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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Is this a stupid idea? Opinions wanted!

46 replies

FrauNeuer · 05/03/2018 00:27

I may need some sense talking into me here, but I’m currently 10 weeks pregnant and husband and I are thinking of adopting a rescue dog.

I’m pregnant through ivf and resigned from my job during treatment so I’m at home all day, although I’d like to get myself a little part time job until baby arrives. If everything’s ok with my pregnancy, I’ll be a stay at home parent for at least the first year.

I’ll have lots of time to devote to the dog at the moment and we’d like to get a rescue that has already been with a family so we know it’s temperament.

I think having a dog would be great exercise and I also believe that children should learn how to behave around animals and as a child I had a really special bond with our family dog.

MiL however thinks I’ve lost my mind and believes that I’ll regret this decision once the baby is here and demanding my attention.

So, are these pregnancy hormones severely impairing my common sense or can this work?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PhelanThePain · 05/03/2018 00:30

Don’t get a dog. Seriously. In 6 months time you will be knee deep in nappies and exhausted and the last thing you will want to do when your DH goes back to work is drag your exhausted body out of bed to take the dog for a walk or go clean up his poo. Seriously, wait until your baby is a few years old and you have a well established life routine and you will know whether a dog will fit into it. Don’t do it arse about face!

QueenOfGaviscon · 05/03/2018 00:31

Just don't. We had friends who did similar and the dog was re homed before the baby arrived

JustHereForThePooStories · 05/03/2018 00:32

Please don’t do this. The only one who’ll suffer if it doesn’t work out is the dog.

PhelanThePain · 05/03/2018 00:32

There are threads on MN on a daily basis from mothers who are struggling to get themselves and their newborns out of the house in less than two hours because of naps and feeds and poonami nappies. No imagine that all you’re trying to do is get out to walk the dog for 30 minutes. Would 2 hours faffing with a baby make that 30 minute walk worth it?

RemainOptimistic · 05/03/2018 00:39

I love my dog dearly and thought I'd cope fine. It's been bloody hard and still hard now DS is 12 months old. It's actually got harder as DS has got older as he doesn't sleep on walks any more and is increasingly demanding of my energy. My dog now barks a lot because of boredom which makes me even more irritable and sleep deprived when it happens at 4am. I feel horrendously guilty knowing my dog's quality of life has gone to shit through no fault of her own. Don't do it, just don't!

Kittypillar · 05/03/2018 00:56

Pleeeeease please don't. Dogs are amazing but are an absolutely massive responsibility and not one that should be taken lightly. At a time when life as you know it will be changing completely, adding a dog into the mix is just going to make everything even harder - will you want to take them for walks twice a day when you and your partner are horrendously sleep deprived? Will you be able to dedicate all of the love, attention and time they need to adjust to life with your family when you have a newborn soon after they've arrived? Will you possibly resent cleaning up after a dog when you have a child to think about too?

I had a colleague who not so long ago had a situation where she got a dog and found out she was pregnant literally a month later. It ended in tears. Honestly, it was the most heartbreaking thing, for her but also for the dog, as well as incredibly unsettling and difficult for the poor thing.

Dogs are the best and one day they'll be the most wonderful addition to your family, but now isn't the time. It really isn't. You won't regret waiting for a short while but it's VERY possible you'll regret adding to your responsibilities at a time when you're stretched to the maximum.

Catinthecorner · 05/03/2018 03:23

Have you had dogs before? I raise for a service dog charity so basically take on an 8week old every year. I’d manage to juggle puppy and a pregnancy because that’s basically my day job. Outside of that what you’re suggesting is possible but bloody hard work

FranticallyPeaceful · 05/03/2018 03:39

It’s possible but you’re really setting yourself up for a difficult time. It’s easy to become pet broody when pregnant but just wait... it’s harder than you think it is. You may have time NOW to devote to a dog but soon you’ll not even have enough hours in the day to devote to your baby even if looking after the baby is all you’re doing, so a dog will seriously be too much for most people. Wait until you’ve got the baby stuff down, I’d wait until your baby is active really.
I have a large dog and he’s amazing but even I’m dreading having a newborn and a dog, of course I will have to make it work but there’s no way I would take on a newer dog that doesn’t understand our family life etc, not when I’m expecting

Speedy85 · 05/03/2018 03:43

Have you thought about temporarily fostering a dog? There are various charities looking for people who will do this eg for victims of domestic abuse who are staying in shelters. Yo could just do it until the birth.

RefuseTheLies · 05/03/2018 03:46

Get a cat instead. They’re entirely (well, mostly) self-sufficient

Speedy85 · 05/03/2018 03:53

You have to worry about toxoplasmosis with cats though...

TeeBee · 05/03/2018 04:47

Noooooo. You won't enjoy your baby as much. Just wait. They'll be a time for dogs. Having a puppy is like having a toddler in the house. Far too much unnecessary work when you will have a newborn to take care of.

laurzj82 · 05/03/2018 04:56

I would 100% wait. Having a newborn is hard enough. It can be done: we rehomed a dog and 3 days later found out I was pregnant But it was hard work, even though she is the easiest dog in the world. I ended up with severe SPD; walking her was agony. Then you have to walk the dog with the pram, which isn't easy. It gets even harder when they are toddlers and refuse to go in the bloody buggy

I love my fur ball to death but had I known then what I do now I would've waited until my daughter was older.

If you are desperate for a pet, get a cat. So much easier

Nandocushion · 05/03/2018 05:11

As a cat person I hate this idea that cats are pets like fish that you can just have and feed from time to time and ignore most of the time, let them run outside for days on end, etc. Cats are domesticated pets who like human company. If from a young age you treat them like you do dogs, they tend to act like dogs and will likely be very social.

