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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Giving birth clashing with my sisters wedding

69 replies

Ann9456 · 11/01/2018 22:54

Hi everyone

I am currently 15 weeks pregnant but havent told anyone yet except my oh.
Im due 4 weeks before my sisters wedding.. I am so worried about telling my family for this reason. I dont want her to be upset with me or to feel like I am stealing the thunder of her wedding. What if the baby is late?! How am I going to squeeze into the size 8 bridesmaids dress she has already bought me?!
So anxious and worried!
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Ohhgreat · 12/01/2018 07:16

Can you take the dress to a seamstress? I've seen bridesmaid dresses have a corset back added to allow them to be adjusted, and even stretchy panels in the sides! Would take the pressure off you and your sister. That way your presenting a solution when you tell your sister. Plus how cute to have a flower girl / page boy :)

Firstimer703 · 12/01/2018 07:43

There isn't really much you can do about it! You're just going to have to tell her straight and I'm sure she will understand and be happy for you.

HipNewName · 12/01/2018 08:59

I don’t agree with passing to your oh for the day as that’s bad for your bonding

It's bad for bonding for the father to hold the baby?

lookingforthecorkscrew · 12/01/2018 09:04

Isn’t it stressing you more to have this big secret hanging over you? The longer you leave it the more stressful it gets, and the less time you give your sister to rejig her wedding plans.

TwitterQueen1 · 12/01/2018 09:10

OP please don't stress about this! Your family will probably be delighted! Babies have their own timeline so there's absolutely nothing you can do about this and no-one can or should hold you accountable here.

The size 8 dress will probably be a bit of an issue but it's just a dress! Don't for a minute start thinking about how you will fit into it.

My great nephew was born on a Tuesday, on the Saturday, Mum, Dad and baby all came to a big Christmas do and stayed all day. Babies are portable. he/she can go to the church with you and everywhere else for that matter.

Congratulations

squiddled · 12/01/2018 09:17

I think it would be a miracle if you were able to get back into a size 8 dress even 4 weeks post pregnancy...

PlatinumDollFace · 12/01/2018 09:22

I was due 2 weeks before my sister's wedding and I was maid of honour. She already bought the dress too! Like you, I was so nervous to tell her and offered to step down. She was over the moon to have a little niece or nephew and wasn't at all fazed and she still wanted me to be Moh. My dd was 4 days late and was only 10 days old at the wedding. I was able to keep the dress as it was already floaty but I did need a panel put in and the seamstress was amazing!

Tell her as soon as possible so you are not stressing.

Butterymuffin · 12/01/2018 09:26

Just accept now that you will need a different dress. Takes the pressure off in that area at least. Otherwise you can just go ahead as a pp said and get your partner to hold baby during the service. It's all possible.

SingingSeuss · 12/01/2018 09:32

Congratulations and tell your sister!! She will be thrilled. I have been a heavily pregnant bridesmaid twice, just get a 12.

BedtimeTea · 12/01/2018 09:44

Ann9456 , I would tell her that you have a feeling that you will probably not fit in the dress that she bought, but not to worry as you will buy a new dress that is as close to the original as possible.

Congratulations!

Merrz · 12/01/2018 10:05

I would honestly just tell your family, i think the longer you leave it the worse it'll be.
I can almost relate to this, my bridesmaid was very pregnant at my wedding. She was my best friend since pre-school, i only had 1 bridesmaid. When she told me i must admit i was initially a bit p'd, the thought that she wouldn't be drinking or anything at my henny and looking so pregnant on the day also that her attentions would be more on her baby soon arriving rather than my wedding were a bit annoying (I now realise how selfish that is)
But it really made no difference whatsoever and looking back now i'm just glad that she was there by my side, it really didn't matter that she was pregnant or not drinking or had to have a different dress than i planned.
Your sister might be a bit annoyed/jealous, she's probably in the 'nothing in the world is as important as my wedding right now' zone haha. But at the end of the day you're still her sister and i can guarantee she'll be pleased for you in the long run and i bet she'll just want you with her (baby too) whatever you look like. It might be a good shout to offer to buy another dress though and at least you're the only bridesmaid so you don't have to worry about getting something that matches others. Also at a month old baby is probably going to be sleeping most of the time, is it an option to have a room at the wedding venue? Could you maybe bring someone to babysit who isn't going to be at the wedding so they can stay in the room with baby and you can just go back and forth to the room rather than having baby passed round guests the whole day? You're sister might also prefer this so baby isn't taking the limelight?!

