Wedding attendance...

[Roquella]

Due to go to a very close friend's wedding tomorrow. I'm currently off work with sickness and nausea. The sickness is a lot better since I was put on medication however the nausea is still quite awful.

I know I'll have to sit out the ceremony if I wake up and am having a bad day, which is fine. I also know that at the reception if I have to run off and be sick I can do!

My issue is, I'm off work currently until at least the end of this week. Is it acceptable for me to attend a wedding reception and not be at work? I have two nights booked in a hotel which I cannot refund, have bought my dress and shoes, and feel like 3 hours at a wedding reception to show my face is a lot easier than an 8 hour day at work...

Thoughts? Last thing I want is to be in trouble with the boss...

Is your boss going to be at the wedding?

Also, are you contagious? I. E. Are you likely to make the other wedding guest sick?

I'm guessing it's morning sickness/hyperemesis 2cats as it's the pregnancy board.

I'd say it's fine as long as no work colleagues are there and you avoid any social media - not that you should have to, but it avoids giving the wrong impression

@2cats2many sorry I should've been clearer. It's not hyperemesis but it is pregnancy related and controlled via medication. My boss won't be there, no and I'm definitely not contagious!

@Scribblegirl thanks for your answer - no work colleagues and I don't have any of them on any social media! Though I am unlikely to post anything anyway as I don't use very often...

In that case, how will your boss know?

in your shoes, I would go to the wedding if I felt physically able to. It's reasonable to feel able to attend that, with all the provisos you've put in place, but not to feel able go to work, concentrate, be under pressure, etc.

@2cats2many I had leave booked initially and she knew it was for a wedding, so if she asks, I will not lie about it if course. I genuinely do not feel well enough to work and am completely exhausted but feel that sitting down at a wedding chatting for a few hours can't be compared to sitting at a desk dealing with a case-load. Just wasn't sure what was acceptable or not!

Yes work and wedding not comparable try and go and enjoy the hotel and what you can manage of the wedding.

I think it’s taking the piss. I’d be pretty annoyed if one of my colleagues was off sick with a physical illness then I found out they were at a wedding. It wouldn’t go down well at all where I work and I’ve seen people disciplined for it.

Thanks @Zeze247 - maybe I'm a little paranoid. I only work in an office job. I wouldn't bat an eyelid if someone went to a wedding whilst off sick, but that's me and I like to think I'm a rational person. Same can't be said for everyone!

Thanks

Hi @welshweasel and thanks for your answer. For me, the difference is that if I am at the wedding, I can nip upstairs to my room if I am feeling unwell and head straight to sleep. Close friends with the bride so she would understand. If I'm at work I have a case-load to look at for 8 hours and a 1.5 hour commute either way. Just seemed a little different, but I understand your response (hence why I asked this question!)

I really struggled when signed off with depression and anxiety as I felt if I was sick enough to be signed off work I shouldn't be able to leave the house, do anything - otherwise I should be at work. My doctor had stern words when she found out (as isolating yourself at home is not the ideal way to treat depression!). Her words have really stuck with me - not fit to work does not mean not fit to do anything. I'm having the same kind of pregnancy sickness as you describe now OP and am signed off again. I still find it difficult to go out occasionally, as though I should be on my death bed at all times to justify the sick note, but I keep remembering that phrase.

Thanks @BossWitch - I haven't been out at all in the past couple of weeks. I missed FILs birthday, missed Easter weekend with my family, and felt awful at the idea of missing this wedding. I'm so torn!

@BossWitch - also, I hope you feel better soon. Fingers and toes crossed for you

Did you book time off for the wedding? If so its perfectly acceptable to say you felt better and went to it.

@LaurG I did yes. I had tomorrow and Friday booked as annual leave!

@Roquella

Sorry I didn't read that properly! Honestly, its fine to go. Just look after yourself and take it easy. You might as well have some fun on what I can imagine has been a difficult week.

Definitely fine to go, it's very different to being at work all day!

@LaurG no need to apologise

To be honest I'm not even sure it'll be fun and I'm going to leave fairly early, however would feel awful if I missed it. It's not ever day you get to watch your friend getting married! I don't take the piss at work and have never had time off unless truly unwell.

Hopefully all will be ok...

Thanks @WineAndTiramisu - can't get this horrid feeling out of the back of my mind that I will end up walking back in to a shit storm at work!

If you’ve already booked it as leave I cannot see the problem. If you'd called in sick to go to a wedding then that wouldn’t be ok, but as you’ve booked it off I honestly don’t get why you are feeling so torn about it. Hopefully you will feel ok for enough of the day to enjoy your friend’s wedding :)

Thanks @Kintan - no I certainly wouldn't dream of doing that! I have been off sick since Tuesday last week. I suffer from an anxiety disorder which I am no longer taking medication for due to pregnancy, I think this makes me feel a whole heap worse!

Sorry to hear about your anxiety, it must be really hard to have to come
off the meds - but I think you are overthinking this and it is totally fine for you to go :)

PS if you are still worried and want to make sure everything is above board maybe mention to your work that you want the days you are at the wedding to be taken from your annual leave allowance and not to count

Sorry posted early - last bit was meant to say and not count as sick leave..

Thanks @Kintan !