

FranticallyPeaceful · 05/04/2018 10:39

@CathyandHeathcliff doesn’t sound pathetic at all. As I said, I hope you get the birth you want, many don’t!

@Snowjoker your responses to my post are just funny now. I have nothing against c section. I worked for the NHS, I am not the NHS, I’m just explaining how they see it. I have no ‘side’ to anything, I couldn’t give less of a shit how people choose to birth their babies - however this is a post on a public forum, and I made a comment about why the NHS are reluctant as the post was about how she expected some resistance... doesn’t that just make sense?
You just sound like you’re out for a fight, but considering I didn’t say what you think then I can’t give it to you... sorry about that. Maybe go for a walk.

Snowjoker · 05/04/2018 10:57

Gosh you're right you didn't use the word "funsies". Oh, except you did.

Original poster
CathyandHeathcliff · 05/04/2018 10:59

@oldbirdy it won't affect me, I only want one child

OP posts:
FancyNewBeesly · 05/04/2018 12:18

Amazing how physical risk factors are taken seriously enough but not mental ones, when birth trauma is one of the main contributing factors to PND and PNA.

ForeverHopeful21 · 05/04/2018 12:31

I'm usually the first to tell people to pipe down when they are being rude but I think @FranticallyPeaceful post has been taken completely the wrong way here. She is explaining why the NHS don't dish C-Sections out easily. I'm unsure why people are getting so offended by the facts?

OP I hope you get to have the birth you want and as others have suggested, speak to your consultant asap. I found that my midwife would say one thing and then other medical professionals would say another.

PixieN · 05/04/2018 12:40

I started a thread recently about asking for an elcs & I’m still ttc. There are a number of reasons (which I won’t go into) but the thought of a ‘natural’ birth scares the hell out of me & like you I only want one child (if i’m lucky enough to conceive.)

I saw my GP about it & he was very surprised. He said they’d be no chance of having an elcs on the NHS & I’d be lucky to find someone to do it privately. It made me really anxious & put me off ttc completely. I ended up seeing another GP at the same practice who listened to my fears & was more reassuring -I actually burst into tears in front of her Blush She said there would be options should I become pregnant & I’d have a choice. It seems to come down to which consultant & which hospital. I would recommend researching hospitals in your area just in case. The book ‘Choosing Cesarean’ by Magnus Murphy & Pauline McDonagh Hull is also useful if you want to be more informed about statistics, pros/cons etc. I found people to be really supportive on here & some messaged me about their own experiences which was really helpful. I hadn’t even thought that I could have tokophobia until someone suggested it. I just felt like I was being/feeling irrational as I didn’t know anyone else with these fears.

I really hope you are listened to & have the birth choice you want. Best of luck Flowers

Buddyelf · 05/04/2018 12:42

Op are you sure you have though this through properly (genuine question - not being goady). I have had both - an EMCS and then a vaginal birth and I would take a vaginal birth over a serious operation any day. I also suffer from anxiety so I know how bad it can be especially when it comes to having a baby but you mention 'having implements inserted into me' - my vaginal birth included no instruments but my section did. Lots of them. Plus 6 weeks recovery and everything else that comes with major surgery. What I am trying to say is, please consider this really carefully before you decide just yet.

windchimesabotage · 05/04/2018 12:45

You know that if the first consultant you see doesnt want to do it you can just keep asking for another one until you find one who will?

I mean hopefully the first consultant would do it, I dont see why not given your reasons.

You can choose which hospital to give birth in and which consultant to use within the NHS. Most people dont realise that. You do not have to accept care from the nearest hospital if they are not offering what you want... you can use any within a reasonable distance of you to give birth in.

windchimesabotage · 05/04/2018 12:49

*i phrased that badly. I mean you do have to actually pick one before you give birth you cant just rock up anywhere. (unless theres some sort of emergency situation) But you do have some choice over it.
I did not realise that with my first pregnancy. Hospitals can often offer different things to each other and consultants all have differing outlooks. So dont get disheartened at the first 'no' if you get one. If a section is really what you want and you are clear on your reasons it is possible to find people who agree with you.

rach01pink · 05/04/2018 12:53

Rather than research online about elective c sections make sure you speak to women who have actually had them so that you are fully informed. My 1st was born by emergency c section which was easy as I was asleep... Recovery not too bad. My twins were born by elective and I presumed it would be the same but it wasn't. I'm sorry to say an elective is scary and not nice at all imo... Not trying to scare you but all my friends have had vaginal births and some of them very quick and lovely experiences... You say don't like the thought of implements being used on you... Often with a vaginal there are none.. With a c section there are a lot for sure

MilkyCoffeeAndSkinnySyrup · 05/04/2018 12:57

Do you have any idea about the implications that cesarean sections can bring?! Also, you have to meet certain criteria's before you're eligible to have a c section. I had to have it because 1) I had uterine surgery a few years ago and there's a likelihood I can rupture if I give birth naturally and 2) my DS was fully breech position.

StatisticallyChallenged · 05/04/2018 12:58

I'll contrast the poster above and say I didn't find my elective c-section scary or unpleasant at all - I felt very safe, comfortable and well looked after the whole time and my recovery was great. I've just requested another for my second pregnancy.

Sushirolls · 05/04/2018 13:44

My DD may be going down the ELCS route, but with GA. She's unable to have an epidural or spinal block due to medical reasons, she's also extremely needle phobic so induction/a drip to speed up the process wouldn't happen.

