Anyone regretted their VBAC/Elective C Section decision?

[AutumnLeavesandCandleLights]

As the title says...

Has anybody had a c section (mainly as their first and only delivery) then went on to have a VBAC that they regretted or, chose an elective c section and wound up wishing they'd gone for a VBAC?

I'm trying to gather as much information and hear as many stories as possible before making my final decision regarding VBAC vs Elective for my second baby's birth in a few weeks time.

I'm currently 33 weeks pregnant after having an emergency c section just 11 months ago, and now have only two more weeks to decide how this little one is going to be born.

Although I do feel a c section is the better, safer option for myself, I can't shake this feeling that I'll hate myself if I choose a particular birthing option and something goes wrong, then it'd be my fault as I could've chosen the other option. (I know no one can predict what happens during child birth, but I just know I'd suffer terribly with guilt thinking about how any bad outcome could've been avoided by me taking a different route IYSWIM).

I'm happy to read positive and negative stories regarding both VBAC's and Electives!

Thanks!

dreading the recovery with newborn and older toddler

It needn't be terrible, honest! My toddler was just over 2 when I had my elcs. The first few days I had in hospital with baby so dp looked after dc1 and brought him for visits. After that dp was in charge of and lifting necessary whilst on paternity, then by 4 weeks things were tentatively normal-ish; certainly not completely out of action. Weeks 2-4 were fine too; I was surprised how much dc1 could do for themselves if I asked them too, like climbing in and out of his car seat.

I found deciding hard but eventually settled on a VBAC because of the recovery with a toddler (24 months between them). However, a couple of things made the consultant strongly push for a c section when I reached 39 weeks and I’m pleased I ultimately didn’t have to make that decision.

I don’t regret my c section all. It was calm and nothing like the emergency one. I was out of hospital 24 hours later. Recovery was fine although it was tricky avoiding lifting him once my husband had gone back to work so you might need him to take a bit longer for paternity leave (you could do shared parental leave for a couple of weeks). Yeah I’m a bit sad I haven’t experienced vaginal birth but only in the same way I’m a bit sad I haven’t done millions of things.

Hi another one here who opted for ELCS after EMCS. Part of me definitely wanted to try a VBAC just to see if I could have managed it and to avoid the recovery period of a CS. However, like many here I now have no regrets about my ELCS. I struggled slightly with the spinal block as they took a few goes to get it in - my EMCS was under GA, so I had no previous experience of that (I had an epidural the first time but was in so much pain with labour I barely noticed the epidural going in).

Once the spinal was in though, the ELCS was a calm experience, and recovery was definitely quicker than the first time round too.

Personally, I struggled to establish breast feeding afterwards as I had the first time round but I now think that is just a problem I have rather than being specifically related to CS as plenty of the other CS mothers in with me were fine.

Good luck whatever route you take.

I've had 1 vaginal and am about to have my 3rd ELCS! I planned a VBAC each time but each time my babies have been breech and I didn't want to try a vaginal breech birth.
My ELCS were positive experiences (especially as vaginal birth was traumatic with a long recovery) and I don't regret any of them (how can I when nobody knows what would have happened in another scenario? In my eyes, whatever choice you make is the right one!)
There was 15 months between my first and second sections and recovery was fine. This time I will have 3 under 3 which may be more challenging but we will muddle through!
The main reason I would go for a VBAC would be for the potential of having a straightforward, vaginal birth and recovery (however, there are never any guarantees of this!); I never wanted to try for a VBAC as I felt 'less womanly' after my ELCS and however I have given birth, bonding and breastfeeding have come easily.

Best thing is to follow medical advice, if they say a vbac would be risky then it probably is! Mine were 3 years apart so bit different.

Regarding feeling empowered after birth, that was entirely a personal comment based on my situation at the time, I was incredibly unhappy after my emcs, the care I recieved was shocking and I struggled a with the recovery, it was not straight forward. So when I had my vbac it was a completely different experience (different hospital as well) and I was able to overcome my negative feelings regarding the first birth and move on. So it was empowering for me. Not saying it would be for every natural birth or isn't for assisted births, at all!

Of course being a mother is the best part, regardless of how they arrive, the birth is really only one small aspect of the parenting journey. Having a section is just as valid a birth as any other! It's the mothering that's important and you are doing that now by making a decision that's in the interests of your child and yourself.

Good luck op!

Booked an elective CS after an EMCS first time around. Birth notes suggested a second failure to progress might be likely. DD2 came early at 37 weeks and ended up with external and internal monitoring, Vbac and forceps delivery. Feedback was that natural delivery was probably only possible as she was so small. Even still was over 3 months before I could walk normally due to internal swelling and bruising. Mild continence issues general feeling of depression lasted a lot longer. I felt a bit of a failure after my first emcs but heartily wished I’d had my planned elcs the second time around.
To be honest it’s a bit of a crapshoot to use an Americanism. Try to remember there’s no right answer, choose which makes you feel safer, more relaxed, less anxious and roll with the punches if things change. The most important thing is you get a healthy newborn to take home at the end. I hope it goes well for you both.

