Anyone regretted their VBAC/Elective C Section decision?

[AutumnLeavesandCandleLights]

As the title says...

Has anybody had a c section (mainly as their first and only delivery) then went on to have a VBAC that they regretted or, chose an elective c section and wound up wishing they'd gone for a VBAC?

I'm trying to gather as much information and hear as many stories as possible before making my final decision regarding VBAC vs Elective for my second baby's birth in a few weeks time.

I'm currently 33 weeks pregnant after having an emergency c section just 11 months ago, and now have only two more weeks to decide how this little one is going to be born.

Although I do feel a c section is the better, safer option for myself, I can't shake this feeling that I'll hate myself if I choose a particular birthing option and something goes wrong, then it'd be my fault as I could've chosen the other option. (I know no one can predict what happens during child birth, but I just know I'd suffer terribly with guilt thinking about how any bad outcome could've been avoided by me taking a different route IYSWIM).

I'm happy to read positive and negative stories regarding both VBAC's and Electives!

Thanks!

This thread is really interesting.
I'm 33weeks with dc2.

With Ds I was induced at 12 days overdue, but it didn't work, nothing happened so had a section at 15days overdue - was meant to be the day before but they had emergencies and I wasn't in labour so could wait. He was also 11lb7oz and undiagnosed breech.

Section was a lovely experience. Recovery at first was a shock, just getting up out of the bed for the first time made me think wtf have I done. But I know it all happened for a reason. Trying to vaginally deliver such a big baby who was actually breech would have been disastrous I think.

This time the plan is another section.
Consultant doesn't feel that it's a nessistity. He thinks a vbac would be fine.
I was torn for a bit but I think the unknown risks/path a vbac can go are scarier than a planned section. I know things can still go wrong but i feel it's more controlled.

There is a tiny part of me that is sad I'll never naturally deliver but I think I'll get over it.

Interesting that most don't regret the section.

My first delivery was elective C-section as DC1 was breech.

I was hoping for a VBAC for delivery 2, but in the end had to have another elective C-section as DC2 was 2 weeks overdue & I was told it would not have been safe to induce me after a previous C-section.

Nearly 16 years later it feels almost entirely irrelevant. At the time it was quite annoying not being able to drive for 6 weeks after, but that was the only downside I felt at the time. Having had 1 section already, I was well able to cope with a second.

I had an EMCS. Then a VBAC and third was by ES
The VBAC was awful, I was so injured it took 9 months to heal (episiotomy & 3rd degree tear, low blood pressure), far longer than ES (which I almost skipped down hospital corridor to and even went home from hospital quicker after CS than I did after VBAC, at 2 days instead of 5). ES surgery even neatened up my original EMCS scar.! So I'm all for CS and regret not having CS 2nd time. I found CS so easy to recover from.

I guess it depends on reason you had original EMCS. My DS1 was stuck. My next baby, tiny DD1 got stuck too on VBAC though she had a far smaller head & shoulders (both DS1 & DD1 were back to back, despite obstrician turning them to right way during labour).

What is the quiet voice in your head telling you? I'd let that guide you.

Congratulations and Good luck!!!

I'm watching this thread with interest. If things go to plan, there will be 16 months between DC1 and DC2.

I am 99% set on having an ELCS. My EMCS was terrifying and recovery took an awfully long time, so I'm a little scared about being cut open again. For me though, the risk of uterine rupture or something catastrophic happening because of the short time that's passed means I think VBAC is probably not the best choice.

YY Coffee, I have to say I think I'd be scared of uterine rupture. I also think if you already have a c section scar it would be a shame to have vaginal injuries as well! Might as well leave one body part unscathed!

Namechange it was the possibility of extra injuries that bothered me too - particularly ongoing continence issues, as I hear can be fairly common after vaginal births. I was worried that in trying to avoid the "lengthy" recovery after a section I might land myself with months - even years - of recovery from a birth related injury. And doing a lot of sport the idea of incontinence at running around is my idea of hell. But perhaps it isn't as common as all that; it's difficult to really know as the stats aren't easy to find.

Namechange - that's a factor for me too! Obviously the safety of my baby and me throughout labour is my main concern but, if all things were equal, part of me would resent having injuries "down there" as well as the problems I've had post c-section (e.g. Still have painful scar, tummy muscles will never be what they were etc).

I had an ELCS due to breech with DC1. I found the recovery really hard and was keen to avoid the same again if possible.

Second time I went for a VBAC. All was going well (although it was a long labour: 3 days 😵) when I felt a sudden pain along my scar line. All the docs/midwives thought I was overstating it as DC2's read-outs were good. I couldn't have been clearer to them what I thought it was. It took 3 excrutiating hours before her readings fell through the floor. We were raced to theatre and thankfully they had her out under a GA in just a couple of minutes from pressing the buzzer. If you haven't guessed I suffered a uterine rupture. They told me they 'hadn't realised' that's what was happening and were a little suprised when they cut in to find DC2's head poking out into my abdomen
So I was the statistic they warn VBACers of... However I am happy with my VBAC decision. It isn't that common (a midwife friend reckons it's not unusual for a midwife to go their whole career without seeing one), and the potential positives of a VB outweighed the stats of a problem for me. My only issue with the birth was the midwives and doctors not listening to me and acting sooner. As an aside I actually found the recovery from DC2 easier despite it being far more 'traumatic', but this may have been a result of a longer hospital stay with it's enforced rest and the morphine drip .

