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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Food nazis DH and MIL

38 replies

bottlegreen · 04/12/2017 17:39

Very very cross!

Background - DH and I living with MIL while we buy a house.

I have come in from work this evening , ravenous and craving a very carb heavy dinner of cheese toastie and chips (please don't judge!) DH gets straight on it preparing for me.

I make a cup of tea fir myself and MIL and tuck into a piece of bread and thickly slathered butter as I tell them about my day.

DH shouts "Good god!" And goes on to berate me about pure fat intake etc. MIL chimes in with "it'll be your own problem when you get too gat and have problems"

I feel so angry, especially as MIL only was told this weekend about my pregnancy.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Adamsmom · 04/12/2017 17:44

Ah, she doesn't sound very nice. Enjoy your pregnancy, make sure you have seconds too

WorraLiberty · 04/12/2017 17:49

She should bite her tongue around you imo, when it comes to this sort of thing.

Equally, if you end up as one of the many women with tons of 'baby weight' to shift (should you decide to continue eating like that), then you should bite your tongue around her too.

pallisers · 04/12/2017 17:51

Equally, if you end up as one of the many women with tons of 'baby weight' to shift (should you decide to continue eating like that)

Not sure why you think the MIL should bite her tongue when you've just said pretty much the exact same thing to the OP

It is rude to comment on what people eat.

Moanyoldcow · 04/12/2017 17:53

Literally none of their business.

keeponworking · 04/12/2017 17:55

So DH makes it for you - and then berates you for it, then MIL joins in? Why did your DH make it for you if it's so awful?! Or was he prompted by MIL (out of your earshot) to say how awful it was so they could have a pop at you together?

WorraLiberty · 04/12/2017 17:59

Pallisers I think you misunderstood my comment

Yes it was rude of her MIL - therefore she should bite her tongue

Equally if the OP has tons of weight to shift due to eating like that, she should bite her tongue around her MIL.

The OP's food is her own business and equally so is her weight.

Original poster

bottlegreen · 04/12/2017 17:59

I may have slightly misled in my furious typing...

While waiting for cheese toastie (being prepped by DH) I lined up the end bit of the loaf of bread - the heel my Mum calls it - and liberally applied that delicious butter with seasalt crystals in it.

This is what provoked the comments from DH and MIL.

Still cross...

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 04/12/2017 18:03

I'd just tell them to mind their own business OP

Would you get this cross if for example they criticised your hair?

If not, just try to view this the same way and file it under 'sod 'em'.

Hissy · 04/12/2017 18:04

Oh yum!

Well jel... lactose and gluten intolerant ... god I miss butter slathered heels of bread!

What you eat is YOUR business. Tell them both to watch their own plates and leave you alone

tampinfuminragin · 04/12/2017 18:05

Tell them to sod off.

Eat whatever takes your fancy.

mumonashoestring · 04/12/2017 18:07

Might be worth very clearly explaining to your DH that both your appetite and your reaction to fuckwits ill considered criticisms are likely to change dramatically over the next year or so. Particularly if you plan to breastfeed. Unless you're living entirely on cheese and butter and have foresworn fruit and veg entirely then he might want to wind his neck in.

Hulaballoo · 04/12/2017 18:08

Grr I would have been fuming too!! Your body, your decision and if you're wanting some bread and butter go for it! We know our own body and we're adult enough to make choices and know what's ok and not... But a bit of bread and butter in the whole scheme of things is not cardiac arrest...
I really fancy since crusty bread and proper butter now. Yum 😁

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 04/12/2017 18:10

If you were terribly over-weight, suffering health problems, had gestational diabetes etc. then having a sympathetic chat with you privately at a well-chosen moment might be vaguely understandable if they did it out of concern for your well-being.

In this case, you should tell them to sod off and make another cheese toastie.

TheNewMrs · 04/12/2017 18:23

Tell them to fuck off and eat what you want!
I'm 19 weeks pregnant - some days I eat well, some days I live on crisps. But I'll be damned if DH/MIL/anyone else gets to comment on what I eat!

Original poster

bottlegreen · 04/12/2017 18:30

Thank you for the solidarity team mumsnet! (plus some healthy bit like fruit and veg... occasionally )

OP posts:

Original poster

bottlegreen · 04/12/2017 18:31

Ps - I did tell them both to fuck off

OP posts:

NerNerNerNerBATMAN · 04/12/2017 18:38

Glad you told them to fuck off.

I could only stomach beige carbs during the first trimester. Often in vast quantities as it helped with the nausea.

I'd have lamped someone if they'd have dared say anything.

MotherofPearl · 04/12/2017 18:46

Honestly OP, from their reaction you'd think you were getting stuck into the crack cocaine, washing it down with a bottle of vodka and accompanying it all with a 50 a day fag habit.

It's a bit of bread and butter FGS. They need to get a grip. For me, as for pp, stodgy carbs were the only thing that settled my nausea in pregnancy. There are people on the HG board on here who survive their pregnancies on flat coke and potato waffles, and they always come back to report on delivering healthy babies.

ClareB83 · 04/12/2017 18:51

You're going to have to put up with loads of ill thought comments while pregnant (or tell a lot of people to fuck off). IME people seem to assume that once you're pregnant you're public property and their advice is invaluable, from what you eat to which train you should get - all from total strangers.

For example my friend (who was a thin woman with a big healthy bump) got told upon ordering a sausage roll and chips by the cafe owner that she should get something else next time as it was bad for baby!

Original poster

bottlegreen · 04/12/2017 18:53

MotherofPearl - you've made me giggle.

MIL has just apologised " Im sorry love, it just came out all wrong..." and offered a hug. I apologised for sweary sweary vocabulary.

OP posts:

Original poster

bottlegreen · 04/12/2017 18:56

ClareB83 - I think that's particularly why I was so irate - my pregnancy was only made known (to family) on Saturday, and two fkin days later comments like this?! Suddenly it's acceptable to comment on my food intake. I also felt ganged up on.
Poor poor me...

OP posts:

Esker · 04/12/2017 19:00

Glad your MIL apologised! They were both in the wrong and it's good that you put them straight with a frank response I admire your candour

MadeForThis · 04/12/2017 19:02

Bread especially with cheese was what kept me going through the first 14 weeks. Kept away the sick feeling, for a while anyway.

Was up at 3am sometimes with a slice of toast and cheese.

Tell them to politely fuck off

BigBaboonBum · 04/12/2017 19:13

I agree with telling them to fuck right off, and then continue fucking off until they have well and truly fucked right off... then continue to eat your bread, with more butter this time

LadyRenoir · 04/12/2017 19:22

I'm reading this eating a big slice of pizza.

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