Telling 6 year old about pregnancy...

[PerrieGrey]

Hi all. I've just found out I'm pregnant (yey!). So unbelievably anxious/excited, and can't wait to tell my step daughter. She is 6 and has no siblings so is a first for her (and me too!). I've never done this before so am really nervous about something going wrong. The only other time I was pregnant I had a miscarriage which was painful and heartbreaking.

My questions to you... how long did you wait to tell your kids? How did they react? And how do they get along with baby now!

Thanks in advance

I've just told both my kids - my eldest is 11 - I'm a single mum too and was v nervous! Wasn't too bad - daughter's really pleased son is only 4!!

My son is only 4 so he just went back to playing lol!!

@happyparty congrats on your news! So glad your daughter is pleased! My step daughter is a baby fanatic so I can imagine she's going to be glued to my belly. I'm excited for it.

Do you mind me asking how many weeks you were when you told them?

My two are 6 and 7. I told them at about 15 weeks. They are so excited!
I told them because I didn't want them to hear accidentally and wanted to make sure me & DH told them. In hindsight though I probably could have waited a bit. I'm 20 weeks now and only just starting to show. I have my anomaly scan in a couple of days and think if I did it again I'd wait til then just in case.
Congratulations btw

Congratulations OP! I was 13 weeks! As it's my 3rd I had to say something soon as starting to develop a bump lol!!

We told dd who is 7 at 10 weeks after my scan. She cried happy tears and then the excitement came and it took her a few days to calm down! It was so sweet.

Once she had told everyone in our town, she levelled out a bit and now just talks to my tummy here and there and asks questions as she thinks of them.

Today she worked out that the baby’s birthday is the day it is born so she needs to get them a present.

It’s the best thing ever. It’s easy for Dd to understand that it will take a long time to grow because she knows the significance of days vs weeks vs months.

I waited as long as I could each time . Partly in case anything went wrong and partly because young children have no concept of time so will drive you nuts asking “ is the baby coming today ? “.

Just say you have a baby growing in your tummy but it’s very tiny right now and won’t be ready to be born until eg after she starts school .

Everyone always worries that the child will ask how the baby got there but they never do at 4, you are quite safe.

If you get the chance , show her some newborns eg in the supermarket and explain that’s the kind of baby that will be coming . So she has a realistic idea, it’s not a child she can play with.

Tell her that the baby is already a boy or a girl but we won’t know until it’s born ( or whatever you have decided to do ). Otherwise when people ask “ do you want a brother or a sister? “ she will think she gets to choose.

Be prepared for her to be a bit underwhelmed .

I told DD who is five the day of the 12, week scan. She knew I was being sick lots and tired, so had been a bit anxious. We weren't going to tell her till Easter but she needed to know.

We sat down after dinner and said that you know mummies been sick lots lately, well we saw the Dr today and he found something in my tummy, do you know what this is? And showed her the scan picture. Seeing the confused look turn to excitement when she realised it was a baby was amazing. She keeps cuddling my tummy and talking to the baby.

DS who is 2 was there for the scan, he wasn't impressed and couldn't care less!

Thank you for all of your replies. I've only told my mum and a couple of very close friends so far (OH doesn't understand this and is angry at me for telling people so early but I wanted a couple of people who had been through it for support. That's another thread entirely however).

Can't wait for the 12 weeks scan so I can calm down a little and share with the rest of the family!

Congratulations! My older two were 5 and 3 when i told them. I waited until the 12 week scan to tell them, i also booked a private scan that they could come along too. They were excited and a 5 year old did ask how the baby got into me, so we had a chat. They were very interested in what was happening to baby each week so we looked online to show the development.

@EB123 can I ask what you told your 5 year old? I ask because we're telling our 6 year old after my 12 week scan in a few weeks and I KNOW she's going to ask how it got there. I am useless at this stuff and want to be not useless!!

@MaverickSnoopy I'm curious too... at 6, my step daughter is bound to ask!

I told him the very basic truth. Women have eggs inside them (he already knew this because he had seen me changing pads when on my period and asked why i was bleeding), men have sperm and daddy put his sperm into mummy and it joined with the egg and then they grow and become a baby.

