Tips on how to enjoy pregnancy more.

[Pereie]

I am pregnant with my first and hating every minute.

I have tried to be more positive about it but honestly the sickness and pain is just making me miserable. I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror and look forward to going to bed at night so I can forget about it while I sleep.

I have been looking forward to becoming a mother my entire adult life and this baby is very much wanted. I just can't believe how badly I am coping with actually growing a baby - I feel like such a failure.

Any advice on how to be more positive? Blogs or books to read etc? I am fed up listening to myself moan about it.

Just remember, Pregnancy doesn't last forever.. I didn't really enjoy my first pregnancy in the beginning , but when my Bump started to grow , you feel the kicks and the baby responding to you, it's a great feeling, you'll miss it when your not pregnant. (Well I did anyway!)

You don't have to enjoy it. I hated being pregnant both times but love my wonderful children.

How far along are you? Don't beat yourself up for not enjoying it, lots ofvwomen hate being pregnant but love being mothers. It's a huge strain on your body and a massive restriction on your life. I would have murdered someone for a medium rare steak and tuna sashimi when I was pregnant but in reality I would have thrown it up anyway.

It won't last forever.

How far through are you? Hold on to the fact that the sickness usually only last to 12 weeks. It really is miraculous how suddenly and completely it stops (for most). Then you can try to enjoy the second trimester which from memory is comparatively pain free, all the loveliness if feeling your baby kick etc. By the time you get to third trimester you are so very close to the end of it! Which is good because third trimester you won’t be able to sleep to escape it all. But then you get a baby! Yay!

I've hated being pregnant and I've had a straightforward pregnancy so I don't know how people do it who really suffer! Its a lot to take in, the effects it has on your body is very hard to deal with at times, just the fact you're putting on weight is enough to make you feel ugly and like shit half the time. I hated the fact that i couldn't control what was happening to my body.
Im 6 days overdue now so hating pregnancy even more haha but the one thing I have loved the whole way through is feeling baby move. When they get big enough to feel proper kicks and you can see them wriggling it reminds you why you're going through all this. It feels like you're pregnant forever but honestly it flies by, hang on in there and think of your gorgeous baby

I am almost 19 weeks now and seem to be at the doctor / hospital every other week for something new.

I guess I just need to hang on to the thought that it's not going to last forever!

Thanks for the supportive messages

I couldn't agree more with rockandroll , you don't have to enjoy it.

Let's face it, pregnancy IS hard on our bodies but it's a means to an end that does end.

I imagined if be this glorious hippy style pregnant won, running through fields of flowers with a floaty dress on and a huge smile on my face. In reality, I'm sat st home with pyjamas on and a face sportier than most teenagers moaning about my hip pain.

Only advice is to take it a day at a time and if you have a day where you feel better than usual then enjoy the moment.

I'm with you, pregnancy is rubbish,your body isn't your own and someone is always prodding or poking you! However the baby at the end of it is pretty cool. The best thing in my life actually. Only 21 more weeks to go (or there abouts!) and it will all seem worth it!

I hate being pregnant too. People will often comment that 'this is the easy bit' and 'it will be harder when the baby arrives', but, ime, that's just not true for everyone (eg. me!). I had uncomplicated pregnancies and absolutely hated every single minute.

I haven't enjoyed this pregnancy at all...it has been fraught (I had a previous late loss) and have had a series of minor aliments plus being scanned/blood tests/injections right, left and centre. Now at 37+2 I am enormous (but apparently bump is measuring spot on according to me), breathless and all in all fed up. I do occasionally feel guilty because I sometimes feel that I should be enjoying it a bit more but I am not and that is the reality of it...just looking forward to meeting my little person at the end!

My pregnancy was horrendous. I had severe depression and constant nausea and heartburn, and it felt like it went on forever. Now DS is here its all a distant memory and he's only 4 months old. Just try to-do something each day that makes you smile, go to bed and cross that day off. It doesn't last forever and please don't feel bad for not loving it. More than 50% of the people I spoke to also hated being pg.

Another one not enjoying it. Felt rough from the start now almost at 30 weeks. Loved it last time so have extra guilt that I’m hating being pregnant with this one. Things have improved slightly since I’ve been on heartburn tablets and sleeping on a new mattress. But now I’ve replaced those with constant anxiety about baby’s movements. It’s going to be a very long 10-12 weeks.

I’ve tried to line up nice things to look forward to over the coming weeks and take the chance to treat myself when I can to try and make myself feel better. It will be worth it in the end but that fact doesn’t make the endless weeks ahead any less awful.

Hopefully as the baby gets bigger and really starts off with the movements you can find some enjoyment in that. But please don’t feel bad or guilt if you don’t enjoy that either. Movements for me can be bloody painful sometimes and anxiety inducing when they don’t happen. just another shitty thing on the pregnancy list. Unfortunately for some of us pregnancy is just rubbish. Big for you.

I find pregnancy really hard too (getting to the end of my second time now). I don’t like the physical sensations and I really struggle with how little control I have and how limiting it is to be sore / sick / breathless / exhausted all the time. Pregnancy yoga classes, my NCT group, Mumsnet antenatal birth clubs and a bath every night have all helped at times, and an understanding partner makes a big difference too. The most important thing to remember is how you feel about being pregnant has no bearing on how you are going to feel about your baby when they come. Plus when you finally do give birth you get the double bonus of having a newborn AND not being pregnant any more, which I see as something to celebrate in itself!

