40+ pregnancies

[Alibaba2]

Hello,

Are there any 40+ pregnant women on here?

I’m not pg but have been ttc for 18 months and feeling pretty down.

How long did it take you to conceive? Did you have any miscarriages while ttc?

Is there anything you did differently the month you conceived?

Did any of you have short cycles or spotting at end of cycle?

Thanks in advance.

Hi Alibaba

Not sure I have too much advice to give but I am happy to share my story (which has not yet ended) with you.
Firstly, it is totally understandable to feel down; ttc can be extremely stressful and the emotions complex (I used to facilitate a fertility support group)
Have you been pregnant in the past?
Have you visited your GP for a referral to see a fertility consultant?

I had my first child at the age of 32 (nine months ttc). Thought nothing of it; my friends were having children in their late 30's; it looked easy enough plus I had struggled with pnd and there were various family issues taking place at the time of her birth so I put ttc dc2 on the back burner.
TTC again at the age of 37....well it didn't happen and after 9 months or so of ttc, I visited my GP and requested a referral to the local fertility clinic having stated that my cycles had become shorter and believing that I was showing symptoms of the perimenopause.
Result: I had low ovarian reserve, amh 3.2 but shockingly my fsh measurement indicated that I was nigh on menopausal! In all honesty I didn't see this coming and thought it might be to do with dh who is 15 years older than me...nope nothing wrong with him.
Despite the odds managed to conceive just over 2 years later and gave birth to dd2 just before my 40th birthday. Then, totally out of the blue (but had not been taking precautions due to low fertility diagnosis), I became pregnant with dc3 when dd2 was 1 (so at 41)....I lost dc3 (my little boy at 22 weeks -placenta issues)...and this was the hardest thing I have ever faced in my life. So more or less gave up but always felt that despite never ever being able to replace my son, that something was missing (which it was) but knew that the odds of me becoming pregnant again were miniscule (my son would have been 3 this June, if he had survived) I had been using alcohol as a crutch; drinking far more than was good for me; my coping mechanism...so I attended counselling for my own sake and the sake of my dcs/dh. Benefiting from the counselling, I entered a bit of a health kick (mainly cutting out the alcohol and high sugar diet), walking often and generally getting fitter and lost nearly two stone Now I found that I was dealing a little better with my grief and trying to open a new chapter in my life; attending interviews to try and get work, taking up a hobby which I have found very life enhancing and trying to make plans for the future again (for two years after the loss of my ds, I was in a very dark tunnel)Fast forward to July 2017, just before my eldest dds birthday, I discovered that I was pregnant again...well...still am...at the moment (this is how it feels). DD3 is due in March... one month before my 44th birthday...I am hoping and praying she will be born living, though still cant quite believe it or envisage actually giving birth to another live birthday. That's my story; a rollercoaster...this will be last pregnancy whatever happens. I obviously can't predict what will happen for you...but please look to your support network in whatever form that might take (even writing down your feelings) and seek some medical advice - that would be my advice. Wishing you all the very best x

P.S...sorry about the enormous post...didn't realise it was going to be that long! Also I did take various supplements when ttc dc2 but only after visiting the fertility consultant and identifying my particular issue.

Thanks User. I really appreciate you writing and needed to hear some Rainbow stories.

Firstly, I’m so sorry for the loss of your boy. That must have been so traumatic and I guess life is never the same afterwards.

Glad that you got pg (against the odds) and fingers crossed for March!

I had DD1 at 33 and DD2 At 35. Both conceived first/second cycle. I’m now 42. I lost a pg 18 months ago and have been trying ever since. I’ve had all the tests and everything is fine. There’s not really anything to fix.

I’m just about to get my period now so this is the really hard bit.

In the 2 years you were ttc, did you get any BFPs? I haven’t had any but then I rarely test.

Hi Alibaba...Yes, I know how it is when you know your period is looming. No, I am sure I didn't get any BFP in those two years as I knew my cycle inside out though my cycle length did vary but I am pretty sure I would have known. I am sorry to hear about your loss too x It is a bit of a cliché but I became pregnant the fourth time when I had come to terms (as much as I could do) with not having anymore children...I don't know if it threw my body into a relaxed mode: there is no exact science but it was as if I had moved on...and was concentrating more or me. There is so much pressure surrounding this: the pressure to relax: to eat well etc. etc. I did these things but I did them more for me in the end if that makes sense whereas when ttc dc2 I put pressure on myself to do all of these things with the sole intention of ttc and there again I had to reach an acceptance that I may end up with one child; it was a shift in mindset. Wishing you all the best and hopefully some more ladies will come along soon with their own stories x

Hi Alibaba, I am 42 and just found out I am pregnant. I have 2 children, aged 5 and 3.5 so I had my first child at 38 (after a miscarriage) and my second at 39. My pregnancies are classed as high risk because of weight, blood pressure, borderline diabetes, so I know there is a big chance this pregnancy won’t stick but I wanted to reply as an example of someone getting pregnant after 40 who is not an example of 42-but-body-of-a-32-yr-old. We weren’t actively trying in the same way as when I had my first 2, but we weren’t taking precautions either as we hadn’t yet made the decision to formally stop babymaking, so I can’t say that I did anything different or special or anything - I thought my baby days were more likely to be over and am genuinely surprised. But then, women have had babies in their 40s forever - but in the past it was more likely to be their 12th (like my granny!) than their 3rd! So i think women these days are much better-equipped to have pregnancies in our 40s. I’m sorry to read about the heartbreaking losses on this thread - Fingers crossed for you OP and I wish everyone all the best.

Congrats Second and thanks for replying! Good luck x

There's a long-running series of support threads for over 40 TTC

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/2862131-40-ttc-bring-on-the-bfps

I started trying to conceive in April, three months before my 41st birthday. Got pregnant in July when I turned 41, but had a very early miscarriage (about 5 weeks). Bled for 11 days then monitored for ovulation using the test sticks. Ovulation test was positively 10 days after the mc bleeding stopped and I conceived then. I'm now 23.5 weeks and baby is due beginning of May. I have an 11 year old already.

Hi Alibaba, I’m 42 (43 in April) and am just over 6 weeks pregnant with my first child.. I came off the pill in July after being on it for over 20 years and thought it would probably take a while, if at all! It took 4 and a half months to conceive and, so far, all is well! We are naturally a bit cautious but also excited very grateful to be in this position. Sending very best wishes to you and other posters on here x