Terrified every day

[EmmaHealy23]

I’m currently 22 weeks into my most successful pregnancy so far. Have had a history of miscarriage, which were in the 1st trimester, and it seems I’ve got much further along this time...but I’m still petrified. Every single day I feel I’m just trying (and failing) to distract myself. I thought once I made it to 12 weeks the anxiety would magically disappear, then I thought maybe 20 weeks...I don’t know anymore. I guess I’m just asking if I’m alone? Anyone else feel like this, even at this stage?

I’ve tried counselling, sadly hasn’t worked for me although the counsellor herself was just lovely. I just feel I’m going out of my mind.

Omg. That's just unbelievable. Not really someone to share pregnancy experiences with .

I won't say anything as you get shot down if you criticise those who smoke when pregnant...but it's amazing just how cavalier so many people can be when they are told in no uncertain terms what the risks are. I'm currently 27 weeks pregnant with DC2 and I've suffered from terrible migraines for the past week or so. I didn't dare take paracetamol, just in case (even though everything suggests moderate use of paracetamol is fine!).

On the smoking subject, I once met someone who STARTED smoking when she was pregnant because she "didn't want a big baby". I mean...WTAF?!

With regard to the stillbirth comment, everyone else said it almost never happens so they hadn't even thought about it. I said that at least 10 babies are stillborn every day and they kicked off saying that wasn't true and it was more like 10 a year. I just wanted to scream. It meant I couldn't talk about my true fears as they just didn't see that as being valid yet, like you said, they all understood the fear of not losing the baby weight .

STARTED smoking? Lol wow! I'm not knocking people smoking or anything, think it just highlights the different levels of worry...I didn't dare have more than one cup of tea without a freak out! It just goes to show how some people disregard worry and just think 'meh, it will be fine!' and then there is me checking every bit of toilet paper like columbo! I wish I could steal a bit of their happy-go-lucky-ness! X

Hi Emma, I totally get where you're coming from, I'm in the very early stages of pregnancy after an early MC and a late loss in the last year. I'm really lucky that I have a healthy 3yr old already and remember the how lovely that pregnancy was. I knew the stats about stillbirth and MC, but just didn't believe they would happen to me, but I was aware of quite a few friends who were anxious.

This time around I am frightened of everything, including things that have nothing to do with the pregnancy (nuclear war, global warming, you name it). I have had some support following the last loss and it really helped me to understand that this is normal, the trauma of a miscarriage is significant and as well as the normal grief there are symptoms that are associated with trauma like hypervigilance and anxiety. We aren't going crazy, we are responding normally, things will get better with time, in the meantime, keep talking, we're all happy to listen.

Hi Cyclingfangirl! Sorry to hear you too are one of us anxious girls! I think honestly once you have had a loss you just lose your innocence, l think you illustrate this more than anyone imo with how happy and carefree you were the first time around vs the anxiety that follows a loss.

I think just talking, hearing and sharing stories, it's all helping me. A few weeks ago I thought there must be something inherently wrong with me to feel this way, but I think it's more common than I thought, and it makes sense doesn't it, we all just want to look after our much longed for babies, that's not so unusual is it?

I realise in my particular circumstance that whilst my fears are valid, but the amount that I worry about it is making my life harder. Just wish I could get a better grip on the anxiety itself and the thoughts that keep me up at night. Still, day by day I seem to be betting through it, one day at a time and definitely good and bad days xx

Coffee I’ve just remembered when I was pregnant with DD this time last year, I had cold after cold after cold. One of them gave me a bit of a fever and swollen glands - a GP I went to see (after the 3rd consecutive heavy cold) saw my panic stricken face after she suggested paracetamol, and gently reassured me they were fine to take. I did take them, but just for a day! I even worried about the daily aspirin I had to take (with my first pregnancy I developed pre-eclampsia and was advised to take aspirin from 12 weeks) on top of the worry about developing pre-eclampsia again.

Hope you’re feeling ok today OP, the sun is out here and I hope it is with you too

Peachy I can completely understand your worry! So pleased everything turned out ok, especially with pre-eclampsia. How scary!

Cycling. I'm so sorry to hear about your rough journey. I think it's more than understandable that you had anxiety after all that!

Hope you are ok today OP. Another day (almost) down!!!

End of another week ladies, hope everyone has a good weekend and we manage to relax a little bit