He was happy with that at the time, he is 7 now and knows a little bit more. I think when they young they just accept it.

@EB123 have you ever read the book 'mummy laid an egg'? To anyone else wondering how to tell their little ones, I would absolutely suggest this! Just remembered that this is how my parents told me. It's fabulous and absolutely hilarious to read as an adult!

I told my son who is 5 after the 20 week scan as I'd had some mcs and wanted to be sure all was ok. It was difficult to wait but it was lovely that then he noticed my large bump and it's felt like an age since then till now (30 weeks).

@holycheeseplant big congrats! I can't wait to get to 30 weeks. The first 12 weeks is hell. I'm 4 weeks today and pulling my hair out! Bet you can't wait to introduce the new sibling

I waited as long as possible with my 6 year old - I think it was shortly after the 20 week scan. I was careful not to tell anyone at school so they wouldn't accidentally mention it. It was probably visible but nobody asked me out of politeness!

As for the facts of life - best thing is to be completely honest. At 6 they can be told the whole truth, you don't need to get graphic but they can handle knowing that mummy has the egg and daddy has the sperm and they mix them to make a baby. When they want to have a baby they have a special cuddle and the daddy puts his willie inside the mummy so the sperm can get out and find its way to the egg. You can say it feels nice if they ask. Stress this is something ONLY grown ups can do. I also said that we were lucky because it doesn't always work even if you really want it to and try lots of times. After that we looked at pictures of babies growing during the pregnancy and they found it fascinating. The sex part didn't take me long to explain. It's a few sentences really, you don't have to say too much, just make sure they know the truth in simple terms.

Oh, I did say making babies is a very private matter and some grown ups don't like to talk it so fgs don't discuss it with grandma!!!!

I told my nearly 4 year old right after the 20 week scan. She's so excited, went into preschool this morning and marched over to tell her key worker all about her baby brother. She's only known about him for four days and likes him at the moment, I expect that to change

Good luck OP!

I remember when my eight year old son asked me how the sperm from dad got inside me and what the special cuddle was like .

I took a deep breath and I told him . He listened with a solemn face and went quiet for a moment. Then asked

“ Seriously ? “

When I confirmed that this was indeed the truth, he thought again and asked

“ Do the other children in my class know this ? “

So I had to tell him that if they want don’t know yet, this is kind of thing that their parents needed to explain to them and not him

I don’t see anything wrong with very honestly telling my child that while there are more details to it than a special type of cuddle, she is still a bit young and I’ll explain more in a few years.

Today we had the conversation about how we would know if it’s a boy or a girl on the sonogram, and I’m quite sure her class will be full of discussion about intimate body parts today... I don’t think her teacher should have to contend with deep conversations about the mechanics of conception as well!

I hate Mummy Laid an Egg. Yes, it's funny and great to read once you know the facts. But imagine actually trying to get information from it!

Small children just need to be told the facts. Calmly, simply....and often!

I can’t agree. I think they need the facts instead of euphemism, but I don’t see children as mini adults and as such I’m quite happy to clearly defer the conversation to a later date.
Or have a ‘lite’ version of the conversation with a view to return and add some more details at a later date.

Dd often voices concerns about learning to drive. I reassure her that I will help her to understand how to drive and be safe on the road when the time comes. I reassure her that she will be able to do it once she is old enough to start learning. I point out a few easy to understand features. But I don’t enroll her with a driving instructor because she is 7.

I don't see children as mini adults either. But I also don't equate ignorance with innocence. And, on a purely practical level, I want the facts to be firmly established in their minds before they start hearing stuff in the playground.

Not the same but my sisters are young they were only 3 and 5 at the time. Told them when I’d had my first scan that I had a baby in my belly, showed them the scan and they were excited. The youngest didn’t know what this meant but through my pregnancy put her toys in his wardrobe for him to play with. Came home from having him when he was a couple of hours old and I think she was a bit miffed he couldn’t play yet. He’s 5 months and they both absolutely adore him! I also told them how the baby got there

I've got my 12 week scan on Thursday,I've had cards made for my 13 and 6 year old were taking them out for tea and giving them. So excited to tell them
Xxx