Worried the genders wrong

[Jords0105]

Hi guys we went private and found the gender out yesterday but we left it a surprise to find out with my family so we didn't see the genitals on the scan. What would you say the gender was from these pictures?

*stating, not saying.

Also I identify as a women as my gender.
I have been socialised as a little girl like a girl to do more female dominated activities. To behave more stereotypically like a women.
I’m proud to be one and there is nothing wrong with this.
I will socialise my children the same way and would only change if they told me they felt their gender was different to that of their biological sex.

It’s wrong. You may intend to do that but at a scan the sonographer ris telling you the sex of the baby.

And what does dressing a baby as a gender mean? In nappies- both sexes. trousers- both sexes. Socks- both sexes. Skirts- meh? Some kids like to wear skirts, boy or girl. It has no bearing on their sex. Plenty of women wear clothes considered ‘male gendered’ and some men wear clothes considered if the ‘female gender’. It doesn’t alter their biological sex which is what is identified during a pregnancy scan.

BUT what does that mean? If your daughter says she wants to never wear a dress and likes footie then she’s a boy? Bollocks. She’s be a girl who likes trousers and football.

The idea of female dominated activities is so sad. An ideal
World would be one in which any activity would be one a person of any sex could engage in without any raised eyebrows and any calls for them to ‘identify’ as another sex.

You can’t have a gender different to that of your biological sex! It’s a social Construct. Anyone can like and do anything regardless of some stupid unwritten rules, steeped in patriarchal oppression telling them otherwise.

Yes vodka gender social construxt.
So if in future I have a daughter and she wants to play football no she won’t be a boy.
She will probably be on the women’s local football team along with my aunt.
But if for instance she wants to carry a baby, to become a mother, to get married and be someone’s wife. These are things associated with the social construct of female gender.

Having a baby is a social construct? Or completely and utterly a biological process. Probably the second.

A man can get married too. He’ll be a husband but other than that, it’s not something only a woman can do.

I’m pregnant at the moment.
If I find out this baby is a girl I will have every reason to expect a daughter for the rest of my life.
Like I expect my ds is my son for the rest of his life.
I expect that until they are old enough to decide otherwise, I will be able to pick clothes to dress them in that are for boys and girls.
I would encourage my son to go to scouts and boys clubs. Because he is a boy, his gender is a boy.
I would encourage my daughter to go to brownies.
Social constructive settings separate for girls and boys.
I will bond to them as gender of male or female.
It’s really not that unusual.

I find it a tad odd you would dress a child in ‘gender neutral’.
Until my dc are old enough to tell me otherwise I will treat their gender as their biological sex, and certain things (like boys only clubs) will obviously be specific to heir gender.

Dressing your children in clothes and giving them toys you deem suitable for that sex or ‘gender’ because ‘that’s what boys/girls wear and that’s what boys/ girls do’ is limiting. You’d be forcing socially constructed ideas of what a person can do based on their sex. Limiting them.

Of course a man can get married. But he wouldn’t call himself a wife would he?
Like a little girl would go to brownies not scouts.
Like a woman might go to the women’s only swim night.
Like a teenage boy might do a youth programme for males.

No not limiting them at all. When they are old enough to tell me otherwise they can choose.
There’s millions of other parents who agree with me, which is why most children’s clothes are gender specific.
If you wouldn’t want the joy of finding out you were having a little boy, and swooning over boys clothes until he is old enough to choose his own then get on with it.
But don’t tell other mothers they can’t be excited about their child’s gender.

SO a woman who doesn’t choose to do those things isn’t of the female gender?

Depends what the things are the person chooses to do and how they identify.
I’d say if you get married and call yourself a husband, your probably of the frame of mind that a man is what you want to be tbh.

Man/identity as male gender

It’s not gender though, it’s sex! I didn’t dress my children gender neutral. I dressed them in clothes I liked and, now they’re a bit older, they choose clothes they like. I don’t assume what they wear or do, whether I choose it or not makes them any more male or female than heir genitals already do. Crack on with that if you like but social contradicts don’t trump science.

I get what you’re saying. Someone might hear ‘boy’ and think, ‘Ooo, cute trousers, mini bowties for weddings, cars, short hair, handsome’ etc and that’s not their gender. That’s ideas about what a person may want to make a male person wear or do or be but it’s not who they are or ultimately what they’ll be. Sex though, male or female, is an accurate statement of what is observed in the womb. Attach what ideas you want to the words make and female but it’s swxnyoire talking about, not gender. Or you’re saying a boy in a dress isn’t male or a girl in blue rather than pink isn’t female if you’re so adamant that the opposites of hose statements are so tied to gender.

Syxnoire?! That should be ‘not what you’re’

Or you say you’re a man because you are physically a man and you happen to be the male part of a partnership doing exactly the same thing.

So first names of either gender are social constructs. I.e it would be out of normal social parameters in the uk to name a baby boy emma or Jessica.
So by your standard you wouldn’t name your child of a certain biological sex a name of that gender. So your children have gender neutral names am I correct?
If you gave them a name associated with a certain gender, then that would be limiting them wouldn’t it and it would lead people to make assumptions about their gender?

My ds has had many choices made by me that associate to the male gender, his clothes, his name, when we are swimming as a family he likes to be in male changing room with daddy because he’s ‘a big boy’.
He will be encouraged to attend scouts and boys clubs, as well as activities with mixed genders.

If he grows up and tells me he isn’t male gender, he wants to call himself Jessica, get married and call himself a wife and be a mummy, and stop participating Gender specific groups/activities then he can do as he pleases. But these aren’t decisions I would make for him.
Neither would I dress him in neutral or girls and boys clothes until he is old enough to decide.

If you decisions around the socialisation of your child and gender are different to mine, then fair enough I wouldn’t knock you for it.
But it is not wrong to bring your child up as a certain gender.

I don’t bring my children up gender neutral. Haven’t once said I do. We live in a gendered world. I can’t pretend we don’t. I can try to not impose ideas of what being a male is on them though, because that would be limiting. I don’t stop them or discourage them from doing anything. They will probably never say they want to be ‘the opposite gender’ because they will always know they can be whatever or whoever they want to be regardless of their genitals. Why would my son want to be a wife rather that a husband or a mother rather than a father when, apart from biological differences to do with biological sex they don’t see much difference in he type of people their parents are. The only things I can do that my husband can’t are something boys will never be able to do, carry, birth and breastfeed a baby.

I make a very clear distinction between sex and gender. At birth, a child is of the male or female sex. What parents choose to do with that information is up to them but at a pregnancy scan, when told by a sonographer what sex your baby is they are telling you the sex not the gender. There’s no two ways about it. Use the wrong word if you will, try and justify it but you can’t argue with actual fact. You may impose ideas relating to a particular gender on your child, we probably all do unwittingly or not but the statement of my baby will be a boy or will a girl relates to sex.

associating a gender to your unborn child starts immediately when you imagine a girl or boy and what name you would give them if it is a gender specific name.
If a pregnant woman intends to bring her baby up including ways the are associated with a certain gender, I.e a male or female name and anything thereafter, then it is perfectly ok for her to refer to the babies gender in my book.
I think to say otherwise is hairsplitting about the definition of words, patronising to her and her views, and unkind.

1: OP congratulations, I believe you are having a boy!

2: those who are commenting so negatively and actually quite cruelly, I hope you are ashamed of yourself! You are being vile on a thread about an unborn child! Quite shocking really! I wouldn't expect that from my own DDs!