Fed up and terrified of birthing huge baby

[Bellamuerte]

38.5 weeks. Baby is HUGE (estimated as 8.5lb and still growing). I'm the size of a bus (was sent for a scan because I measured above the 95th percentile and they were worried it was dangerous). I'm housebound as I can barely walk, I'm in constant pain and can't sleep, my stomach is stretched painfully tight and there are more ugly stretch marks every day.

I want this baby out before any more awful stretch marks appear! I'm terrified of what I'll look like if this goes on for much longer and terrified of how big the baby will get. I'm frightened that by 40 weeks I'll be pushing out a 10lb baby and will end up with serious tearing, pain and possibly lasting disability. And I'm frightened that I'm so big I will never look normal again. I'm afraid and beginning to feel angry and resentful about what this baby is doing to my body. Last night I told DH I hate the baby. I'm crying every day because I just want this pregnancy to be over.

You will be fine. My DD came out at 11lb5oz (!!) and nobody knew until I was induced, went through labour and had an emergency C-section.

Can they give you an elective c-section or have you opted for a naural birth? I know people do give birth to large babies, but I would have thought if they knew you were having a larger baby, they would keep an eye on you and ensure you were induced or didn't go overdue. I may be wrong though.

Forgot to say, in this pregnancy, I am being monitored closely as I know I don't want another massive baby! I'm sure women can give birth naturally to babies 10lb or more, but with my tiny 5'2" frame, I don't really want to find out...

Oh, and you WILL look normal again. I did, and am having another. It didn't put me off and I was absolutely HUGE!

Oh you sounds very ready to have this baby!!

Honestly though - size isn’t everything. I had a couple of 10lbers and never a stitch. I’ve worked a midwife and seen lots of ‘easy’ births of big babies and lots of bloody awful ones of tiny babies. Sometimes small babies do things like put their arms over their head which doesn’t exactly help....

Best of luck. I remember the waiting! X

My 9lb 5oz DC2 came out a lot easier, with less physical trauma to my body, than DC1 and 3, both under 8lbs.

Try not to worry too much. Growth scans are notoriously inaccurate. My sis was scanned with first pregnancy - told Baby was 8lbs and he turned out to be 10lbs when he was born the next day.
They have a massive margin of error.
Personally I had three babies, 2 average size and 1 whopper and the whopper was the easiest birth.

Growth scans can be wrong. My DS was predicted to be about 9lb but he didn't even hit 8lb!

There's a fairly large margin of error in scans, please don't stress yourself out over them.

I can only offer commiserations over your stretch marks, I sobbed for a very long time when I spotted mine. However they have now faded and are only noticeable under direct lighting and don't bother me anymore. I was planning on using a dermaroller on them but then I got pregnant again so I'm waiting until after this baby before attempting that!

Don't forget it's just a best guess estimate. My dc2 was estimated +99.99% and I was in the next day having him. Turns out they'd underestimated the fluid and he was 'only' 9lb.

Don't worry about your mummy stripes stretch marks. They fade over time and you stop seeing them after a while.
Good luck!

My DS was estimated to be over 9lbs and was actually 8lbs 1 and popped out no trouble. Try not to panic, you're almost there.

Mine were 9lb4 and 10lb5. No lasting damage from the birth - easily stitched tears with each, even DS1 with his 99th centile head.

I don’t think there’s a link between size of baby and damage from the birth - certainly, those I know with huge babies don’t seem to have fared any worse than those with smaller ones.

The thing with birth is that once their heads are out the rest is (usually) pretty easy regardless of the size of their bodies.

Late pregnancy with large babies is dreadful. Huge commiserations. For me, the birth was so much better than late bloody pregnancy. (With DS2, my placenta was also huge and the midwife said she’d never seen such a long cord and brought some colleagues in to have a sticky beak. I’m pretty tall, but I was comedy pregnant with him.)

8.5 is not huge. All my singletons were 9.5 lbs plus. Largest was son at 10lb 9oz. The worst delivery was the smallest at 9lb 6oz. Easiest was 9lb 13oz girl - but in fairness there probably wasn’t much resistance at that point!
Key is relaxation and not worrying. Size is left important.