Good luck OP Flowers

Original poster
CathyandHeathcliff · 05/04/2018 13:48

@Buddyelf and @rach01pink I know they use instruments inside for a c section, but it's not that that's the issue for me, it's going inside my vagina with them to pull the baby out. I haven't even had a smear test because I'm too scared of objects being inserted into me. Now under epidural and going into my uterus externally doesn't make me as anxious. I don't particularly want an op either but it's got to come out somehow!

Can I ask why yours wasn't a good experience @rach01pink? Because most women I've spoken to who've had ELCS found it a lovely, calm and relaxing experience. Opposed to an EMCS which is the opposite.

OP posts:
Original poster
CathyandHeathcliff · 05/04/2018 13:54

@MilkyCoffeeAndSkinnySyrup I am very aware, I'm also aware of the implications and complications of a vagibal birth and I know which one I would choose. I've done all the research and I am fully informed.
I realise there are many women who would have fought tooth and nail to give birth vaginally and when their baby was breech or other complications arose, they couldn't, they probably felt very disappointed.
We all have our different opinions and experiences and I know for me, a vaginally birth is not the way forward.

OP posts:
SiolGhoraidh · 05/04/2018 13:55

@CathyandHeathcliff
Are you also getting appropriate mental health support and input during pregnancy?
I requested pregnancy-focused CBT pretty much the day I tested positive to help me deal with some of my big fears around pregnancy and childbirth, and it has really helped (I'm 17 weeks now). I definitely shared a lot of your anxieties, but they have reduced somewhat now, so I can begin considering the idea of a vaginal birth.

I don't suggest that in the hope you'll change your mind, btw - I totally support your right to ask for an ELCS. I just wonder from my own experience if some targeted work may help your anxiety levels overall.
It might also help if health professionals are awkward about your request, and you experience periods of uncertainty while waiting for it to be agreed.

Movablefeast · 05/04/2018 13:59

My mum had my brother and I by C-section. I am 5' 5" and a small build and my husband is over 6'. All our babies were big, 1st was almost 9lbs, 2nd almost 10lb and my son was almost 11lb! I had them all naturally and I have not suffered any birth injuries. Your body can do more than you realise. You may want to try the other options to treat your fear and anxiety first before you make a final decision as a C-section is major surgery.

YouCantBeSirius · 05/04/2018 14:05

I had no resistance when I requested an elective cesarean during my first and current pregnancies. Both times I've been referred straight away to a consultant and had the operation signed off at 16 weeks. I have similar reasons to you as well OP.

rach01pink · 05/04/2018 14:06

It's tricky because I don't want to scare you.. Its just my personal experience. With my emergency I was on an epi so had no pain at all then i was put under which took seconds so no time to panic at all... Then I woke up and there was a baby! No pain until the next day. However with the elective I worried about it every day up to it, you have to fast and then go into the ward hungry and everyone is having their breakfast then they shave you and there is lots of waiting round ( worry time) and then they have to put lines in your hand which isn't nice then the room had about 30 people in it and even though you can't feel pain it is uncomfortable and whilst you cant see, you can feel and know what is happening... Then when babies are out the clean out begins which hurts... A lot. It seemed to last for ages... I was in pain after straight away.. Recovery was long and painful... 4 days in hospital when my friend who gave birth naturally was home for supper the same day as she gave birth! Lots of pain meds needed and 5 months on I still feel affected by it. I feel like the drug is still in my system and I have pains in my neck and back from the spinal which I never had from the epi and emergency. A spinal is different from an epi. I was offered a vbac and I wish I had been braver and tried it! Xx

YouCantBeSirius · 05/04/2018 14:07

I also recovered very well from my first cesarean. Was up and about a few hours after surgery, out of hospital the next day with very little pain. Felt back to normal within 2 weeks really. I appreciate that it's not like this for everyone and that I may well have a very different experience for my next cesarean.

betterbemoreorganised · 05/04/2018 14:13

I hope you can have an elcs. I gave birth last year and had a emcs after a week of labour. If I have another I'll fight for an elcs, I know I'll be terrified when it's happening ( I was totally out of for my emcs with the exhaustion and drugs) but I'll be brave and get on with it because the recovery will be much better. It was the length of labour with sleep or food that took the recovering from rather than the cs. I was driving after two weeks and just avoided lifting and tight clothing for a few months. Mentally I think an elcs would be easier as well as the actual labour was on replay for a few months which wasn't great.

Sushirolls · 05/04/2018 14:14

Sorry to jump in, but @SiolGhoraidh can I ask how long it took for
CBT please? My DD is extremely needle phobic & has tried desensitisation therapy which wasn't successful. We did ask the consultant about trying it again or CBT & I don't think it's going to be forthcoming. My DD has a mw appt next week and she is lovely, so we will ask again.

@CathyandHeathcliff I forgot to say in my previous post, I had my youngest (4th baby) by ELCS and it went smoothly. I think it's very much "how long is a piece of string" - for some it will be the best experience ever, for others, the worst x

SiolGhoraidh · 06/04/2018 13:04

@Sushirolls I made the referral via the gp the day after I tested positive, got a call back the next day and first appointment the following week. It's all happened through my gp though, not maternity services.
I also have a history of using mental health services, so that may have helped me be seen quicker. Either way, it's helped massively