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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Do you seriously have to drag a whole family for scan?

69 replies

Maja123 · 14/03/2018 10:05

Hi
I am pregnant and it’s always surprised me how often I see woman bringing all members of family for a scan. I took mine just for 20 weeks one to find out sex but why take them every single time? And I see the same women every time I am at hospital with their husbands, mothers, dads and siblings. Seriously? I understand that’s in some cases when pregnancy is in risk you don’t want to be alone but most of the time it’s just like being a small girl needed help all the time. (P.S I am not jealous I would hate idea to drag everyone with me).

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Tralalee · 14/03/2018 11:07

I've had my fair share of problems. It doesn't mean I have to have my whole family there.

caseymoo · 14/03/2018 11:07

In my local hospital they are very strict on allowing only 1 adult accompanying you. No children in the room and no children under 14 left in the waiting room either.
Privately I think you can take more but I'm not 100% on the amount

INeedNewShoes · 14/03/2018 11:08

And you are making assumptions meme. I bet a lot of the women commenting here will have had losses. I for one had three miscarriages before carrying a baby to term. The last thing I'd personally want if I got bad news at a scan is a massive audience of umpteen family that I'd brought to the scan.

This is a medical appointment we're talking about, being provided by the NHS, for the health of mother and baby. It's not a day out for the family.

And actually it does effect others when one family is taking up so many seats that there aren't enough seats for the patients themselves.

Coconutspongexo · 14/03/2018 11:16

Meme70 sorry but I’ve worked in IVF for a few years - doing investigations and first/early scans - you still wouldn’t be able to bring your entire family to the scans!

If people want to take lots of people pay for a private scan - these scans are for medical purposes even the 20 week scans which are the anomaly scans not friggin gender scans which they’re often referred to as on here!

Buxbaum · 14/03/2018 11:17

The purpose of your 20 week scan wasn't to find out the sex - it was to conduct a detailed assessment of any potential anomalies with your baby which, if found, could have led to some really heartbreaking decisions. It's pretty inappropriate to take wider family to that, too.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 14/03/2018 11:21

It affects other people if the extra family are taking up seats in the waiting area.
It's up to sonographer how many people are allowed in the scan room.

But what about a "2 seats per scan" rule ?

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 14/03/2018 11:28

I always wonder the same when you see families with several children in the supermarket with both parents, filling up the space and swinging off shelves. I can’t think of anything worse when there are 2 parents available, but it’s obviously considered a good day out for some families. Ditto medical appointments I guess. Not worth wasting brain space over.

Whycantithinkofaname · 14/03/2018 11:31

I post about this all the time when one of these threads come up but anyway....

My mum works on the reception of the ultrasound department. This happens all the time pregnant women turning up with their family in tow, letting their kids run riot etc. Many times my mum has had to ask these family members to get up and give a heavily pregnant patient a seat. Quite often she is left looking after the children when the parents have to be taken into the bereavement room.

So many bloody women turning up with all the family to find out the sex of the baby and then kick off when they're not allowed in the room. The purpose of this scan is not to find out the sex of your baby it's to make sure everything is as it should be and that there are no abnormalities. And while I'm on that subject it has been know for a termination to be booked after the scan when they baby isn't the sex they wanted . I only know this last part as when I was due for my scan with my first baby my mum warned me they might not tell me and this is why.

Book a private scan if you want all your family to be there.

TookyClothespin · 14/03/2018 11:32

I had DH & DD1 at all bar the 12 week scan. I had a high risk pregnancy so DH wanted to be at every appointment and we had no childcare for DD1 except for the first scan. When you live far away from family it's not easy to find childcare for a couple of hours in the middle of the day.

custardcream1988 · 14/03/2018 11:38

I took mine just for 20 weeks one to find out sex but why take them every single time?

The 20 week scan is not a sexing scan. It is an anomaly (and very important) scan to examine the baby for any obvious defects. It's not a family day out, regardless of whether you have the opportunity at this time to find out the sex of the baby.

What you are saying is that it's unreasonable to take your family
to the 12 week scan, but not the 20 week scan. Those are the only scans a woman experiencing a low-risk pregnancy would have, aside from private scans, growth scans or the possibility of other issues (placenta prévia perhaps?)

I personally think that there are very limited circumstances in which you'd need to take anyone other than a partner (or other supportive adult if you are single). OP, you are no better than the people you are judging.

RedBlackberries · 14/03/2018 11:42

Waiting for a scan right now and the room is full. I'm usually alone or just me and dh. I wouldn't want other people with me incase of bad news. There are pregnant women having to stand and no spare seats right now.

