Wedding attendance...

[Roquella]

Due to go to a very close friend's wedding tomorrow. I'm currently off work with sickness and nausea. The sickness is a lot better since I was put on medication however the nausea is still quite awful.

I know I'll have to sit out the ceremony if I wake up and am having a bad day, which is fine. I also know that at the reception if I have to run off and be sick I can do!

My issue is, I'm off work currently until at least the end of this week. Is it acceptable for me to attend a wedding reception and not be at work? I have two nights booked in a hotel which I cannot refund, have bought my dress and shoes, and feel like 3 hours at a wedding reception to show my face is a lot easier than an 8 hour day at work...

Thoughts? Last thing I want is to be in trouble with the boss...

@Kintan - also you're right about it being hard with the anxiety. Very stressful but was much more confident not being on medication as it isn't advisable

You can’t take annual leave whilst off sick. If you have pre booked annual leave you will get those days back to take at another time. If you have recovered enough that you’d be at work on the day of the wedding then it’s fine to end your sick leave, use annual leave for the wedding then go back to work the day after/whenever you’d be due in next.

It is not the same as being off work with mental health problems. In those cases I can see how attending social functions, holidays etc can be beneficial to improving health and getting back to work. The same cannot be said for going to a wedding when off work because you feel sick/are being sick.

Hi @welshweasel - thanks for your response. I understand the point you make, which is why I was concerned.

I am genuinely not well enough to work, as I am often running to the toilet to be sick 3/4 times a day. I'm unbelievably tired and with travel, my working day is 11 hours plus. I'm only going to be at this wedding for a max of 4 hours and can leave to sleep whenever I want. I'm also being driven there by my partner so will be able to sleep in the car. Whilst it sounds like I'm simply trying to justify my actions, I am also trying to weigh up whether going to a wedding for a short time is really the same as being at work for a long period of time and dealing with the responsibilities that come with it.

Thanks for your response however and I appreciate your concerns.

It doesn’t seem appropriate to attend a social function during sick leave. I’ve spent my whole career in HR and in my experience this would be a clear disciplinary case for malingering if found out. Hope you’re better soon

I was signed off with hg and would have gone. I couldn’t work as I drive in my job and kept being sick on myself on the motorway and couldn’t concentrate in meetings as I was concentrating on not being sick.

Why 2 threads?

@WheresTheEvidence if you read the second thread it explains at the beginning why. I posted in AIBU as I know you get very honest advice there and regretted not posting it there initially

Thanks all for your responses. I'm not the type to just go and lie about it or not mention it to my manager. I like to think that integrity is a strong point of mine.

I bit the bullet and phoned my manager. I probably should have done this in the first place. Long story short, I work in law enforcement which is currently office based due to pregnancy. I deal with live work and cannot make a mistake as it can lead to injury or loss of life.

My manager had told me to go to the wedding and take it as sick. She stated that she suffered from morning sickness in both of her pregnancies and on good days could've attended a wedding but not this job. She needs her staff to be alert but also doesn't want me to end up a hermit like she did.

She's consulted HR who agree.

Thanks again for all of your responses. Looks like I have very nice management!