8lb5 was my smallest , it's not massive by any means . My second was 8lb9 at 37 weeks then my 3rd was 11lb . Don't panic - you can do it :)

8lb5 isn’t huge, it’s a good healthy weight. Mine was 9,6 at 39weeks. Would theyvinduce uoubif you are so concerned? Try to relax, your body knows what it is doing, trust it .

I thought 8.5lb was a normal weight at 38/39 weeks?? My DS2 was 8lb when he was born at 35 weeks.

Birthweight is no indication of how easy or difficult your birth is going to be.

my sister struggled to deliver her 6lber and ended up with an episiotomy and forceps whereas I delivered a 10lb DS with no need for intervention and no lasting damage.

So try not to worry, the end of pregnancy is vile but baby will be here soon.

Don't worry, I was told I'd have a big baby with dd3. ds1 was 8lb 12 oz so I thought, how much bigger can she get? She was 10lb 2oz and she was by far the easiest labour. It just depends on the labour/baby/intervention needed.
Don't worry about it.

As others have said - growth scans aren't particularly right. My friend was told she'd have a small baby and then gave birth to a baby who was 9"1 a couple of days later.

They didn't tell me until I was in (advanced) labour with DS that he was down to be a big baby in my notes and, actually, I'm glad they didn't, because I'd have panicked. DS was 9"5, I am 5"3 and I had a superficial 'scratch' the midwife called it rather than a tear, I didn't need any stitches. The most important thing that my midwife told me is NOT to push when the head is coming out. Just to do short breaths and 'breathe' the baby out. You have to let the stretching happen rather than try and rush that bit!

But you will honestly be fine. You're just in that horrible last bit, don't worry about feeling like you hate the baby etc etc, once he/she is here this bit won't matter so much :) and although it feels like forever, you're so so close!!

Family member gave birth to her son at 13lb 7oz and she is barely 5ft.
Your body can do it and it they were worried then induction or c section could be discussed.

My second baby was 9lb 7 and it was honestly a much easier birth than my first at 6lb 11. The end stage of pregnancy is awful though so you have my sympathies, hope baby comes soon.

My baby was estimated to be 4kg at least at that stage - heading to 9lbs. He came out at a very average 3.3kg - 7.3lbs. The weight predictions are very often inaccurate. Try not to worry too much.

Definitely no correlation to size and tears - Dd was a petite 6lb 11oz and tore me to absolute shreds. I’m convinced it’s easier to birth a larger baby, as there’s more to push! Don’t panic.

Is this prediction from your fundal height or scan?

My fundal height estimated a 10lb baby!
Sent for growth scan and now predicted to be circa 7lbs!!!

I obviously just have a very big bump (as lots of people also like to tell me) and so misleading a baby will be a smallish size xx

Growth scans are rubbish my first they thought she would be well over 9lb but she was 7lb 3oz
DS didn't feel as big but was 8lb 15oz

I’m 5”1 and a size 8.. I had a 9lb4 (90th percentile) baby I’m pretty sure I had a similar post to you before I had mine! It was absolutely fine, yes I had some assistance with a ventouse and episiotomy, however a few months on and everything is all fine and back to normal and it wasn’t a dreadful birth (oh thank you epidural!). You can do it! Literally didn’t think I would be as well as I am so soon after the birth, but things really do bounce back. You will be surprised at the babies size compared to other babies on the ward + you will be super proud of yourself. It won’t be long and it will all be worth it.

I'm in the same position and my midwives de has reassured me that it makes little difference. Once the head is out, the rest is easy, and heads are much of a muchness. In fact my midwife says big babies can be easier because a) gravity is on your side and b) they don't have room to get themselves into awkward positions halfway down!

My very petite friend delivered her almost 10lb baby naturally, with little pain relief, and no significant tearing, etc.
My 9lb 5oz baby was a hell of a lot easier to deliver than my 4lb 11.5oz one.