RubyBoots7 · 12/01/2018 11:03

Having a baby isn't stealing her limelight, they're completely different things! :)
It's not like you're asking if it's okay to have your own wedding two weeks before hers!

Aside from getting a bigger dress, I can't see what the issue is? I'm due to be a BM a couple of weeks after DD. It's no problem at all, I'm just getting a big dress and having it taken in accordingly a few days before (prob not very much!!). DH will be at wedding and between us it'll be absolutely fine looking after baby. If baby cries during ceremony, DH will take them out for a bit. Planning to bf and don't see why you can't do this at wedding (and with appropriate dress). The only reason I wouldn't be there is if I was physically giving birth at the same time. No one in the wedding party has any issues with it. Just tell your sister, I think you'll be surprised about how she actually feels!

whiskyowl · 12/01/2018 12:49

I think provided you are sensitive to the idea that this is her day, not yours, there is no reason you can't turn up with new baby in tow, and have a great time celebrating her wedding. It'll only be an issue if you are the kind of person who would use a small child to take attention away from the bride, and you sound far too sane and nice to do that.

Allgirlskidsanddogs · 12/01/2018 12:56

I would tell her sooner rather than later. I’d offer to step down or buy a replacement dress, which ever she prefers.

Congratulations and good luck.

Andrewofgg · 12/01/2018 13:18

No real advice but and I can't get my head round the idea that somebody else, OH or not, holding your baby for the length of the wedding will be bad for bonding.

SandAndSea · 12/01/2018 13:29

oh blimey don't worry about it!

dress schmess. you're having a baby. Enjoy!

^^ My thoughts exactly! I'm engaged atm and I would be thrilled for you. If she's not, she's a bridezilla, in which case, it's good to know sooner rather than later.

Just tell her.

dragoncave · 12/01/2018 14:07

Just tell her she is becoming an aunty as soon as you are happy to share. Congratulations!

Rainbowsandflowers78 · 12/01/2018 14:08

Andrew - the whole day - not just the hour!

Rainbowsandflowers78 · 12/01/2018 14:09

Most mums don’t leave their baby for 10-12 hours 2 weeks after giving birth! Hence why I don’t think she should agree to leave her baby before she’s had it as she’ll probably not want to be parted for long with it once it’s born (obviously she can leave it with her oh during important bits!)

gillybeanz · 12/01/2018 14:14

It's not stealing her thunder at all, weddings and births are totally different.
unless you give birth at her wedding.
The bridesmaid dress should be simple enough you'll just need to swap for a bigger size/ and go for regular fittings after the birth.

Mxyzptlk · 12/01/2018 14:33

Tell her as a bad news / good news.
Bad news first "I may not be able to wear the dress".......

OlennasWimple · 12/01/2018 14:40

"Stealing her thunder" would be getting married yourself two weeks before he wedding and inviting all the same people to attend. Not having a baby

sirlee66 · 12/01/2018 14:44

Your not the first. You won't be the last. Offer to pay for a new Flexi bridesmaid dress that she likes.

Megs4x3 · 12/01/2018 15:16

Erm, it's not as if you got pregnant to spoil her day deliberately is it? It will work out and it you take the baby to the wedding s/he won't die because nasty germy people coo over them. (And baby needs to bond with Daddy as well as Mummy). Sorry folks, but isn't OP anxious enough as it is without piling more things on her to worry about at this point?
Congratulations OP. I hope you have lots of time to enjoy your pregnancy and all goes well with the wedding. There are solutions to it all. :-)

Andrewofgg · 12/01/2018 16:49

Rainbows We left out (bf) DS for a long day with friends at six weeks - a funeral we could not miss - and he remained bonded to us.

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