OP, please don't get a pet now. Leave it until well after your baby has arrived and you have some idea of your spare time.

Thursdaydreaming · 05/03/2018 05:45

It's not that you can ignore them (although many cats prefer to be left alone), it's more that you don't need to walk them and can take care of them entirely from inside your own house.

snowy1982 · 05/03/2018 05:55

I have 2 dogs and am currently 13 weeks pregnant and are wondering how we will all cope. Now i’ve had my pups for 5 and 3 years respectively so their going nowhere, but i know it is going to be really hard work when the baby arrives. There is no way I would consider getting another one at this stage. Please wait until baby is a couple years old and then get your pup

katmarie · 05/03/2018 06:06

I have two dogs and a five week old baby. It's bloody hard work. When I was 8 months pregnant one of the dogs had to have surgery for bladder stones, and now needs constant monitoring, special diet and quarterly vet visits. The other is 8 months old (we got her when I was pregnant) she needs at least an hour's good exercise a day, or she gets bored and destructive. I wouldn't rehome them for all the money in the world, but there are definitely times when they don't get enough of our attention. I love them both dearly but life would definitely be a lot easier without them right now.

welshcake82 · 05/03/2018 06:13

I would echo pps. Any animal is an extra thing to tend to and you really don't need that with a newborn.

I don't have any experience of having dogs but we ended up rehoming our cat when our baby was a few months old. Our cat (rescue cat) chewed the fur off her back legs which we put down to distress in that she wasn't our primary focus anymore. She then tried to scratch the baby and sadly once was enough so she now lives very happily with DM (and her fur has regrown).

So, not only is it a massive undertaking for you to care for an animal alongside a newborn but you cannot predict how the animal will react. A rescue dog in particular may feel stressed or sidelined once DC arrives.

LooksBetterWithAFilter · 05/03/2018 06:17

It took about 6 months for our 12 month old rescue to 100% settle with us and by then you’ll be having a baby. I think it’s a crazy idea as someone who has rescued a dog when my youngest was a toddler. I was a lone parent at the time and it was hard going getting the dc rallied to go out in miserable weather to walk the dog.
You will also give the dog loads of attention for the next 6-7 months then it will be sidelined a lot when you have a newborn to deal with. These things can cause anxiety in even the most stable rescue dog. You have no idea what you will feel like with constant feeding and sleep deprivation so you need to hold of throwing any extra work into the mix until your baby is older.

Bobbiepin · 05/03/2018 07:44

Something else to consider- its easier to have a pet come into a home with a young child (or even a baby if you really want) than to have a pet's life disrupted by bringing in a baby. This is more so for cats who tend to be a little more territorial than dogs. Enjoy your baby and get a pet when baby is old enough to enjoy them too.

GransGloves · 05/03/2018 07:48

No don't please! We have two cats who were our 'babies' and much loved and indulged before our human DC arrived. Now they are sidelined and to be honest just another chore in a very very long line of chores. I feel horribly guilty and do the best we can to keep the cats happy but yet another demand on your attention when you have a young family is hard. There will be lots of time for a dog when your DC is older. Congratulations btw!

mrsprefect · 05/03/2018 08:57

If you devote all your time to a dog now and then suddenly in a few months time barely have time to look at it, how do you think the poor dog is going to feel? I have a dog who is about as small and as easy as dogs come and I breath a sigh of relief when he goes to work with DH every day. The first baby class I ever went to was full of mums saying how guilty they felt about their dogs following the arrival of the baby. Honestly, now is not the time.

TheCatsMother44 · 05/03/2018 09:08

I'm with your MIL on this, I think you'd be mad to get a dog now. Enjoy your baby first, get into a routine and then get a dog if you still want one. You also don't know how you'll be in pregnancy, I've suffered with terrible SPD which has made it difficult and painful to walk some days so there's no way I could walk or care for a dog when I've been like that. Plus there's the added thought that when you go into labour you'll need to have someone on hand to look after the dog whilst you're in hospital, why add more stress and responsibility to a time in your life that's already going to be life altering?

Cats are much easier but I agree they're not the same so if you're a dog person it just won't be the same.

You have to worry about toxoplasmosis with cats though... I doubt you'll get a cat if you actually wanted a dog but don't worry about the toxoplasmosis side of things if you do unless your cat is a hunter or eats fresh meat. You'd urr on the side of caution if you got a cat and it did go outside though, as you don't actually know what it's up to, but then just get your partner to clean out the cat litter tray and the problem is solved.

BossWitch · 05/03/2018 09:21

We got our dog about 8 weeks before getting pregnant. As a pup, not a rescue which I think helped with settling. Dog is now 4.5 and we probably say at least once a fortnight that if we could go back in time we would tell ourselves not to get her! We thought falling pregnant might take ages; it didn't, and having both together was and is hard work.

That said, there are advantages- dd is totally happy and confident around animals, is very good at knowing how to be gentle and respect an animal's space etc. Lots of my friends' children who don't have pets are scared of dogs which to be honest I find slightly annoying! Also I do think growing up with pets is good for children, but I can't see that we would have got a dog once baby was here, so by doing it dog first I guess the "when would be a good time" decision was taken away!

If you do it I would think carefully about going for a rescue though. I know overall that it is more ethical but I think in these circumstances you are putting a dog through a lot of stress and disruption which may cause problems.

PhelanThePain · 05/03/2018 09:43

Don’t get a cat unless you want to pick cat fur out of your Moses basket and clean cat piss out of your pram.

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