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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Midwife is a bit... useless

46 replies

Paperchains1986 · 20/12/2017 12:38

My midwife is a bit useless. She is scatty as anything, resends me for blood tests I've had, cancels apps I don't need which she has booked, then forgets. Texts me with useless questions which I've already told her. I text her the Friday as I couldn't keep water done for some advice but still havent heard back from her. All my dates seem wrong as each scan tells me a different due date which I'm worried about. She text me to come in urgently a few weeks ago making me think something was wrong but she had forgotten she'd already seen us the week before so thought we needed another antenatal appt that we didn't.

This is my first and I've no idea what's going on and feel more confused than ever now.

What can I do? Help!

OP posts:

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Original poster

Paperchains1986 · 20/12/2017 12:39

sorry for typos! Forgot to preview

OP posts:

gryffen · 20/12/2017 12:47

Quite honestly speak to her supervisor and get changed to a different one.

A illprepared midwife is one I won't let near me, but also a danger and concern if she can't keep ontop of basic information.

Beakyplinders · 20/12/2017 13:04

That sounds terrible and the complete opposite to mine.

I would definitely raise your concerns with someone higher as her job is a serious one and she needs to be more on the ball than that.

RestingGrinchFace · 20/12/2017 13:07

You should push for a different one. That's just really bad service.

NerNerNerNerBATMAN · 20/12/2017 13:13

Wow I thought mine was bad but yours is way worse. Absolutely ask for a different one. I had to raise concerns in previous pregnancy about midwife and felt they dealt with it really well.

GlitterRollerSkate · 20/12/2017 13:16

My midwife was scatty as fuck. She'd text me the morning of appointments asking what time I was seeing her. One appointment was in 30 mins. But credit where it's due she was bloody spot on when shit went down. She had me in hospital within an hour. Sadly they are so over worked and under paid that they really don't know their arse from their elbow. Poor thing was even seeing me in her lunch break as she had no appointments left. She would always get back to me though. She's my midwife this time again.

The not getting back to you is pretty worrying. If she doesn't make you feel comfortable and safe then I'd request a new one.

Hotpinkangel19 · 20/12/2017 13:17

My midwife told me it was fine to take Lemsip as it was just paracetamol. 😳

Original poster

Paperchains1986 · 20/12/2017 13:35

Can you not take Lemsip? I have laryngitis at the moment and have been taking paracetamol regularly. I got it from trauma to my larynx from vomiting up the water last week.

Being British, I feel awkward asking for a new one. Bad, isn't it. I will though. Perhaps I'll check:
(A) what she's like at my 9th Jan appt which is my 16 week appt (I'll be 18+1 by then according to latest scan)
(B) Speak to her informally to let her know my concerns about not getting back to me, Perhaps she's out the country or something

If it doesn't change and I've told her my concerns then I'll feel better about going over her head I think.

Glitter, I get the feeling, given the chance, mine would be on it completely and has clearly been doing it for years and years. I suspect it's being overworked but she is making more work for herself by rebooking appts etc so wish she'd just review notes more carefully rather than relying on her memory which is shot with seeing so many women at one time probably. I really did think something was wrong when she said for me to come in urgently the best day and warned my mum and MIL before the appt as I was not quite 12 weeks then. She is causing a lot of worry!

OP posts:

DontCallMeJohnBoy · 20/12/2017 14:07

Paperchains I was reading about paracetamol last night as DS kindly gave me his cold. You can take paracetamol but take the smallest amount you can get away with for the shortest time possible. I'm taking half of one tablet to get through work.

With lemsip I guess it's the other ingredients (you can't have paracetamol and caffeine / codeine or ibuprofen) and the fact that you'd be reluctant to only have a few mouthfuls which is essentially what the guidelines would mean.

I hope you manage to get a new decent midwife

Hotpinkangel19 · 20/12/2017 17:31

No I think it's the decongestant in it... I have been taking them until I found this out and got quite worried ☹️

Mummyme87 · 20/12/2017 17:31

You can’t have lemsip as contains phenylepherine which can cause birth defects (rare) and reduces blood flow (therefore reduces oxygen to baby)

PotteringAlong · 20/12/2017 17:36

No, you can’t have lempsip when pregnant or breastfeeding.

Toasttea · 20/12/2017 17:46

Good god! Please ask for another midwife!

ThinkOfAWittyNameLater · 20/12/2017 17:51

You can definitely take paracetamol tablets - the normal dosage is fine as pill form is controlled. I was prescribed them during last pregnancy (last year) and popped them like they were going out of fashion still do tbh

I wouldn't take lemsip. Whilst it's basically paracetamol + caffeine they might have decongestants in there which aren't recommended.

