C Section not real labour

[guest477337]

I keep reading articles and stories of people having C sections and other mums/people saying it's not like actually giving birth or it's not as good as a vaginal birth or even that it's not normal.

I cannot understand this! Do some people really have this view? Or are they silly stories to drum up hate and arguments?

Child birth is child birth and no matter how you have your child it doesn't make it any less special or a person less of a mother. I think every women who had given birth is amazing no matter how it's happened!!

I'm a FTM and have so much admiration for all mothers, I don't think anyone realises how hard although it's amazing and rewarding being a parent is!!

I just wish Mums would stop being so hard on themselves and this vaginal vs c section is another classic example.

I just wish people would stop judging.

Unfortunately, in this super competitive FB world, things like BF and vaginal births are seen as a badge of honour and it sucks.

Everyone going to bed at the end of the day happy and in one piece is a badge of honour.

@guest477337 that example is fake, Disciples of the New Dawn are a troll group masquerading as Christians.

https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/DisciplesofftheNewwDawn

If you have a planned section, no technically, it's not 'labour' as labour is a very specific physiological process of your body's hormones triggering the process of birth. But it is still giving birth, albeit differently than the natural way. And it sure seems a hell of a lot harder and more miserable. I've only had a vaginal birth (all natural, no pain relief), but I'd take that any day over major surgery. So it is by no means the easy way out and no one should be made to feel bad about their choices or circumstances that were beyond their control.

Realistically, there are added risks to c-sections and there are some benefits to vaginal birth that are lost when a baby is born by c-section, so yes, one could make the argument that it's not as 'good.' On a clinical level, yes, benefits are missed, but where the risks of vaginal birth outweigh the benefits, then no one can quibble about that. It may have been better had everything worked out perfectly for a natural vaginal birth, but that isn't what happened, and the tradeoff is a safe birth and a healthy baby. Lots of ideal circumstances are technically 'better' than how things work in the real world, but we live in the real world, not in some ideal hypothetical one, and no one should feel bad about that.

Well that poster is bollocks - where's the overhang

(I have a huge one and from what I've heard I'm definitely not alone!)

I had dinner with two friends last week (neither of whom have children yet) and they thought I was crazy for going through labour and vaginal delivery. Both said that they only way they would want to have a baby was planned private c-section. I said that I thought I'd prefer to avoid major surgery if I could help it and spending tens of thousands of pounds on it and that my previous birth hadn't been too bad. They both looked at me the same way that I would look at someone who announced that they were going to give birth in the wild.

Some women judge other women who have c-sections. Some women judge other women who give birth vaginally. And I judge women who go into the wild to give birth because it's just weird.

I’ve had two vaginal births and I tell you what, if someone had the cheek to say to my face that it wasn’t real labour if it had been c sections they’d get a right earful!

I was offered a c section after 3 failed inductions with my second and turned it down as it’s major surgery! Who on earth would want to put themselves through that for no good reason?!

Hats off to any woman who’s been through it. You still birthed your baby, just through the sunroof! Healthy Mum and baby is all that matters.

Having had an EMCS (no problems, no scar, no recovery issues) I am much more likely to say 'hat's off' to anyone having a vaginal birth - and when I read about the medical horrors some women have with a VB - which are rarely talked about BEFORE giving birth vaginally I actually wonder why anyone wants to have a baby at all .

Well an elective section isn't real labour as you don't go into labour. It is however a perfectly reasonable way to deliver a baby that no one should judge negatively.

I agree.

Anyway, I bet the vast majority of people don't care one way or another it's just they don't blog about it or mention it at all.

My son stopped moving and I had an emergency section. If I had waited to give birth "naturally" he wouldn't have survived as the cord was tight around his neck. I count myself extremely lucky that I live in an age where I had the priviledge to bring my child safely and alive in the world unlike my mother who sadly lost her son during childbirth.

My 'natural birth' left me completely and utterly broken, suffering PTSD and mourning the loss of my baby. In contrast my second birth (via elective c section) was a wonderful, positive experience. I didn't find the recovery particularly hard, I was back to normal after a fortnight, whereas with my vaginal birth I had, retained products that I had to undergo surgery to remove, which was unsuccessful and resulted in two severe post partum haemorrhages. It took me around 6 months to fully recover physically. If I were to have another (I'm not) I wouldn't hesitate in having another section.

Everyone's birth is different and personal, some women may be afraid of having to have a section, some like myself, are terrified of vaginal birth. But when it comes right down to it, it's all birth. I do wish women would stop trying to shame or scare each other into doing it in a particular way.

