I want a early scan... dh is saying no

[Mum8515]

So I'm 6w & want a early scan but dh is saying to wait until our 12week scan.

To listen to him or book a scan anyway?

Any recommendations for early scans in London?

Have you asked him what his reasons are for wanting to wait until 12weeks?
I projected about the money. Babies are expensive and for me a spare £50-£100 would always come in useful when the baby arrives, maternity pay is running low etc...

He says he doesn't see a point as you don't see much except a little bean, plus you won't be able to wait for the 12wk scan then because you will be too excited
How he worked that out I don't know

The point is that you will feel reassured and less stressed.
It will only be a little errrrmmm shape but I saw that little heartbeat pulsing away x

We went to the fetal medicine centre in Harley Street and paid £100. Definitely worth it to hear the heartbeat and give us something to get excited about before telling our family.

Currently up feeding that little bean - it goes so quickly!

One of the most special and exciting things ive ever seen was my oldest childs heartbeat at 6 weeks.

I had one at 7w because I conceived using clomid. 2 weeks later I was crying because of anxiety thinking I had lost the baby. We went for an extra scan at 9w where everything was fine. My dh is not that he was against it, it’s that he didn’t see the point as he “knew” everything goes ok. I’ve had this scary feeling another few times where I’ve gone for private scans (19 and 25w). He’s always told me we could go if that would reassure me but he didn’t see the point like yours. Everything private scans have done have been reassured me for 5 mins and then forget the rest of the time.

Be ready that around 6-7w you might not be able to see anything and need to go back 2 weeks later.

I don’t see it as “my body we do what I want” if baby was in his body and and I was suffering from anxiety so badly we’d have gone as well. I don’t like that sentence when the baby belongs to both of us and not just me so decisions should be taken between the both of us , but this is not quite a MN-friendly approach.

It's not really a reality friendly approach a lot of the time, given that if there are two people in a decision making process and they disagree, one of them is going to have the casting vote and the other will be shit out of luck. Both partners getting a say, being involved in the decision process or whatever, sounds all nicey nice if you like that kind of thing. But it's ultimately just dressing up the reality that there are a lot of binary decisions to be made here.

Anyway OP if he doesn't see the point in it that's fine, he doesn't have to. There's no reason for that to have any bearing on whether you do, though.

PaulDacreRimsGeese How do you navigate your relationship with that sort of attitude to compromise?

For a start, I do it by not being stupid enough to pretend that all issues in a relationship are binary issues relating to bodily autonomy that aren't capable of being compromised on if there's disagreement, and then go from there.

Ah, righto. Great insight.

Yes, it's absolutely superb.

I would agree with your husband. Mainly because i think scans before 12 weeks can give false reassurance. Something can still go wrong before 12 weeks and if it's going to happen you can't really do anything to prevent it.

I had an early scan (NHS, for medical reasons) one at 6 weeks and then again at 8 weeks.

It was so reassuring! And really helped us believe it as it had seemed so surreal until then.

I paid for an early scan at 10 weeks with my second as my first scan wasnt booked in until at 13 weeks (hospital running late!) and I just couldn’t wait a minute longer!!

Do it! Explain to your DH how important this is to you. It’s your body and you want to know what’s going on in there!

There are usually some deals around. Check groupon! I only paid £45 as my local clinic was doing an offer! But most are no more than £100. Worth it for reassurance imo.

I had one in my first pregnancy as I wasn’t sure of my dates, glad I did as I was 2 weeks further on than I thought. It was also reassuring as I didn’t feel pregnant at all.
I said I’d wait until 12 weeks in future but I had a mc last year so I feel the need to have one again this time. I’ve waited until 8+3 though as I didn’t want the uncertainty of being too early. I did tell my DH that I’d be having one regardless of what he thought though as I just wouldn’t be able to wait until 12 weeks.

The thing I found reassuring was doing the Panorama test at 9 weeks (that's the earliest you can do it). I'd recommend that if you're well off.

An early scan in itself doesn't mean all that much - you have a better chance of getting to 12 weeks and beyond if it's all good but things happen in the first trimester.

Was just looking into booking the early scan for 2-3weeks time.
How does this look? Seems quiet cheap to me so as I was expecting it to be about £70+
Can't really go wrong with this I guess at this price.... any suggestions? Also got sent a voucher code yesterday which works and brings it down to £33

Not being harsh but it will only reassure that you are pregnant. Not a guarantee of anything except that all is well at that time.

April that's what I want really as I don't feel pregnant like I did with my first. I know all pregnancies are different but I just need the reassurance I guess x

Has the advice on scans changed in last 10 years? Then we were told to minimise the number of scans to medical need only as there are (small) risks associated with scans. I didn’t know people could book scans for reassurance now.

Sorry that was a cross post - are you really worried that something is wrong, what’s happened to make you think that?

Groupon! Who knew!

OP has had some bleeding which puts the need for a scan into a different category surely. I thought a scan was needed with bleeding to rule out an ectopic pg? That might not be current advice though.

I had a scan at 7w, 10w having one today a12w and a nhs on at on Tuesday.

7 weeks was nhs early pregnancy scan,
10 & 12 (today) are private scans, 10 weeks was DH birthday and today just so we can share our news at Easter.
Tuesday will be 12w5d and that’s our official 12wk hospital scan.

I also have a private one booked for 16 weeks for gender results.

If you can afford and want private scans do it! Your husband can support you. Most private places don’t scan until 8 weeks though x

It's all booked 22/04 will be 9w 1d... can't wait! Will be a long 3weeks to wait but better than 5-6week wait for a 12week scan.