C Section not real labour

[guest477337]

I keep reading articles and stories of people having C sections and other mums/people saying it's not like actually giving birth or it's not as good as a vaginal birth or even that it's not normal.

I cannot understand this! Do some people really have this view? Or are they silly stories to drum up hate and arguments?

Child birth is child birth and no matter how you have your child it doesn't make it any less special or a person less of a mother. I think every women who had given birth is amazing no matter how it's happened!!

I'm a FTM and have so much admiration for all mothers, I don't think anyone realises how hard although it's amazing and rewarding being a parent is!!

I think the most important thing is you have a healthy baby at the end of it all, regardless of how he/she enters the world.

I personally have had two c-sections, 1 emergency and 1 planned. I don’t feel I’ve missed out, my birth plan was to have a healthy baby and I was very lucky to achieve that both times.

I had an emergency section after a 14 hour labour because my ds heart almost stopped. He was fine but It was the worst time of my life and it took me a long time to get over what happened. I couldn't talk about the birth without crying and I felt like I'd been massively cheated.

Fast forward 2 years and I'm due again in 4 months and have opted for an elected section. I realised a few months after the birth that it didn't matter how the heck this miracle came out, it mattered that he came out alive. This time I don't want the trauma of wondering if the same will happen again.

I was told by a few friends I was "lucky" I didn't have to push him out. Literally could kill the ignorant dickheads

I had a planned section with my first due to positioning...laughed off any comments about “having it easy” to the people I told (and very quickly learnt just not to tell anyone) but afterwards I was a wreck. I was only 23 at the time and felt and still do feel quite traumatised by the reality of my birth. I didn’t feel connected to my body at all and felt completely helpless not even being able to see my daughter straight away (not due to any complications but the positioning of the screen in relation to the table they took her to meant I couldn’t see a thing). I love her unconditionally but I feel so sad thinking about her birth and it was hard to bond in the early days. I didn’t expect how bad the pain would be and how my body wouldn’t look the same again until at least 6 months later (I have had anorexia and bulimia in the past so this was a big thing for me). To then deal with comments about c sections from strangers was a complete smack in the face on top of all the other ways I doubted my ability as a mum in that first year.
With this baby I am hoping for a vbac and a totally different birth experience. I know I should stay open minded but my mind can’t even contemplate the idea of a section. My rational mind says I need to be thankful that my daughter got here safe and sound but the irrational part feels a massive amount of dread at the idea of having to go through a section again

I had an elective c section and:

1. I don't for one moment believe that I have ever experienced labour

1. I often have pangs of regret at knowing that I haven't experienced labour and

1. I do feel that I 'copped out' and feel a bit sheepish at doing so

But, hey, I don't regret that it was a pain free experience. That's a massive plus. And plusses in life are rarely free....if feeling guilty and regretful are the price I have to pay, then tough titty for me! I don't expect others to make me feel better about my choices. I just have to accept myself and live with the slightly unpleasant feelings that my choice left me with

"I keep reading articles and stories of people having C sections and other mums/people saying it's not like actually giving birth or it's not as good as a vaginal birth or even that it's not normal."

"...it's not like actually giving birth" - Surely giving birth vaginally is a very different process and experience to having your baby delivered by Caesarean section...? The end result (hopefully a healthy baby in your arms) is the same, but the journey is very different, both for mother and baby.

"...it's not as good as a vaginal birth" - this is purely subjective, and unless we agree on a definition of what a "good" birth is (which we can't, as it's so personal and subjective), it's an impossible statement to defend.

"...even that it's not normal" - well, again, I'd have to agree that, technically, physiologically, delivering a baby by a surgical intervention is not 'normal' human behaviour. However, given that a significant minority of 'normal' (I.e. Vaginal) births would end in tragedy were it not for Caesarean sections, I don't think anyone is arguing for the 'norm' to be pursued at all costs.

I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiments of your third paragraph though, OP - a baby coming into the world is a miraculous event, however it occurs, and mothers everywhere are to be saluted and cherished.

Yes, I've seen that attitude on social media. It's ridiculous. Befire I had my first DC I was scared I'd have to have a section - major surgery freaks me out! I was very lucky to be able to have a natural birth with DD, with only a bit of gas and air. Did I feel smug? Yeah, a little. I was proud of myself and how I handled it.

Fast forward to DS's birth and...not so smug anymore. He was four weeks early, waters broke at work, after 3 days of waiting no labour but distressed heartbeat, next thing I know I'm being prepped for am emergency section, listening to the midwife read the risks out and feeling utterly fucking terrified. The spinal didn't work very well so I felt pain especially during stitching. It was not nice.

But DS was born safely and that's ALL that matters. What it highlighted to me was that I had NO control over how it went, there was nothing I could do. So I think it's very wrong that anyone would judge and if you're going to comment on a mode of delivery, you should have experienced it first.

Meh, I don't really care what some ignorant people think about it tbh.

DD I had a section as she was transverse with the cord wrapped around her and we would both be dead otherwise. DS was 11lb. All judgemental people come back to me when you've pushed that out!

Looking after a newborn and a 3 year old after major abdominal surgery is as hard as labour any day.

Had one emcs with DS as his heart rate was dropping - turned out he had the cord round his neck. I never got to any stage of labour that really felt like ‘this is it’.

I wanted to go for a vbac with DC2 as I was keen to experience labour and vaginal delivery, and didn’t fancy the recovery of a second major abdominal surgery with a three year old, but turns out this one is flipping enormous. Also for medical reasons I would end up with ALL the poking and prodding during labour, and my dreams of a lovely peaceful labour on a midwife-led unit are out of the window. I know I won’t respond well mentally to a birth with heavy intervention, potentially resulting in another emergency section anyway.

So I’m having a lovely peaceful elective section instead. Head midwife (usually very pro-vbac) was very much in agreement. I get to see baby come out, immediate skin to skin, and all procedures post-birth are to be done while baby is with me establishing bf.

And I keep my vagina and mental health intact. I grew the baby for 9 months, it’s been bloody hard work. I will bring it up for the rest of my life. People get very hung up on that one event in the middle. I wanted another baby to expand my family, not so I could push it out of my fanjo.