Buying stuff for first baby - what do you really need and when?

[lalaa]

I'm 20 weeks pregnant and am starting to think about exactly what I'm going to need when my baby arrives. I'm on a tight budget and don't want to buy stuff until I really need to, but I do want to be prepared - don't fancy shopping for pushchairs, baby clothes, etc, etc once the baby is actually here and don't want to leave it so late that I'm just too big to get it all done.

I've read loads of books and magazines and while some of it is helpful, there's not a consistent approach, and I feel like some of them are just on a major selling crusade. My gut feel is that I don't really need all that much for when the baby arrives. I could really do with pointers as to what is crucial and when other people got it all together!

Thanks :-)

I know this isn't the usual "baby stuff" but as you must be due in the witer, a decent, waterproof coat with hood!! It's impossible to hold a brolly and push a buggy for more than a few feet!! Other things, car seat/pram, plenty of vests and babygrows. I wouldn't bother getting outfits as they live in b/grows and if you do get them dressed up they'll chuck up on it in 5 mins anyway! Plenty of breastpads if b/feeding or some bottles and some way of sterilizing.
Non essentials but dead handy, cordless phone and remote control for TV! So you/ baby dont have to get up when feeding. Oh and a dh who will see to your every whim! I wish!!

Basically you need something for the baby to wear, somewhere for them to sleep, something to travel in, some way of feeding and something to "play" with (more for the parents at first really!)

Obviously I went out and blew a fortune on babythings, deciding I needed everything and it all had to match. Pregnancy does something to your brain cells I think...!

Anyway, on my "must have" list are:

Muslin squares - protect your clothing, mop up a multitude of messes, act as emergency bibs, can be made into a sun hat, sun shade, comforter...

Pram, cot, carseat... don't skimp too much on these. They get a lot of use! If getting a 2nd hand cot, buy a new mattress.

Loved my baby sling - try to borrow one.

Rocking seat (not a flimsy bouncing one): last for ages. Can use it for weaning at 6 months and napping/playing in when small. Can add this to the "borrow" list, obviously.

Changing table : I used an Ivar desk from Ikea with a mat on which worked well. I also liked the one they have that turns into a chest of drawers with a shelf on top when the baby has outgrown the table.

Bedding: I went for a "one on, one dirty, one clean" approach so bought 3 of everything (fitted sheets, flat sheets and blankets)

Feeding equipment : If your breastfeeding (It's fast, always there, always warm, helps shift the pregnancy weight and is free!) you'll need breastpads & some Kamillosan cream in case of sore nipples. Later you may want a pump in which case you'll need most of the equipment for Bottle feeding... a steriliser, bottles, teats, supply of formula.

Baby Listener : depending on the size of your house really. In a small flat you can hear your baby from everywhere and may not need one, in a house you may not be able to hear in some rooms. The rechargable "walkabout" ones are good.

Change bag (can be just an ordinary rucksack. Preferably large!) I also love my "baby box", a big plastic box with a lid and handle which I store nappies etc in downstairs and also when we go visiting relatives & friends.

Cute First Bear as a momento
Ditto for cure First Outfit.

Don't bother with:

Baby bath: not used much, a real pain. Borrow one or get a polystyrene ball filled bath float.

Top & Tail bowl : any bowl will do.

Moses Basket : Borrow one if you can - you'll only use it for 3 months and thenit will be in your loft.

Too many clothes : You may well get a lot as presents! Have some vests & some sleepsuits. However, you'll need more of these than you think - it's amazing how much mess a newborn baby can make eating/sleeping/filling nappies!

I could go on for ever on this subject actually but I'll restrain myself. Check online for bargains (Try here for example.

I had this problem and I think I did quite well - I spent less than £250 and that included a big brand new cot (a bargain at 79 Euros or about £50) and a load of super-duper reusable napppies.

Firstly you will need a pram - this can double as a cradle if you don't find a bargain cot in time. I bought a 2 in 1 pram/pushchair second hand from an ad in the paper - you should look out for these as many people end up selling ones that are as good as new because they wanted a light weight one/three wheeler or something. I also bought a second hand car-seat although many people say you shouldn't (it's a rear facing one though so all of the strain goes on the seat-belt - I think this is a conspiracy to sell more car seats)

You don't need too many clothes initially - I had just 3 bodysuits, a long sleeved outfit thing, some socks and a jacket. Friends and family will buy at least some clothes and if you have to, baby clothes are easy enough to wash by hand.

Other things that you need are nappies, baby-lotion, nappy cream if you want it, a changing mat and either cotton wool or baby wipes (or a good supply of flannels) - you don't need shampoo or anything like that, but newborn babies' skin can be quite dry so some lotion is useful. I bought several white flannels which are really handy and can double as little towels - as I wash nappies every day these just go in with them. Bibs too are handy though again not essential the first week (but that'll go very quickly!)