It's such a hard decision: I'm 31 weeks with DC2 having had a really difficult EMCS with dc1, who was stuck in my pelvis because his head (and the rest of him!) was too big. I was in labour for days, and even with the drip induction I didn't get past 7cm because he wasn't getting down far enough to open my cervix.

This time I feel like the midwives are trying to steer me towards a VBAC and part of me wants to go for it because, like others on this thread, I felt I'd failed by not having a vaginal birth the first time. However part of me thinks that with my history of growing bigger babies than my pelvis can cope with and my failure to progress there's a high chance the next labour would go the same way as the first.

I wish I didn't have any emotional investment in giving birth and could just make a cold, calculated decision. Or that someone would just choose for me!

bingle have you had a growth scan recently? Where I am there are routine growth scans around 30 weeks for all sorts of reasons, they measure head size among other things...

Had VBAC 4 years after crash section, hard decision as didn’t want to end up out for the count when my 2nd was born as I had been for my first. Was effectively a first labour as I didn’t dilate the first time at all before things going wrong but was happy I’d gone for it. But in the big scheme of things ( DS2 now 5), how they arrive is a small part of it that we stress too much on and have too much pressure about. Make the decision which is right for you then get on with the rest of their lives xxxx

Yes, I had one at 28 weeks and another is booked at 36 weeks. They have said they don't automatically recommend elcs unless the baby is predicted to be over 11lb7oz but as the one that was stuck last time was only 10lbs7 their guidelines aren't very helpful!

Good luck with your decision. It’s such a hard choice to make! I had a baby by EMCS in 2013 and my next child by VBAC just under 2 years later. The second birth became complicated and was traumatic for everyone involved but the baby was healthy and I recovered no slower than my CS. We bonded beautifully and breastfeeding was fine. I really don’t regret my decision, there was no way to predict how complicated the birth would become. An elective might have been easier but I just don’t know, there are risks involved no matter which way you go.
I think you just have to go with your gut feeling and be prepared that all births have an element of the unknown, no matter what you choose.

Just placemarking to have a read later. Had an EMCS with DS 2.5 years ago. We've talked about having another but I'm worried about how the 'end stage' would go. I'm afraid to go through it again.

I had a very traumatic birth of my first child ( emergency CS that went badly - epidural didn't properly work which I discovered under the knife - had to be fully knocked under) and it took us along time to even consider a second child. Once I got pregnant again I was apprehensive about which way to go but as there seemed to be no issues with pregnancy, I decided to give Vback a go. The birth could not have gone better. I felt like a freacking superhero afterwards, loved being fully present in the process and despite the pain involved ( it accelerated too fast for an epidural) it still brings a smile to my face. I feel like I bonded with the baby better and faster.

Ultimately though, my story and all the other stories you'll get here are only indicative of our experiences- yours will be again unique. The deciding factor in my decision was the trust I had in my consultant and midwifes. If you feel comfortable that they'll support you well, that's half the battle. Good luck!

I had an EMCS with DC1 and really wanted a VBAC with DC2. I felt the typical feelings of sadness and a bit of failure that I wasn't able to 'give birth naturally', I suppose. So, I was all geared up for it, did all my research and persuaded my consultant (this was 10 years ago, when VBAC wasn't encouraged as it is now).

In the end, I developed a health condition that meant to had to deliver at 37 weeks via planned section. It was a wonderful delivery and I realise now totally the right one for me. It was everything my first birth wasn't - there was no long, harrowing labour, no pain, just a relaxed, serene atmosphere and I felt fresh as a daisy as hadn't been induced and laboured for days like first time around.

I think the sense of calm with my second birth was actually very healing for me, and it completely exorcised that feeling of having missed out on a natural birth. I'd do it again in a heartbeat (and had no issues bonding at all - I was on cloud nine for weeks ).

It is a tough decision, but I think the unknowns and what-ifs are always going to be there and you just need to trust that whatever decision you make it will work out OK in the end.

These experiences are really helpful to read, thank you all for sharing.
I'm currently pregnant with 2nd baby and hoping to have an ELCS.

I had my first baby vaginally and it was traumatic. I was induced as overdue, she got stuck and had to be pulled out with forceps via episiotomy which is when the epidural started to wear off. Then I lost 5 pints of blood, so had to be stitched but they didn't use anaesthetic because of the epidural despite me screaming that I could feel it.

I was bruised and battered, and so many stitches. I'd lost so much blood that my body couldn't heal itself. When the stitches dissolved at 12 days I literally fell apart. Then I had an infection in the wound. 3 rounds of antibiotics. It was until 9 weeks after birth that my wound was healed and finally not in terrible pain.

Blood loss also affected breastfeeding, my milk didn't really come in, baby lost 11% by day 3. hospital said we had to start her on formula (we were in hospital for a week) once she was on bottles she wouldn't go back to the breast, so I pumped. Pumping was incredibly hard, 8 times a day, and I hardly produced anything. I pumped 8 times a day for 6 months, and 4 times a day until baby was a year old and I stopped.

