How long to wait before TTC DC2?

[WriteAGoodOne]

DC1 is 7 weeks old.

How long is medically necessary or ideal before trying again?

My Midwife says 1 year because I had a third degree tear during the pushing stage. Is that true?

Hi, congratulations on your beautiful baby! Are you wanting a second one soon!?! Ds is 10 months old and I didn't have as bad an injury as you and I still need longer! I think it takes your body 12 months to recover minimally. I had baby fever from time to time but in reality I know it would be too soon. Some days I don't even know if I wasn't another, I go from one extreme to the next! I have recently decided I would like to try again but not yet. People do have babies sooner and some go fine but you can risk doing worse injury to yourself doesn't allowing the time to heal.

want

not allowing that should say

Pass I would like another one and then DH has promised to get the snip.

Not sure how wise I'm being though!

I'm finding this all very easy.

Perhaps I should wait until he starts answering me back before I decide either way

I was also advised to wait a year after a third degree turn. It's up to you but there are medically higher risks with births too close together. The safest time period is something like waiting at least two years, but people obviously make their own decisions based on other factors.

www.babycentre.co.uk/x560503/is-it-dangerous-to-have-several-babies-close-together

This may help.

I would let yourself heal. Hold the snip off for a year or so. See how you feel when your baby is closer to a year maybe? You'll stil be feeling all the effects of hormones and your body needs time to heal. You also need time to enjoy baby number 1 and rest in between. Do you have a little time to wait?

Also just because baby number 1 is easy doesn't mean baby number 2 would be. You have to factor in all scenarios. My first has been a difficult baby and I haven't enjoyed the baby stage so if I go on to have another I'm hoping I'll get the angel baby second time around around as I'm abit traumatised still! I love ds more than life itself though and wouldn't change him for the world.

I was already pregnant with DC2 when DC1 was 7 weeks. 😊

I didn't have a third degree tear, best speak to your G.P.

around x1

Unless there is a really pressing reason to ttc now, I'd hold off. An easy newborn often turns into a more challenging baby later and the baby fever of the early weeks passes. Your body does need time to recover from pregnancy and childbirth, it takes a toll.

Unless there is a really pressing reason to ttc now, I'd hold off. An easy newborn often turns into a more challenging baby later and the baby fever of the early weeks passes. Your body does need time to recover from pregnancy and childbirth, it takes a toll.

Pass It's strange because sometimes I'm like "No, definitely never want another one. DS is perfect, I will never be this lucky again. He's slept through 12 hours from birth".

And other times I can't wait to get those exciting two lines of a pregnancy test, and go to all the scans etc. Maybe it's the excitement of TTC?

Lord knows why, I suffered horrendously with my pregnancy. HG all the way through. But I loved the scans and bump and still looked good.

I've experienced a lot of loss too, and often wonder why on Earth id put myself through that again.

I also have PCOS and Endometriosis to boot, so often feel time is ticking with my fertility (despite my young age) and to just pop another out ASAP and be done with it.

Your body does need time to recover from pregnancy and childbirth, it takes a toll

Realistically I know you're right there. But I have to remind myself of this because I physically feel the best I have in years. I don't feel an ounce of tiredness and I have so much energy and happiness. T'was not like this before DS

I don't mean to rain on your parade, but i felt GREAT for a while after childbirth as well. The hormones, the euphoria of surviving it all/snuggly baby etc can be pretty powerful. Let's say that, predictably, it didn't last.

Just don't make any life-changing decisions so hard on the heels of this major change, is all I'm saying. Give yourself a bit of space to explore the new normal, because the chances are there are some rough spots ahead.

No idea on how long is medically advised. I'd say (medical advice aside) it's different for everyone.
We had our first child in September 2015, and we both agreed we don't want another until ds is 5/ at school. We feel a 5 year age gap is best for us, and no way would we even consider another before that time.
But that's our personal preference. Ultimately it's up to you.

WriteAGoodOne Do you have a lot of support in terms of family/friends and babysitters? I think that makes a difference as well. Me and dh have none and that has made it a lot more difficult . Similarly to another poster I was abit euphoric at the beginning as well but these feeling can swiftly change. I found the novelty wore off for me he longer I've been off work and on own with a baby all day, it can get lonely. Now ds is 10 month old I'm dying to go eat to work and get some adult interaction. I also enjoyed Christmas being able to fit into my clothes and eaf and drink what I want. I hated being pregnant but a lot like it so everybody is different.

feelings

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back that should say not eat!

Thank you for the replies

I have 0 friends and family nearby. I have the in laws 5 minutes down the road but we don't really talk

I've never had him stay with anyone yet. He's always with me.

Newborns are easy though, they stay where you put them, don't embarrass you in public, they don't need meals and snacks, dressing them isn't like trying to get an octopus into a carrier bag.. Can you tell i have a toddler?

Babies are so adorable and easy that I would have been delighted to have another when ds1 was under 12 months. However the reality of being heavily pregnant with a still very dependent older baby and then having a newborn and the young toddler not really being old enough to do anything themselves would definitely be tougher than the dream! Ds1 is 3 in April, ds2 is 7 weeks, ds1 adores his baby brother and can feed himself, get me nappies, Wipes, get into his own car seat, etc, and it's still tough going, if he was 12-18 months I would find it very very difficult.

I have never been broodier than I was in the weeks immediately following DC1’s birth. I definitely think it’s hormonal. I’m also really glad we waited for that feeling to pass and made a rational, sensible (for us) decision to wait a while before TTC again.

Agree with the pp that a well behaved newborn that sleeps is completely different to a high maintenance toddler -and even the best behaved toddlers are knackering! Mine is genuinely an absolute delight but I’m still completely and utterly exhausted every day and I’m really pleased we’ll have an age gap of a couple of years.

Why not wait six months and see how you feel then? You would still have a small age gap but give your body chance to recover for a bit and spend some time with your baby.

Do you not have follow up appointments with your consultant and physio to recover from the tear? If not, you should do and they will be the people who can tell you how well you are recovering and about having another child. You might be offered an ELCS next time because of your tear although recovering from one and having a toddler is another challenge of its own.

I have small age gaps and find it works really well for me but it isn’t for everyone. I’d still wait six months in your position and see how I felt about things then.

If you want another go for it. I had a c section on dc1 and got pregnant when she was just 4 months. There is 13 months between them, I had no problems in pregnancy and they are great friends now. I have dc3 now too so 3 under 4 and 4 months and I am fine and kids are all great. It's lovely to have them grow up together.