If you don't have a car seat, then a bouncy chair is also very useful, but not essential (it was for me though as baby is a real wriggler and could easily wriggle off the settee).

I also bought two bottles, a microwave sterilizer, a bottle washer and some formula just in case. Haven't used the formula, but sometimes give her a drink of sugar water when I think she needs it.

Finally I wish someone had told me to buy breast pads before she was born - if you get cracked nipples they really help to keep them dry and also act as little cushions!

Just read soup dragon's list and realised I had forgotten a baby blanket (someone gave me one) - I never did understand why people can't just use a changing mat on the floor instead of a changing table though!

So agree about buying second hand and borrowing. I wish I'd had a proper pram for the first few months as I hated pushing my pushchair and not being able to see my precious baby and I wanted him lifted away from traffic fumes and cosily protected from draughts - HOWEVER - you do need to swap to a pushchair for convenience and to let the baby sit up and see, so I wish I'd bought a cheap and not neccesarily v trendy pram with a mattress. I also loved my baby gym and an activity arch for over the pushchair pram for him to look at when we were out. Bouncy chair vital for putting him in while I had a shower and I liked the listening device. NCT sales are just brilliant ways of buying second hand stuff and bug all your friends with babies for stuff. Most of it is outgrown so quickly and you'll regret spending a fortune. A dummy can be very useful! You can't have enough nappies and you need wipes. I have never used baby lotion or baby oil (what is that for, anyway?) Baby bath is also unnecessary IMO. I use aqueous cream on his little face when it gets a bit dribble sore. My ds hated his moses basket, wish I hadn't bothered and just gone straight for the cot - I sometimes wish I'd got a cot-bed so it would last longer.

Lalaa, basically - beg, steal, or borrow whatever you can! Seriously, have a look here
nct and click on News, where it lists by area all the NCT nearly new sales that are up and coming.

Ditto whoever said about getting a cordless phone, I wish I'd had one when I was breastfeeding!

Aloha, sorry, didn't see your post about NCT

I think there is a tread somewhere on what not to buy. I bought far too much baby bath and Sudocreme. I still haven't finished the Sudecreme and DD is over 2 yrs old. I never had a moses basket but I was given a second hand carry cot that lasted over 6 months.
Lots of people buy you clothes so just get the essentials eg vests, sleepsuits etc. I did forget to buy DD a coat though. When I left work I asked for bathtime stuff as it is the tradition there.

The most useful things were
Ruck sac style hand bag
flannels (for drying her wet bum once it was clean as they are kind on soft skin),
large thin baby shawl, it was used for loads things, including a cover up when feeding, an emergency sun shade or bib
Play gym I couldn'd do without it
Bouncy chair £13 Toys R Us, mine will last 2 children
Mothercare microwavable bottles - fantastic things

Basically there are a lot of fantastic items that you can buy but you don't need it depends on your life style. I took a while to buy stuff and this spread the cose and pleasure.Have a lovely time collecting together your baby things.

Film for camera, large bottle of something alcoholic and large box of cohcolates!!! Oh and batteries for your camera, when dd1 was born, film fine but baterries went at the crucial few minutes old moment! Nice book/journal to write down all those "firsts" and special memories. I do Birthday Letters for my dds in a book each. I just write about the previous year, how they've changed, trials and tribulations and the good bits. I'm going to give it to them when they're 18 (or 21 if they're too irresponsible at 18!). It's a good "grounder" for me when I'm struggling with them and think they're being their worst. I look back and see actually it has been harder and we got through the teeth, the tantrums, the clingyness etc, so we'll get through the current thing. All the best and enjoy!

Best advice I had was don't buy special fitted sheets for crib and cot mattresses - cotton pillowcases will slip over most crib/carrycot mattresses and if you're at all handy with a sewing machine you can get about 4 flat cot sheets from one (adult) double or kingsize bedsheet - at much less cost.
We wish we had never bought:

• bottle/food warmer (took too long and ended up using jug of boiling water after about a week
• car seat that didn't fit on pram chassis - ended up waking up sleeping baby when moving from car to pram

Also, if friends/relatives are likely to be buying you things don't be afraid to say what you need/ would like. We have so many soft toys and baby rattles and I wish we'd been given some 6-12 month clothing instead (everyone buys diddy newborn, or at least 0-3m & 3-6 and when you suddenly get to 6 months the drawers are bare!)

Mo1-2, how far along are you now?

The 6-12 months clothes idea is great, except for the problem with seasons - if the baby is summer-born the 6-12 month stuff won't be so good in December and vice versa...lalaa, if you do have lots of friends and relations to give you gifts you could ask for vouchers (and with your tight budget I can deeply recommend Matalan, their stuff may not be quite as classy and finger-friendly as some other places but you get a huge amount for the money.)