I really think the traumatic birth affected my milk supply. I've heard that establishing breastfeeding can be difficult after an ELCS. It's practically my only concern about a c section. Would anyone who's had a ELCS like to share their experience of breastfeeding please?

After my emergency c section I struggled to breast feed - I chose to exclusively pump after baby wasn't going on the breast for three days straight and he lost a lot of weight. I was hooked up to my pump almost constantly, getting next to nothing out. I cried so much over how little I was producing.

I think some women just don't produce much no matter what they do.

In a few weeks I'll be having my elective c section and I plan to exclusively pump once again - but this time I know if it isn't working, to just stop rather than spend days/weeks struggling and making myself more and more depressed over it. There's absolutely no shame whatsoever in using formula. I'm disappointed in myself that it took me as long as it did to realise that with my first baby.

THe Royal College of Obstetrics/gynaecology has good guidance on vbac vs sections, including stats etc on factors making a successful vbac more likely. I wish I’d read it before being pushed into vbac with DC2.

She and I were both OK but the experience was awful and affected me a lot. I lost trust in doctors bigtime as I wasn’t informed and didn’t feel I had choices.

I don't fully trust my consultant either who, when I met for the first time a few months ago, told me the time between my pregnancies wasn't a concern and doesn't heighten my risk of anything going wrong in a VBAC delivery.

I've since done a lot of research that suggests otherwise. I fell pregnant around 13-14 weeks after my emergency c section meaning I'll have two babies born 12 months apart. There's plenty of evidence that shows I'm at a higher risk of rupturing due to a very short interval between my babies. I've also seen that many, many women who have short gaps between babies have been advised by their consultants to not chance a VBAC, so I don't know why mine seems to think it's ok.

I'm now very much set on an elective. I liked the idea of a VBAC to begin with, but I'm not prepared to take on the risks that come with it just to say I've pushed a human through my lady bits 😂

Yes, had elcs 3 weeks ago (fue to 4th degree tear with last birth) and huge regrets. Wish more than anything I'd had a VB and taken the risk.

Good luck! I I had an elcs for dc2 and it was fantastic. Dc1's birth was a traumatic vaginal birth (induction, ventouse, episiotomy, 3rd degree tear, spending first hour of dc1's life in surgery while he was elsewhere) and I was determined never to go through it again. The elcs was a lovely experience. The recovery was painful but I took ot very easy and had lots of support. It was such a positive experience after dc1's horrendous birth, which I couldn't even think about without horror during his first year.

Breasfeeding was easy for me wth both dc (traumatic vaginal first birth, elcs second birth). The cs didnt seem to make a difference. Dc2 did get topped up with formula around 2 hours after birth as I had gestational diabetes and his blood sugar was too low but other than that it was very straightforward. Milk came in around day 3, he fed well and I didn't have any pain. I suspect this is more down to luck/genetics (my mum and sister both had no problems breastfeeding 3 kids each) than anything I did or the mode of birth.

I had an ELCS 19 months after my emergency CS. It was a much happier and more relaxed procedure than the first one.

I guess there’s still a teeny (and I mean teeeeeeny, like fraction of a percent) part of me that still would like to wear the badge of having given birth ‘naturally’ but other than that, no regrets whatsoever. My son was born quickly, he was strong and healthy, there was no drama, no complications, my recovery was smooth (especially as I knew what to expect) - my parents came down to stay and look after my dd while I was in hospital, it all worked well.

I’ve just read a few posters saying they didn’t bond as well. With my first baby I got that huge whoosh of love as soon as I held her. With my second baby (the ELCS) it took a few hours until that happened. Tbh though I don’t think that was anything to do with the birth, I was nervous about having two dc, hospitals are noisy and busy, it wasn’t until the evening when I was finally on my own with him that everything clicked. Now he’s almost a teenager, teasing me on the way out of the door this morning, I barely ever think about those early days so thanks for this thread, a lovely trip down memory lane!

I was in your position and opted for elcs. I didn’t want to have the pain of f labour and then a traumatic emcs. My thinking was also that I already have a scar and slight overhang of my tummy - why end up with pelvic floor problems , such as tears or incontinence as well. Elcs was good as I could arrange for my mum to stay and look after ds1 while I was in hospital. Having a planned date at 39 weeks helped too. I had no problems breastfeeding after elcs and had lovely skin to skin bonding time

Thanks Autumn, I found pumping so hard. I don't think I'd do it long term for my second. Looking back I wish I hadn't done it so long with my first! I wish I'd sat and cuddled my baby instead of being hooked up to the pump all the time with her in the bouncer next to me. It really affected my mental health at times.
I'd love for breastfeeding to work out next time, but if it doesn't then I will formula feed and just enjoy my baby without the hours spent pumping I'm pretty sure my boobs aren't capable of producing enough milk, previous breast reduction surgery means lots of ducts aren't connected.

My midwife seems to think I'll be able to have a ELCS, I have to have a consultant appt so I'm hoping that they agree.

Millford breast reduction can definitely have an impact on supply. Did you try domperidone last time? I know a couple of mums who had breast reductions and have managed to successfully combination feed (breast and bottle) and domperidone helped them.