TonicAndTonic · 14/03/2018 11:47

Doesn't bother me as long as I can get a seat in the waiting room. Clearly my hospital maternity dept doesn't like it though, as my scan appointment letters all specified only 1 accompanying person and they must be over 14.

Pinkfrangipani · 14/03/2018 11:58

@RedBlackberries That is disgusting! Are family members really taking up seats while pregnant women are standing? How can people not see this is wrong?

RedBlackberries · 14/03/2018 12:00

They've noticed and offered and the pregnant women are being very British and saying they're ok standing etc. I'm happy to be sitting!!

Pinkfrangipani · 14/03/2018 12:02

🤦🏻‍♀️ Oh well....up to them I guess!
Glad you have a seat

flimflaminurjams · 14/03/2018 12:12

Yes because some people are ignorant pigs who think the whole world revolves around them, they are the only ones to have ever had a child.

Agree with PPs - 20 weeks is anomaly scan, something that takes a lot of concentration for the staff and can be sadly for some, a heartbreaking or fearful time. It is not a day out at the park.

Just wait until people start FB live broadcasting it so friends near and far can all get in on the act.

Nothing is private anymore.

Kittypillar · 14/03/2018 12:22

I recently had a growth scan - thankfully all ended up being fine but I was a wee bit nervous when I was sat in the waiting room. It did surprise me when a family of 7 showed up (parents, 3 kids and, I assumed, 2 grandparents)! It was all a bit of a commotion and they were all sat down and taking up a lot of room in a very busy waiting area, so some women were just standing there without a seat. After they noticed, one of the receptionists asked if some of this family could wait in the café downstairs as they were taking up too many chairs that were needed for patients, and she also mentioned they wouldn't all be allowed in the room for the scan in any case. Suffice to say, it did not go down well, but eventually the grandparents very huffily took the kids downstairs to the café.

I think booking a private scan would be more appropriate for taking along all the family to IMO, if that's what you'd like to do.

dinosaurkisses · 14/03/2018 12:26

It was the same at my antenatal appointments- it was a public open clinic specifically for low risk patients, were you spent most of the time in the waiting room before literally a max of five minutes with the medical professionals. I went to all of them on my own, but some women brought partners, their mothers plus their existing kids with them. The waiting room would be like a zoo.

The amount of people, mainly young enough men, that had the gall to sit on the benches whilst heavily pregnant women had to stand.

I can see why you’d bring someone if you were high risk, there was a language barrier or if you had some kind of hospital anxiety, but I just wonder what kind of people think sitting in a stuffy hospital waiting room while their sister in law has her wee dip-sticked sounds like a jolly day out.

DotCottonDotCom · 14/03/2018 12:33

Op you had me at
Do you seriously have to drag a whole family for scan
No I don't get it either, but then I don't get why anyone needs anyone else but their partner at birth either, unless they arent involved/known for whatever reason etc. Its not entertainment

You lost me at:

I took mine just for 20 weeks one to find out sex but why take them every single time

LOL, behave!

MammieBear · 14/03/2018 12:33

It's of no concern to anyone else who people take with them, some people need more support than others or they have family that will be more involved... In any case I think its lovely it's a joyous occasion so why not.

Whydomypubeslooklikeanest · 14/03/2018 12:37

Why do people do exactly the same thing you did

Why did you do it op?

dinosaurkisses · 14/03/2018 12:40

Mammie- people have explained why not. I might think it’s a bit odd that a woman would want to bring lots of family with her, but when it doesn’t impact on me and my treatment, I don’t really care.

I do care when pregnant women are expected to stand when waiting for an appointment, especially if that woman is having a difficult pregnancy herself or dealing with bad news but is expected to sit in a room full of jubilant extended families taking up seats.

userofthiswebsite · 14/03/2018 12:42

whycantithinkofaname

I'm curious about your post.
How often does this happen?
And how does your mum know that after having found out the gender during the ultrasound, that the mum/couple what have you, went and booked a termination?
I understand sex selective abortion to be rare in the UK...?

Coconutspongexo · 14/03/2018 12:44

Mammiebear except it’s not always a lovely and joyous occasion

Maryann1975 · 14/03/2018 12:45

I don’t think this is a problem only with pg scans. I was in a and e a few Friday nights ago and there were several whole extended families there with for example a child with a broken ankle. Honestly, parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, toddler cousins, you couldn’t make it up! A family evening out to hospital? Not a chance!

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