@AmethystRaven I was going to say! There’s zero over hang on that belly - I’m having none of it being real

@AmethystRaven I was going to say! There’s zero over hang on that belly - I’m having none of it being real

Women have been getting caesarians since before any religion was formed. It’s just that in those days the priority was getting the baby out at the cost of the mother (my culture has many stories of warriors being born on battlefields - the carving up of their mums was a footnote).

My first child was a natural delivery, no pain relief and a third degree tear. My second delivery was twins via ELCS due to twin 1 being breach. I found the recovery horrendous. CS isn't always an easy option!

There are groups of people and women so critical and downright wrong about each other . Any woman who has a baby by whatever route should be congratulated for giving birth and none should feel any less of a worthwhile mother if they choose not to breastfeed or for whatever reason can't get along with it .

As far as I’m concerned if a baby comes out of my body, regardless of method, then I have given birth.
I didn’t go through labour with DS, a week long failed induction where they were unable to break my waters lead to a CS.

CS or vaginal delivery, neither is superior.

Pre DD I lived in the developing world for a couple of years. I met far too many people who had lost children/their mother/their wife because they didn't have access to medical care during delivery.

DD was transverse - there's no way a baby can come out sideways, and attempting natural labour would have killed her. I was very very grateful to have access to good medical care and a c-section. A successful birth means a healthy mother and a healthy baby, which I got; nothing else really matters.

Incidentally those who've made comments on DD's birth have been childless female relatives. I have pointed out that us both being alive was my priority...

I tend to say when my daughter was born/delivered as I think deep down I worry that if I say when I gave birth people will say I didn’t because of my c section. I know it’s silly and the traumatic way in which she arrived in no way made it an easy option but I can’t help that deep seated fear

It is a genuine phenomenon- definitely a minority view, but as I mentioned my pilates teacher told me it was such as shame I “wasn’t a real Mum” (said in a tone of deep pity), and one of DH’s nutcase new age uni friends also made her views clear (she thought that lack of meditation was 100% responsible for my vasa praevia, transverse lie and abruption, and if I was more in tune with myself these problems would never have arisen. I don’t judge her though, because she had chosen to freebirth and ended up with a term stillbirth, and she was obviously projecting).

I've been asked on several occasions "did you give birth to them yourself?" which to me implies that my c section was some sort of lazy option that I took because I couldn't be bothered to have a vaginal birth. Maybe that's just me being paranoid though!

twinnypops I don't think I could resist a sarcastic response to that question

My 'natural birth' left me completely and utterly broken, suffering PTSD and mourning the loss of my baby.

Hugs to you @DeadButDelicious

This was my experience too. I always want to be sarcastic when people launch into lauding the benefits of “natural” births etc. Especially pregnant women who’ve never given birth going on about it. I get that it’s something that’s being drilled into us now and so many people feel they want a birth without any pain relief or epidurals or any interventions, and in an ideal scenario that’s great. But I had a completely natural delivery with no epidural, no pain relief, minor first degree tears. It was so “natural” that they couldn’t save my son. Because that’s the sad reality of the world in many parts and many other times when life saving operations weren’t available.

I’d rather have a completely medicalised procedure with a scar and an overhang and major abdominal surgery and all the drugs if I can have a baby who’s alive and healthy.

I’d rather have a completely medicalised procedure with a scar and an overhang and major abdominal surgery and all the drugs if I can have a baby who’s alive and healthy.

Exactly that.** Exactly that.

I too find it very difficult not to point out that birth is one bit of the whole thing. And while a good birth experience is obviously important, having a living breathing baby at the end of it trumps all. You find that while they will spout on all day about how wonderful natural birth is and how terrible medical intervention is, yet they won't talk about how sometimes the babies don't make it, or the mum doesn't or both. I wish I could have that amount of blind faith or optimism that every pregnancy ends with a bouncing healthy baby. I just don't, that died the day she did.

I've had women tell me they were 'sorry' I had a section. I'm fucking not. I'm grateful as hell that such a procedure exists so I don't have to traumatise myself in order to birth my baby. Mental health is just as important as physical.

All my love to you.* I'm so very sorry for your loss.*

I agree - I'm not sure why people feel the need to judge other people on something most of them haven't experienced... if they've only ever had vaginal deliveries how the hell can they know what a c-section is like and vice versa.
After a very quick labour I ended up needing ventouse to help baby out quickly as I was exhausted and he was distressed... due to a few "fairy tale" labours I read about on Facebook and in magazines at the time I felt like an absolute failure and like I hadn't been strong enough to do it myself. I was a mess and the midwife was reluctant to sign me off because I was still being incredibly hard on myself.