Panorama has terrified me!

[oysterpots]

I'm not anywhere near any of the hospitals featured but the programme has just made me feel so like I won't be in control of what happens to me when I go into labour.

I know it's unlikely that anything bad will happen but is there anything we can do to make our own situations come with as little risk as possible?

Those poor people...

flightatendant..
well hats off to you for having faith in yourself to birth at home, a lot of people would perhaps doubt their ability. by the sounds of it you did it all on your own last time and that is a good indicator that you will not need any inervention again, it's just a question of getting back that confidence and putting yourself and dh in control.
have you managed to meet some of the midwives likely to attend you? that might be an idea.(although you said you only have one appointment left...) I think it is very important that who ever is on your hb rota is fully aware that you had problems last time though no fault of your own. maybe your mw can write some notes on the rota that she sends out to whoever is on call if she is 'too pushed' to speak to them individually -maybe you could trace their phone numbers in order to voice your concerns.

I had a miss-managed birth (told to push for 2 hours when only 6 cm dilated by a very in-experienced mw) for me it didnt effect the second stage and I swapped to a very good mw who saved the day. but as a result I have forced myself to put-out-the-vibe that I am very 'precious' and expect almost special treatment (am due in a week ish 3rd baby and homebirth) I have managed to keep the mw on side by not being a pita about it, but as a result of my assertiveness I have her very much on side.

I totally understand why you didnt take it any further, I felt exactly the same as you and fortunatly the team manager took action for me and the mw ended up having to leave the community and have supervised practice in the hospital for 6 months.

You probably get the idea that I am all up for natural hands-off type births, and struggle with the way our maternity services are so medicalised. I understand how you feel completely about being scared of a repeat situation, but actually you have 5 weeks, enough time to get all that confidence back again, put yourself in control, you have done it once, you are already in a better position because you know you can do it (go into labour, contract, dilate, push a baby out). same for your dh.
there are heaps of practical things you can do too, dh is your gatekeeper while you are giving birth, you will be busy!

sorry for the long post, I could bang on for ages, but if you need some ideas for how to feel more in control, I can recommend some reading.

Hello PP - I was hoping to hear your experience as well, and it sounds like you were not given exactly 'optimum' care - hat's pretty shocking, being told to push at 6cm!! Lovely to hear you're planning to go the home route too, gosh only a week to go! I really hope eerything goes much better this time, please report back if you have the chance/inclination afterwards, I would love to hear how you got on...
Yes, I agree about the overintervention and medicalisation in this country, there are so many other ways to look at birth yet it seems so many women suffer because of hospitals trying to rush them through/cover their backs, aiming for speed and efficiency over calm and managed births with the mother in control.
I asked who would be delivering my baby, and was shown a rota with about 50 midwives on it...and told it could be any of them. So not much chance of meeting them in advance, sadly! However I've found a probable Doula who is a trainee, and may well be willing to attend free of charge - I'm hoping this will be a great advantage. I have no DH unfortunately, long story, but as you say I've done it before and can with a bit of luck do it again.
My good friend has lent me Ina May's guide to Childbirth which I am immersed in as we speak...I've read some leboyer and a lot of Penelope Leach, but anything else you can suggest will be much appreciated!!
Thankyou so much for being so supportive and kind. Wishing you a brilliant experience next week!
xx

flight...
by the books you are reading sounds like we are on the same wavelength. sorry to presume you have a dh. having the trainee doula sounds like a great idea. you will obv be doing her a favour too by allowing her the experience, the more planning with each other you can do the better (for both of you really!) but most importantly for you.

I used hypnosis for my last birth which was very effective untill the whole pushing saga, unfortunately I wasn't able to get back into in once I had been transfered into hospital, but this time I was determined to give it another go as it was so satisfying last time. this time I have been using cd's for relaxation and birth preparation and I can't recommend them highly enough, they have given me so much confidence and have made me feel so relaxed about the pregnancy and birth, I'm actually looking forward to it now but did start off felling scared.
I often catch myself being a bit evangelical about the cd programe so I try and tone it down a bit but I was fortunate enough to attend a birth prepartion course (two days) run by the lady who did the cds herehave a look
please don't think it is wacky it is all about relaxation, nothing weirdy or unrealistic (I used to be anti drugs during birth for example, now I accept that I might need them ad that is fine, but what I want is the best possible birth for me drugs or not)
the idea is to focus on being relaxed and so the cd's takes you through a guided relaxation where you become deeply relaxed then when you are relaxed it has lots of positive suggestions about birth and how to remain calm, relaxed and in control. the idea is that you are so relaxed that the suggestions reach your subconsious mind as well as your consious mind and thats where the 'hpynosis' bit comes from.
is this something that you feel might help you?

(sorry if this is a thread highjack, I believe that this kind of birth prep should be offered by our nhs -rather than being shoved in a crouded room full of scared looking first timers being shown all the instruments and told about all the medical stuff! after all, when it comes to making decisions about medical intervention, it is not often that women are in a suitable state to know their mind. -there aren't many other operations/procedures that you would go into hospital for and be talked through all the equipment that may or may not be used and all the drugs and their side effects!)

I think we have hijacked, PP, but nobody has objected!! That's fine assuming DH as I always assume everyone else has one!
Looked at the hypno site just now, wow that looks brilliant - I knew someone who used a similar technique with her second child, and never screamed or anything - she just hummed a lot! Baby was born with caul as well. Fantastic.
I'm glad to have a few weeks to get some of this down. I think it might really help. (my mother used to 'self-hypnotise' for dental treatment, now that I could never understand!!)
Thanks so much for the link and all your encouragement. I hope some others read this too and feel better about their upcoming births, especially those who were freaked a little by Panorama...

Your hijacking was certainly helpful to me.

Just had a look at that site and bought the birth prep CD off ebay secondhand for a tenner. There's another on there at the moment with a starting bid of £4.99 (17.99 new).

If nothing else I can spend 40 minutes aday lying back and relaxing listening to it for the next 5 weeks...

Nice one! Might have a look on the 'bay...

Thanks for that link Preggerspoppet - Natal Hypnotherapy was mentioned in this month's Red magazine but I couldn't remember the name until you reminded me!! Was thinking of doing Hypnobirthing which is provided by my yoga centre but it's quite pricey... These CD's might be just the ticket!

As a birth phobic myself, I didn't actually watch the programme (why make yourself even worse, right?).
Apols if someone has made this point (I skimmed the middle) but FWIW, my DH is a press officer who's worked for various public services, and he reckons that Panorama is not exactly viewed as a shining light of absolutely straight, responsible journalism.
I don't think those two hospitals were chosen at random.