ThinkOfAWittyNameLater · 20/12/2017 17:53

Err... meant to say re: your original question...

Ring the supervisor of midwives (they have to give you contact details at booking appointment - probably listed in your notes somewhere) and ask for a new midwife and explain why. This is your first baby - you need good, consistent support.

Hotpinkangel19 · 20/12/2017 17:57

@Mummyme87 Now I'm even more scared... what have I done to her? I felt rubbish and joked with her that my husband was okay because he can have lemsip etc, and she told me it was fine for me to have lemsip as long as they were not the max ones... so I did, and I thought she'd know what was okay or not. Should I see a doctor?

Mummyme87 · 20/12/2017 18:02

Don’t fret about it. The risks with phenylepherine and birth defects and very rare (slightly higher risk with smokers) and it’s in the first 13weeks. To be fair you probably need a large amount to do any kind of harm. Nothing anyone can do about it, just don’t take anymore. Stick to the paracetamol and hot water with lemon and honey 👍

Also a pp suggested speaking to supervisor of midwives, they don’t exist anymore so don’t try that. If you are unhappy with your midwife, call your maternitynubit and ask to speak to the matron/manager of community services

Ninjamilo · 20/12/2017 18:11

How many scans have you had so far for them to be so wrong on due date?

I knew exactly when I'd conceived and my 12 week scan was spot on, so I'd be questioning them around that.

I'm 22 weeks now and have only seen my midwife twice - not due to see her again until mid Jan, I thought that was normal? But you seem to have had a lot of contact with yours.

Things like not keeping water down I'd just give the doctor a call, see if there's anything they can do as the midwife wouldn't be able to prescribe anything anyway.

I'd be asking to swap if I felt that unconfident in them though!

Original poster

Paperchains1986 · 20/12/2017 18:39

Ninjamilo

Taking the first date of my last period, I was 10+5 weeks for my first scan (had some bleeding and 111 sent me to A&E. At that scan they said I was 9+4. Then I had my 12 week scan just over 3 weeks later and measured me at 13 +4. I know I conceived either on the 21st or 22nd Sept so totally confused about dates.

I'm overweight so concerned about GD.

I've had loads of contact because she keeps getting us in for unnecessary bloody appts and blood tests as she either forgets we've seen her or has lost the results etc. This being my first, I'm just doing what she says but I'm second guessing everything now.

I've not taken Lemsip but had no idea I couldn't so will file that under the growing list of things I can't do while growing a human... gets longer everyday. Essential oils, anyone??

OP posts:

Original poster

Paperchains1986 · 20/12/2017 18:43

I wasn't wanting a prescription, more just tips on staying hydrated as I had read that lots of women struggle with keeping plain water down weirdly. I was getting dehydrated so text my midwife for some support but didn't hear back so was wondering whether that was normal if busy etc

OP posts:

gryffen · 20/12/2017 19:25

Hydration tips I would suggest are Rehydrat (check if allowed!!!!) Or Diaoralyte (bogging but works)

Squash, Chrystal Lite is good if you can find it (powdered US drink) and Gatorade is better than Lucozade.

Ninjamilo · 20/12/2017 19:26

Earlier scans can be inaccurate so I wouldn't worry too much about the due date not matching - go by the 12 week one 😊 Does that match your last period date?

Round here it's not normal to even have a mobile number for your midwife, or even see the same one to be honest! There's a list on the NHS website which shows normal appointments, so that might put your mind at rest a bit

Original poster

Paperchains1986 · 30/12/2017 21:11

Update!

I'm now 16+6, next antenatal appt is on 9th Jan when I'll be just over 18 weeks. My 20 week scan isn't yet booked in. Is this a problem? Should I be chasing the midwife to get a date in the diary?

How crucial is it that the scan is around the 20 week mark. I know there's a window for the 12week scan, is it the same for the anomaly 20 week scan?

Midwife got back to me finally about the vomiting up water. She said 'Poor you'... so not that helpful!

OP posts:

skyofdiamonds · 30/12/2017 22:55

It should be done before 20+6.
NHS trusts are audited to ensure that this happens as much as possible (if you rearrange due to yourself not being able to make it then it can go over).

Goodgirl7 · 30/12/2017 22:56

This sounds like my nightmare. You don’t need the stress on top of this being your first baby, ring up and swap to a new one.

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