As others have said, there is no one right choice. It all depends which risks you put more weight on.

Thanks again everyone, it's really interesting reading all of your stories and that for the most part, elective c sections aren't often regretted. That makes me feel good!

My babies will be just over 12 months apart in age so I do honestly think a VBAC is the riskier option, but I do wonder how I'll feel later in life knowing I've never given birth vaginally. I suspect though that it's something I'll get over and obviously my main priority is mine and the babies safety.

I feel pretty confident in choosing an elective now thanks to the positive outcome from you lot, so thank you!

Really interested in reading this thread as I am in the situation currently, first DC was EMCS due to being undiagnosed breech (I was 7cms at the time) the section itself was absolutely fine and recovery was good but those few days stay in hospital were horrendous the midwives were awful and I just fell apart a little bit. Currently I am thinking VBAC for DC2 purely for the hospital stay I don’t want to be there I really don’t! But my sister has just had a vaginal birth and due to complications had a much longer recovery and was in for 5 days! So I can’t decide whether to risk it and possibly have a great birth and home to my DD who I am so worried about leaving (we also have very limited child care arrangements!) or go for the ELCS so can plan child care and I know what I am getting into I am so conflicted!

What are the options can I change my mind at any point??? I will have a presentation scan at 36 weeks just to ensure isn’t breech and if it is I have said I will have a section definitely but I don’t know how many choices I get and when I can change my mind? I worry I won’t be listened too as all along in my last labour the midwives did not listen or believe me at any point and didn’t feel particularly cared for well until in the hands of the doctors? So tricky to decide!

I've had a vaginal birth so it's easy for me to say but I don't really understand why you'd regret not having one, it was hardly a beautiful experience!! I know some women do have very positive experiences but I don't think they're the norm. I remember the birth and recovery (both v painful) as something I endured rather than something I achieved, IYSWIM.

You are no less a woman and a mother if you give birth by c-section. You have still created, birthed and nurtured a human being!

Having had both a C section and a vaginal birth I can hand on heart say that it doesn't matter how your baby comes out so long as it (and mum) get through it the safest way. It doesn't affect how much you love or bond with your baby. That is just another stick that women are beaten with.

Seriously OP. I do not spend a moment's thought on the fact that my baby no.2 was born by C section.

Emcs with dc1, vbac with dc2, vaginal birth again with dc3.

I'm very happy I went for the vbac as I was left feeling like I'd 'failed' after emcs (not true I know) and desperately wanting to experience a natural birth. I have to say that I definitely bonded better with the babies after the two vaginal births and breastfeeding was easier, I couldn't manage it with dc1 and combination fed until giving up the boob after a couple of months. This was because I didn't get adequate support though, not just because of the section itself.

But it's an entirely personal decision, everyone is different. Having a section was just not for me, I'm the sort of person that prefers to do things naturally where I can. If it's better for you and your experience to have a section then do it. Labour hurts and it's scary and unpredictable. But the feeling of empowerment and accomplishment I experienced after my first natural birth literally changed my life, I just felt like I could do anything and discovered all this strength I didn't know I had! It's a deeply personal thing. At the end of the day a happy and healthy mum and baby is what is important.

I had an emergency caesarean with my first. Born at 28 weeks. With my second I chose VBAC, mainly because I wanted to go in to labour naturally, although that would have happened anyway as DD2 was born at 33 weeks. When I was about 6 hours in to active labour, after 2 days in labour, I desperately regretted my decision not to have an elective caesarean, but that was the pain and exhaustion talking. One thing that I found very odd having a vaginal delivery after caesarean was that I was able to get straight up and have a shower. BUT, having a premature baby, being mobile so soon after was a huge benefit for me. My situation is different to most. But I don't regret the decision for VBAC.

This is my story hun. When I had my first son I have what can only be called a traumatic birth. I had a 4th degree tear, I ended up bleeding out, I had emergency surgery and countless blood transfusions.

Fast forward 2 years and I was told with my daughter that I only had the option of having a c section because of the damage done with my first born. I was only 20 and I took it as the truth because I didn't know better. So I had a c section and everything went well.

My last son was also an elective c section but it had been 6 years and I was told because id had one c section that I should have another. I was extremely ill with my son and I just agreed. I had never even heard of a Vbac, I was basically told this is what's happening.

I found out I'm expecting again and I'm older and wiser and I asked about a VBA2C and was told flat out no. If I had known I would never of had a c section with my second son. Not in a million years. I regret my second c section every single day. Healing was so hard, I had numerous infections, more blood transfusions and I found everything incredibly distressing.

