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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Telling your manager you're pregnant at 5 weeks?

33 replies

periapple · 01/03/2018 07:32

I have literally just found out I'm pregnant (yay!) however kinda knew already as I was extremely nauseous, which is unlike me. This morning I've woken up and vomited, and feel like I'm going to be sick again. I work in a very low risk office job however this makes it hard to disguise my sickness. I'm tired, keep having to take screen breaks and am all over struggling. Would I be silly to tell my immediate manager in confidence why I am feeling like this? It's a whole heap of pressure having to come up with excuses, and I'm worried that I may need to take a day off but will be out of pocket as I'm not protected by maternity laws until I inform my employer. Thoughts? (I'm about 4-5 weeks so very early). Thank you.

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Roseandmabelshouse · 01/03/2018 07:36

You would get sick pay? I personally wouldn't tell a manager until later on, buts that personal preference.

StylishMummy · 01/03/2018 07:39

Tell them, they're legally obligated to;
A - make reasonable adjustments
B- keep the news confidential
C - give you paid time off for any pregnancy related appointments

Taytotots · 01/03/2018 07:40

I think that it would be very sensible to tell them and any good manager will handle it well. There are lots of jobs (including mine) where you need to say early for H&S reasons so it isn't an unusual situation (although appreciate you don't need to for that). If you don't want colleagues to know I'm sure you can concoct some story between you.

ExhaustedAndHormonal · 01/03/2018 08:16

I did. Mainly because of the risks being High at work. .. Glad I did as literally days later I was floored with sickness. ( didn't have that with my DS) so needed time off. Webb back then had 6 weeks or so off x which they were good about

Original poster

periapple · 01/03/2018 08:16

@Roseandmabelshouse unfortunately I wouldn't get sick pay as I had shingles earlier in the year and used up the 4 weeks pay I get! If it is pregnancy related however my company pay me regardless of previous illness.

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Original poster

periapple · 01/03/2018 08:18

@StylishMummy @Taytotots @ExhaustedAndHormonal thank you for your advice. I just think it's so early and am worried something will go wrong and then I'll have to explain that. I can't believe how sick I am at only 4-5 weeks! I didn't know that was possible! Still umming and aahing...

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StylishMummy · 01/03/2018 08:19

@periapple - if something did go wrong (fingers crossed you'll be fine) then surely it's better to have work aware in case you need any time off? Pregnant women are incredibly well protected under British law

Thurlow · 01/03/2018 08:20

I did. Mainly because I had HG with my first pregnancy and expected it with my second so thought it would be better if they knew why I was off ill, if I was. But also if something had happened I would have to be off and tell them about it, so I couldn't entirely see the point of hiding it.

Original poster

periapple · 01/03/2018 08:21

@StylishMummy I didn't think of it that way (I'm a newbie to all this). I think you're right. I'm going to tell him after docs this morning. Oh man, the nerves! Thank you

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Original poster

periapple · 01/03/2018 08:21

@Thurlow here's to hoping my sickness doesn't get any worse! Thank you

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misshannah · 01/03/2018 08:21

I had to tell mine around 6 weeks, i didn't want to but i fell ill. They were very official about it all but it was ok.

Original poster

periapple · 01/03/2018 08:23

@misshannah sorry to hear you had a hard time, but glad it worked in your favour! Thanks

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BigGreenOlives · 01/03/2018 08:24

Sadly if the worst happens having to tell your manager won’t be the hardest thing. Please let them know so you are protected. Good luck

Original poster

periapple · 01/03/2018 08:26

Thank you @BigGreenOlives - fingers and toes and everything crossed.

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NameChangeCuddleBums · 01/03/2018 08:26

I did as I work in an environment that is potentially dangerous in pregnancy. Was awkward telling my boss before my family but it was a good thing. I was only at work one week and have been off since with HG (now 30 weeks). Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Original poster

periapple · 01/03/2018 08:29

Thank you @NameChangeCuddleBums - I literally just sit at a desk all day but because I work in law enforcement it's high pressure and the mental stress it puts you under when you have a live operation is huge. You need to think fast, and I am definitely not capable of thinking fast right now! So I guess although I'm not at risk myself, there is still some area of risk there. I couldn't live with myself if I made a mistake. Going to tell my manager today (if I can pluck up the courage!)

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Spam88 · 01/03/2018 08:36

Definitely tell them OP. They might be able to put things in place to help - eg one of the things that's standard on our pregnancy risk assessments is to allow flexible working so we can come in late if suffering with morning sickness.

Original poster

periapple · 01/03/2018 08:42

@Spam88 I can't believe I'm 4-5 weeks and am so sick already. Thank you, going to tell my manager today after my first doctors appointment

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BikeRunSki · 01/03/2018 08:43

Tell them and ask for discretion. As well as what StylishMummy said, once they know, they must record pregnancy related sickness seperarately to other sickness, and can not use it in disciplinary action.

I told my line manager at 6 weeks. That evening I was admitted to hospital with hyperemisis, where I stayed on and off for 8 weeks. At least they knew why!

bigfatbuddha · 01/03/2018 08:47

I had to tell at 5.5 weeks and the pregnancy was difficult and I miscarried at 11.4. My boss was very understanding (normally a twat) and it helped that I didn't have to lie. I ended up spending weeks at home and then weeks working half days. So if you have to tell them, it doesn't have to be bad. They might be helpful like my boss. He really is a dickhead in everything else so he really surprised me.

Anatidae · 01/03/2018 08:48

I have had to this time. Second pregnancy with HG and sick as a dog. Been signed off since about 8 weeks and now 14 weeks. I feel guilty about it but I’ve been hospitalised and I’m in no condition to work. My first I had the world’s most awful line manager and I was too afraid of telling g her as she’d made it quite clear she’d fire me if I was pregnant, so I worked through it and ended up severely ill.

Ask for discretion.

And come join us on the HG board if you need to.

Thurlow · 01/03/2018 09:36

Ask the GP about some anti-emetic, as the earlier you start their better

Original poster

periapple · 01/03/2018 10:56

@BikeRunSki @bigfatbuddha @Anatidae thank you

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Original poster

periapple · 01/03/2018 10:57

@Thurlow according to doc it's not necessary just yet.. hopefully it'll clear up!

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StatisticallyChallenged · 01/03/2018 11:13

I've just had to tell my boss at 6 weeks; in my case it was because I'm developing hyperemesis again so I had to cut short a work trip. Thankfully he's been great about it. Last pregnancy (different boss) was the same, had to tell them at about 6 weeks too.

Don't be fobbed off with meds, getting them early makes an enormous difference.

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