Giving birth clashing with my sisters wedding

[Ann9456]

Hi everyone

I am currently 15 weeks pregnant but havent told anyone yet except my oh.
Im due 4 weeks before my sisters wedding.. I am so worried about telling my family for this reason. I dont want her to be upset with me or to feel like I am stealing the thunder of her wedding. What if the baby is late?! How am I going to squeeze into the size 8 bridesmaids dress she has already bought me?!
So anxious and worried!
X

Andrew six weeks a bit different to 2.

I would’ve been over to moon to have a brand new niece or nephew at my wedding. Imagine the lovely pictures of you in your dress cuddling a squishy newborn! It will make a special memory for them both in years to come

Meg’s - it’s not anxiety to take proper precautions with your baby - a 2 week old simply shouldn’t be circulating with large crowd who haven’t washed their hands etc before holding him. Many cultures don’t encourage circulating before 4-6 weeks. At two weeks their immune system is very very low and a simple cold virus could be very serious in them. By 4 weeks they are a bit more robust.

Seriously? I’d totally take me baby. I was so proud of my amazing newborns I would’ve let the postman hold them if he’d wanted

My newborn caught viral myocarditis (heart failure) off a cold virus from an early days visitor and nearly died so I am a bit biased I will admit! You also hear stories of newborn being kissed by people with cold sores etc. Yes, these things are rare and you shouldn’t live your life in fear but they do, unfortunately, happen so personally I just wouldn’t put my baby at risk next time

I was being a bit flippant, Rainbowsandflowers78 so I'm sorry if I came across as dismissive. You have every reason to be very cautious, but the OP did say that she was very anxious already so I was a bit concerned about adding to her concerns unnecessarily at this early stage. Of course appropriate precautions should be taken. I wouldn't expect her to allow anyone and everyone at the wedding to hold or kiss the baby, and certainly not without washing their hands. and I genuinely don't think that Daddy holding baby will spoil the bonding with Mummy. Of course babies are more robust at 4 weeks than 2 but only if they've been out and about a bit. They still haven't had their jabs then. I'm sorry you had such an awful time. I thought it went without saying that anyone with a cold or anything like that shouldn't get too near.

Dont worry megs - yes the op shouldn’t worry too much as these things are rare but just be mindful not to put pressure on herself to bring baby, be recovered enough to enjoy wedding, be happy to hand her over for oh for long lengths of time and be a size 8 aim to do it by all means but it’s ok if by 2/3 weeks after the birth you are still establishing breastfeeding, don’t want strangers holding your child and are a blubbering, milky, wobbly size 16 still! It’ll be ok though op - and megs is right you shouldn’t let worries stand in the way of you going and hopefully even enjoying it!

I was at a wedding last year where the bride's cousin brought her month-old and the groom's sister her two-month-old. They both got a lot of fuss but neither stole the show.

my pregnancy wasnt planned so it has come as a big surprise.

Oh bless you.

Then you can't be stealing her thunder as it wasn't deliberate.

Do you think if you tell them soon enough they can change the plans, bring it forward, put it back?

A sling is definitely a good idea. My original due date would have made DD 2 weeks old at DSIL's wedding & midwives said it would be fine to take her providing delivery was ok and she was in a sling & not being passed around.

my due date was 13 days after my brothers wedding. I have a very close family so the timing was terrible on both counts. We decided to pay for a videographer as their present so if we couldn’t make it we could still see the day, they in turn still kept us on our table and left a place setting for our baby. As it turned out, she was born 13 days late, I went to the wedding and gave birth that night!

My niece was due 2 days before my wedding. I was more worried that my brother wouldn't be able to come and give me away rather than the dress etc. In the end, DN was several weeks early, all of the family were there and the day was perfect.
A close friend was maid of honour at her sisters wedding and went into labour the day after the wedding.
As long as you tell the bride soon, she'll be fine. Time is the one thing that can't be bought last minute and the more time she has to put contingency plans in place, the better. Relax OP, it'll be wonderful :)

I love the way all the posters have decided that the OP will be breastfeeding! 'You will still be establishing breastfeeding' 'Of course you will be breastfeeding'

OP I'm sure your sister will understand but you do need to tell her asap.

If your baby is 2 weeks late then you will only be 2 weeks post partum. At that stage I was still bleeding really heavily, exhausted from the night feeds and really wouldn't have been able to commit to an all day and evening event. That's not to say oto wouldn't have gone to a wedding, but I would have left before the evening. You might be fine and much more resilient than I was but you won't know until it happens so.I think you need to prepare your sister for that possibility.

I had my DS 10 days before my sister's wedding and it wasn't an issue at all. I wasn't bridesmaid though.

If you choose to breastfeed just get a wrap front dress that you can pop your breast out of.

A sling is a great idea.

Congratulations I hope you have a happy & healthy pregnancy.
I’d imagine your sis & family will be delighted for you
The dress, well you’ll need a one. But I’m sure you’ll be a super bridesmaid

Oh don’t let lots of people hold your baby though at the wedding at 2-4 weeks they should still be protected from germs as they’ve low immunity and not had their jabs - you might find it difficult to stop your baby being passed around and I don’t agree with passing to your oh for the day as that’s bad

Please just do what you are comfortable with in regards to baby cuddles, we went to a wedding (post c section!) at 1 week old and 4 weeks old and she was absolutely fine with cuddles. I hate slings so we had the pram with us all day and people were lovely.

Even if your sister does get funny with you she will get over it, you can still be a bridesmaid and it's just one day!

My due date was the very day of my sisters wedding many many years ago. I recall being told my due date and thinking I’m sure I’m busy that day! Didn’t put two and two together for a few days.

My sister was both disappointed and elated with alternating emotions when I told her.

Nothing to be done but gently break the news soon. It will be fine. You should still be able to go and with a beautiful baby in your arms.

I'm sure your sister loves you and will be very excited for you. And because she's going to be an auntie. That's what loving sisters are like.

Offer to try and find another dress for the wedding so you're not stressing out about being stick thin immediately after giving birth. It's not going to happen, plus your boobs will likely be too big for it anyway. What you find to wear may not 'match', but I'm sure having you stand up with her looking lovely and presentable is more important than being 'matchy matchy' in pictures.

If it turns out to be a problem, then, well, she's not who you thought she was and I wouldn't worry about it for a second longer. Tell her you'll attend as a guest if she's truly more concerned with pictures than the fact that you'll be welcoming a new member of the family into the world.

Congratulations on your baby. xx