I am now desperately trying to find someone who will help me with a VBA2C I honest regret my c section and being uninformed about the impact it would have.

I did want to feel the empowerment that comes with a vaginal birth - I struggled for a long time after my emergency c section with thinking about how I'd failed myself, failed my partner and failed our baby.

But I think wanting to feel 'womanly' and like a goddess for delivering naturally isn't a good enough reason to take on the risks that a VBAC would bring for me.

I think the sensible option this time around is an elective. 12 months between births is a very short time and I have to put the babies safety before my own wants and needs.

I'm very pleased to see so many stories from those of you who have experienced electives and have nothing but good things to say about them.

I'm a little wary about the recovery - a newborn and a 12 month old is going to be quite a handful - I was very, very sore for quite some time following the EMCS, but at least with an elective I have the option to get family members to book time off from work to help me out as and when they can.

FWIW OP I think you're making the right decision.

My vaginal birth did not make me feel empowered. It wasn't how I hoped it would be. So call me bitter but you could be taking a big risk for an elusive dream!

I've only had one pregnancy./ emergency c section (with twins) - I was on the list for an ecs due to labour phobia but was so unsure of what to do and quite hysterical about it at times. I was terrified of something going wrong and it being my fault for deciding one way or the other. In the end it was taken out of my hands, and my spinal was such a disaster that I'm not sure I could ever go through any birth again, but overall my boys wouldn't have made it without the ecs

I have a good friend who had an horrendous Ecs with her twins and was in icu after it herself. She wanted a home birth next time but the baby developed a heart issue. She opted for an elective and said it was amazing and so different from the emergency one

I think you are making the best decision for you. I've had a vaginal birth and I feel no different or less womanly for having the ecs. I take my empowerment from growing the babies and caring for them everyday, not for the birth which so in many cases, we have no choice over in the end. Your body has grown a new life, look for the amazing things it has done and try not to put all your womanly feelings on to the birthing experience. A birth is a birth regardless of the route taken.

Good plan to have people round for the first few weeks - I had trouble lifting my elder one but we used holiday so that DH was with me for 6 weeks. Wishing you all the luck in the world!

Slightly different as I had two vaginal deliveries and then an emergency section for number 3. I was given the choice for number 4, and I wanted a vaginal delivery. I was so glad I didn't have the section, the idea of lifting my 10lb plus baby immediately after a section fills me with horror. It wasn't an easy delivery but I found the recovery so much easier.

I understand a planned section is different and obviously having a general anaesthetic meant I didn't see the baby for sometime which I found very difficult.

Good luck with the delivery whichever way you choose.

Iam
"I take my empowerment from growing the babies and caring for them everyday, not for the birth which so in many cases, we have no choice over in the end. Your body has grown a new life, look for the amazing things it has done and try not to put all your womanly feelings on to the birthing experience. A birth is a birth regardless of the route taken."
Completely agree with all that. Well said.

Hi OP, my experience is too long winded for here, the crux of it is that I had a vbac with my third delivery and it was wonderful. However, even after really coaxing the consultants to let me try labouring, in the dark watches of the night when things were getting really quite painful I vividly remember thinking what an utter plonker I'd been for not toddling off for a merry c-section!

Taking the long view the choice to try labour was right for me as my circumstances were very unusual. But I still snigger at myself remembering back.

Whilst I know exactly what you mean by the empowerment of vaginal birth, it may be worth remembering that the empowerment doesn't stem from your birth canal - you have created life and delivering it safely is your power, however that may be.

Good luck.

I had a similar age gap/ experience to you and went for ELCS. Had the same last minute pangs of wanting to experience labour and concerns about looking after my toddler post c section.

In the end went for the ELCS and it was definitely for the best as he was undiagnosed breach! So I’m really glad as that, or other complications in a VBAC, could’ve meant it ended in another EMCS anyway and I felt that would be awful for my mental stability and recovery.

Good luck!

I have one child born by emcs after a long labour and am pregnant with number 2.

I'm definitely going for a elective section. One of my friend's pursued a vbac against medical advice and ended up with a really bad tear which needed fixing in theatre and has left her with pain and incontinence issues plus the probability of future surgery. Plus DH's family make babies with huge heads. DS was under seven pounds with this long skinny body and this giant head (19th percentile for weight/90 something for head size). Both his sisters tore badly as did his DM.

What really made up my mind though was they tried forceps to see if they could unstick DS from whatever he was stuck on before the emcs. The subsequent bruising and swelling from that (no cuts/tears just bruising) was more painful than the recovery from the section. Within 24 hours I was walking to and from NICU without pain relief but I felt like someone had repeatedly punched me between the legs for days.

I'm in a similar situation in that I need to choose an elcs or natural birth after i tore with vaginal delivery 3 years ago. Common sense says elcs is lowest risk for me, but dreading the recovery with newborn and older toddler, so am considering natural birth. Risks of further tearing are low but real!