Gender shock

[Lotsalotsagiggles]

Hey

Had my 21 week scan today and gender was a complete shock

Had my hurt set on a girl and girls run through the family so wasn't at all expecting it to be a boy

I had names and nursery etc planned and now feel so incredibly guilty that I feel so disappointed

Please tell me it passes? I'll of course love my child, just need to get head around it being different to what I've dreamt of

I’m a total idiot and will share my experiences. With baby no 1 I wanted a girl so much but had a boy. With baby no 2 I was a total convert and wanted another boy. I had a girl. The disappointment doesn’t last, they are both sublime.

By baby no 3 I didn’t care less

Bored-actually this is not trivial. It is a recognised mental health issue in pregnancy. It is not trivialising PND (which women many years ago were told to get on with) it is recognising that this is something that should not be ridiculed either. Again, just because you don’t know about it, understand or, are deliberately ignorant or nasty, doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

I normally have no time for these types of threads, but actually I can sort of sympathise with the OP. When I was pregnant with DC2, I had the strongest gut instinct it was a girl. I just ‘knew’ it, in the way you do sometimes. DC1 really wanted a little sister, and I spent 20 weeks imagining 2 little girls playing together, growing up together.
When we went in for the 20 week scan, instantly, there was a little willy, clear as day! We were both totally taken by surprise, and it took me a little bit of mental adjustment to reconfigure all those daydreams. It was nothing to do with disappointment - I’d had 3 miscarriages by then (including one where I nearly bled out) and DC2 was so indescribably wanted, I can’t even explain it. I was so utterly grateful to be pregnant, it took me months and months to believe I’d get to actually bring home a baby this time. So I really, truly wasn’t remotely disappointed - he just wasn’t what I’d expected!
As soon as I’d had a bit of time to get used to it, I was over the moon that he was a boy, couldn’t imagine wanting him any other way. I spent the first 6 months after he was born feeling like I was going to cry because I was just so overjoyed to have him. He’s 17 months now and he’s amazing, he adores his big sibling and vice versa, he makes us laugh every day. He’s just a joy in every way (well, mostly - he is a toddler, after all). He is, in my totally unbiased view, the most scrumptious little boy in the world. You’ll be fine, OP, when he’s here you’ll love him so much you’ll wonder why you ever wanted a girl.