I haven't had a baby in the house for over 9 years now so am not much use, but agree that the cordless phone would be a boon. Also they do get through a colossal number of those teeny tiny nappies in the first few weeks. And I did get a lot of peaceful time from the baby gym from around 3-6 months.

I love batey's idea about the book. I have a friend who did something similar, she wrote something every month when they were tiny, I never did that - you think you will remember, but you don't, and those memories are precious and irreplaceable so do try to write them down...

pushchair from 0 - 3yrs, extendable handles, enough room underneath for shopping, hook of handles for hanging handbag off, light, easy to collapse.

Sleeping bags - grobag for different weights.

Bath lying in thingy - stretched flannel over frame to support tiny baby in bath - fab - nct catalogue.

electric steam steriliser.

breast feeding triangular pillow - great to support baby then great later when they are learning to sit up.

Whisky

If you are going to bottle feed get a couple of cartons of the ready made formula I still keep one in just incase, also a baby thermometer,a dummy, a good book for when you are breastfeeding, dont bother with a top/tail bowl, too many clothes, big pots of sudocreme, special hooded baby towels.
good luck

janh - I'm now almost 38 weeks (aaaargh!) Thanks why I'm suddenly on here a bit more - fat, fed up and can't move (although I did paint a wall in ds's bedroom yesterday - put it down to 'nesting...)

Good luck, then can't be long now, look forward to hearing from Mo2 in a week or two!

(I did all my best decorating in the last month - lying on the floor and painting skirting boards is quite restful!)

nay, Manna, vodka

I found I got lots of clothes as presents but in larger sizes (I think people presume you will have loads of newborn stuff), and I was a bit short of newborn babygrows especially as dd didn't fit in the 0 - 3 month Mothercare stuff until she was 3 months - it was huge on her (she was 7 lbs 5 oz). Also, don't skimp on carseats or cot mattress - buy the best you can afford. Agree with Lucy123 - just buy a changing mat and put it on the floor, or even better buy a couple and have one downstairs. Changing tables/chest of drawers look nice and do save your back in the early days, but I found that once dd started to wriggle around, the floor is by far the safest place.
Bouncy chair - invaluable.
Play gym also really useful.

Borrow whatever you can and don't turn down any offers of things even if you think you won't need it.

I still have four unopened bottles of talc and four of baby lotion - never ever used either of them.

Borrow a Moses basket - I bought mine and am now doing sterling wokr lending it to friends for the six weeks or so it is needed. I also wasted money on loads of blankets as I discovered grobags from 3 months.

Microwave steam steriliser - marvellous thing. Bottle warmer - waste of money as it takes too long. Chicco bouncy chair - could not live without.

Where do you live? I have a load of stuff I could sell you second hand at a reasonable rate!

Zoe

apparently you shouldn't use talc on babies - they can inhale it and get asthma!

My biggest esential was the sling - i didn't even have a buggy or pram until dd was 3 months old!
Washable nappies - you think it's a lot more work than disposables but its not - you just chuck them in the machine.
I have to say the thing people raised eyebrows at us not having was a steriliser - but we just put everything through the dishwasher and it was fine, and I was bf anyway.
On bf - if you are, I would recommend you get one pair of wool/silk breastpads for if your nipples get sore and the best thing I have found for sore nipples is something called 'TNT' - both of these are available online from Little Green Earthlets.
We didn't have a moses basket either - just put kids in the cot in our room from 0-6 months, or, more often than not, in our bed!
I would echo the cordless phone! And the waterproof coat - if you buy one when preganant it then goes over you with baby in sling later!

Theres lots of other stuff which is good for later, but these are the thngs I was glad a I had/didn't have to start with, without duplicating other people too much!!

Brilliant responses - really, really helpful. I feel much better now: no need to go out tomorrow and buy up Mothercare!

Many many thanks to everyone.

Lala, here's my list of things I really didn't need and were a complete waste of money:

bottle warmer (takes ages, microwave better IMO)
baby monitor (small flat, don't know why we didn't think we'd be able to hear a screaming baby in it without one)
those plates that tell you whether food is too hot (try it instead, doh!!)
bath thermometer (ditto) & fridge thermometer
and, the BIGGEST waste of money, for me, was a bulky 3 in one carrycot/pram/pushchair. I'm sure they're great for some people, but it was very expensive and after 6 months I ended up buying a lighter buggy as it was easier to get down the stairs etc. In retrospect I think I would have been better off with a sling and separate cot (would have had loads of use) up to six months and then buying the separate buggy (which I then used regularly for 3 years). HTH.