Hiding a pregnancy on a night out?!

[coffeeforone]

It’s very early days and I haven’t told anyone. My close friends our mums have arranged a get together next weekend to celebrate one of the mum’s 65th birthday. I’m really looking forward to it, however I need to be able to pretend to drink and hide the fact that I’m not drinking from them all. I usually enjoy alcohol and ‘let my hair down’ with them so I’m afraid they’ll guess something’s up. Last time I was 5 weeks PG and went out I made the excuse I had a terrible hangover and so I’m only having a couple. I made a glass of processo last the whole evening until one of my close friends just blurted ‘your pregnant aren’t you!” And I couldn’t keep a straight face - turns out they had chatted whilst I was in the loo and were all certain! I don’t want the same to happen again especially with my mum present it would be awful if this is how she finds out. Any tips on how to pretend to drink? I would never be able to say I’m not drinking as they’ll guess straight away - the usual anti-biotics/driving etc won’t work with my friends. We have 10 little ones between 5 of us and all the excuses have been used before - we know each other really well!! So I need to pretend to drink - how do I do that without being caught??

When I was hiding my pregnancy on nights out, I volunteered to get the drinks each time and just get myself a coke and pretend it was vodka. When I went to the loo and I'd get myself another coke on the way back so when somebody else was doing a round I could be like I'm okay thanks just got one!

The things we have to do! Congratulations by the way :)

No real advice but good luck! I was the exact same all my friends knew instantly when I turned down a drink!! I did actually try just go to the bar myself, or maybe have someone there who knows (if there is anyone) and get them to get you drinks. Like, soda water with ice and lime to look like g&t? Or non alcoholic wine? It's so difficult! Good luck and congratulations x

Thanks!! No one knows except me and DH. We really want to try to wait until after the first scan as it was awful last time when all my friends and my parents knew but MIL didn’t (We would never consider telling MIL before we have a scan and know it’s likely that everything will be ok as she is very sensitive and don’t think she would cope well if things didn’t go to plan x - it would be easier if she didn’t know). So we want to wait it out this time and tell both sets of parents at 13 weeks, then everyone else.

I honestly think you should just tell them. They will guess so you might as well.

MIL doesn't need to know that she was the last to know.

I had a few nights out before I told anyone, a couple with different people I said I had a bad stomach, gastro problems and no one asked a thing and luckily felt pretty shit anyway so looked it as well! Another I told the bar man I was pregnant and got him to make me rinks that looked like the normal cocktails just with no alcohol in, he was ace!! Good luck! I have found some people have guessed but generally don't ask as they know it's a bit of a no no to ask anyways so hopefully your friends will not say anything if they do guess

I have used Dry January as my excuse a couple of times. It seems to be a big enough thing these days that most people just accept it without comment, though I think a couple of my closer friends will claim they knew what was going on!

What do you normally drink? I don't think excuses work well so if you want to hide it, you need to lie! Pretend to drink, get just coke but in a short glass. I would have alcohol free beer in a pint glass. Or tonic no gin.

Thanks for the suggestions! I usually drink lager or share bottles of wine! Not a spirits girl and they know that. Need to find a way to get to the bar alone and order non-alc beer - that in itself will be difficult!

Another thought is sipping alcoholic drinks and somehow discarding the rest...not sure how though!

Just say you’re doing dry jan. It will be near theend of Jan and you don’t want to ruin it.

Can you drive there? Or need to drive to "someone elses" afterwards?

Say you’re on medication perhaps, or maybe just have one or two glasses of something with low alcohol volume in between soft drinks? That depends though on your attitude to drinking alcohol in pregnancy.

My go to excuse would be to be driving. Either designated driver for the evening or needing to go on somewhere afterwards/early next day.

However, bearing in mind your mum will be there and you don't want her to find out by accident...I would probably have a nasty bout of flu and stay home this time.

Say you are on metronidazole (an antibiotic) for an infected tooth. You really can’t drink on that one, it makes you very ill if you do.

Antibiotics always screams Pregnancy!

I was going to suggest a horrendous hangover but you did that last time.

I think dry January is your best option.

Pretend to have wine and take it to the toilet to dump every so often? Or tell one close friend so they can help cover for you

Dry january. Talk enthusiatically about booking a piss up mid Feb once dry jan is over.

The one friend on side really works! I have a great friend who did this for me. We would both share a bottle of wine, swap glasses regularly and top each others glasses up. At one point we moved to shots she ordered a round of Sambuccas and made the barman pour me a shot of water so it looked the same.

Say you've had toothache, have a gum infection and you're taking metronidazole which is an antibiotic that can and does make you feel very very sick if you drink alcohol with it.

I don't understand why driving wouldn't work? Surely they wouldn't expect you to be drinking if you're driving?!

Order halves. Sip and dump every so often. Halves will look less suspicions when you've suddenly drunk it all.

Congratulations!

I'd either be your mums driver,(if applicable) no one can argue with that and your mum will be very grateful.
Or dry Jan, start sharing annoying things on fb about it now and plant the seed. Tell everyone how good you feel for it etc

It’s hard when your not a spirit drinker. I’m quite the same as you. I enjoy beer or sharing wine. The sharing the wine won’t work as the other girls will know if it’s low alcohol or no alcohol. Your best bet is to drink non alcoholic beers. Obviously they say it on the label so you’ll have to pour into a glass. Wondering if you could tell the person behind the bar and they could help, I’ve heard a few people doing this.

Non alcoholic beer in a half pint glass?

Or wine share but sip slowly and tip it away when they aren't looking !