I’m 25 weeks and feeling exactly the same. I’ve been feeling a bit better the past few weeks though, as I think I had to let go of the guilt I was feeling for not enjoying every minute.
Like you, I have been so, so excited to have children my entire life. I thought I was made for this and when it took DP and I 10 months to conceive I was getting a bit plot lost! Then I got my positive pregnancy test, and within a couple of weeks I started really not enjoying it. I think we’re aware of what a miracle it is that our bodies are growing a baby and so feel like we have to be in awe of our bodies the entire pregnancy. I am extremely thankful and grateful that my body is carrying a healthy little girl, but I don’t need to be thankful for the sickness, the weight gain, the mood swings, the headaches, the acne, the pelvic girdle, the constant worrisome bleeds in my first trimester that had seemingly no cause, the stress of knowing that at any moment it could all go wrong. It is a massive physical and emotional strain you are under, and I think it’s perfectly OK to accept that, and just be excited for your baby to come (and yes, pregnancy to be over).

Pregnancy absolutely sucks- the silver lining is that it felt soo good once the baby was out - even sleep deprivation and C-section recovery beats the hell of pregnancy.

This time round I'm managing it a bit better - I'm sick all the way through like I was last time but am managing it with meds, I have SPD again but doing clinical Pilates, physio etc to try to keep it under control, and am finishing work as early as I can (32 weeks) rather than working right up.

Sorry that's possibly a bit dismal but pregnancy is shit and anyone who enjoys it is weird 😂

I could have written this post myself. Between severe morning sickness/ borderline hg, depression and never ending heartburn and the unending guilt of having to depend on my partner/family to do everything for me while I sob uncontrollably, I can't wait for August to come so I'm not pregnant anymore. I tried to go back to work for a week but couldn't handle it and am back off sick which makes me feel like even more of a failure.

I feel so guilty for feeling like this when I think of all the woman that would give a limb to be in my position.

GentleBirth app was recommended to me by another pregnant lady. There's lots of hypnosis, mindfulness and affirmation exercises on it that make me feel like I'm doing at least one tiny positive thing for my pregnancy. It also distracts/turns off the guilt for half an hour a day. It's 11.99 a month but I think worth it for a few more months to make me feel less like a shitty woman.

My god - thank you for this thread! I posted in a September babies thread the other day - saying the same thing, pregnancy is so tough etc - and all anyone talks about in it is scans and excitement. ☹️ I am 14 wks and totally exhausted and been off work for a week because I’m so depressed and tearful. The GP was totally useless so I signed myself off. Everything I would normally do to cheer myself up - drink alcohol, eat copious amounts of chicken liver pate and baked Camembert, get my hair and nails done - I either can’t do it get horrendously judged by people if I do (the hairdresser wouldn’t do my hair the other day even though I thought it was okay after first trimester?). Of course, I’m so emotional that it ended up with me in floods of tears in the chair! FFS!!!!

Hate being pregnant too. I'm now doing it again for the second time. HG, hip pain, tiredness, can't do what I want and can't eat and drink what I want. I also hate the feeling of kicks and stuff as it made me feel sick the first time (exacerbated the HG). It is totally worth it but when you're doing it it's horrible. I focused on the end point and wrote down every day in 40 weeks I had to get through and tried to plan some things I could do and look forward to which really helped. I then ticked off every day. When it was over it was a distant memory and being a mum is amazing. Dont feel like you can't say pregnancy is rubbish because imo it is. Yes we are lucky to be able to have a baby but not everyone glows and loves it and that's OK it doesn't make you a better mum at the end if you loved every moment just find your way to get through the 40 weeks!!!!!

LynseyA I totally get you and you aren't alone. I found it helpful last time to think of the things you can do.... Go to the cinema, go and see a comedian, buy some nice maternity pajamas or a new dressing gown or slippers, make yourself a yummy mocktail, plan a pregnancy massage, attend any pregnancy classes like swimming or hypnobirthing or anything your children's centre might run, buy yourself a book (Hurrah for gin is brilliant for a parenting book that's hilarious!). It is rubbish though it's just finding a way to cope as when baby is here you can do all the things you want to do again and it becomes a distant memory. It must be as I'm doing it all over again!

37 weeks tomorrow and sooooooo looking forward to having my body back. Having said that there is only a 14 month gap between my two, so by the time he arrives I would have been pregnant for the last 18 of 23 months! Pregnancy is much harder than most expect so don't be so hard on yourself.

I think the pressure to "enjoy" pregnancy is ridiculous. Don't put yourself under the pressure. Just grit your teeth and get through it. You get a nice present at the end.

Yes, some good tips there, thankyou! I actually am looking forward to a pregnancy massage - and I think I can have one now. Few weeks ago I looked into it but still couldn’t in first trimester. That resulted in more tears!
Plus, I feel like I could start a fight in an empty room at the moment so massage may help relax me!
I’ve bought a few maternity clothing bits and bobs and that actually cheered me up (all shopping helps!) x

I'm 34 weeks today, I'm a very empathetic person so thought I kinda understood what I was in for based on all the accounts from family, friends, and co-workers over the years...

😂😂😂

I had no freaking clue, everything is 20 times worse when it's happening to you.

I wish I had tips to share, but it's just awful honestly. The only good thing about pregnancy is that you get a baby out of it, everything else sucks.

Another one to join the club! I’ve been in agony since 4weeks and I’m only 14 weeks tomorrow. This mightn’t be for everyone but I’m cheering myself up by making things for the baby. I hadn’t knit anything since I was a child but so far I have made 2 cardigans and am starting a baby blanket. Keeps me focused on the end goal of an actual baby and suits the fact that I’m not very mobile.