URGENT! Help, do we tell them?

[Heregoeseverything]

I am due to be my friend's bridesmaid at her wedding next year. My husband is to be groomsman at the same wedding.

My friend has just told me that it looks like they are about to finally lock down a date for the wedding after a number of changes for various reasons.

The problem is, I am 7 weeks pregnant and the date chosen is 16 days before my due date (though I will likely have a Caesarean two weeks early). The wedding will be in Spain. So I won't be able to travel to the wedding, and there must be a real chance of my DH being unable to go either if baby arrives early (I arrived early) or Caesarean is recommended for just before or the day of the wedding.

We have both been quite clear that we don't want to tell anyone at all until after the 12-week scan - ie we have not even told our parents. I hate the thought of people knowing about a miscarriage or termination for medical reasons, and feel more relaxed without the additional expectation/potential disappointment of others being attached to the pregnancy.

But I'm thinking our friends might be cross if we tell them too late that neither of us can go? I think the couple would probably go ahead if only I couldn't go, but might well want to switch if neither of us could go, my DH being the groom's oldest friend.

Should we tell them?

OP my waters went 15 days before my due date, I had no indication before then that something was going to happen, and was even counting down to 40+10 which is when I would be induced! I didn’t give birth for another 25 hours so in your case there would be time for your DH to get home but would you really want that stress?

I’m glad you told them, and I think you’re right not to assume baby won’t come while DH was away. My DS arrived five weeks early and with a fast 6 hour labour.

Thank you @mummyh2016 and lifeofpies !

I'm not putting any pressure on my DH and will feel guilty if I don't go early (!) but he won't countenance taking the risk of me even starting into labour alone and if I'm honest I'm very touched. I know how much this wedding means to him (and to me, but that can't be helped!). Sorry to drip feed here (!) but bride and groom met through us and we are just so delighted for them both. In any other circumstances wild horses wouldn't stop us.

I agree with your DH. It’s a shame about missing the wedding but can’t be helped.

An update, in case anyone is interested... they moved the wedding forward by 5 weeks. So excited to be able to attend, all going well!

Here goes.... you
Might not be able to fly that far along. Might need to check that one!

@Stuckinstressville If it hadn't occurred to me to check before they moved their wedding I would have no business procreating...!

chortle!