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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

do people actually use the withdrawl method?

68 replies

nappyaddict · 17/04/2007 02:35

i just came across this post when i was googling and it really made me feel quite sad for the op. this is what she said.

Hey guys, my name is Bethany and I am really new at all of this.. I just have some questions about what I've been feeling lately.. wondering if you guys could tell me what you think?? I am not good at keeping track of AF, but I know I am VERY CLOSE to starting.. within a week or two...

Feeling:
light headed and dizzy
more of an appetite than usual
I have a constant CM.. more than usual (thick, wet.. it just depends)
I am hungry in the morning (and I NEVER used to eat breakfast)
Weird cramps.. like dull, tickly pain? (don't know how to explain)
Hot flashes at night
A few break out spots
Sore under armpits, outside of BBs..
Running nose, but no cold (only on occasion.. I noticed other people had this posted under their symptoms..)
Nausea- not bad, just a queezy feeling
Constipation

I'm young, never been through this before.. my BF and I have been together over a year.. lately haven't been using protection, although we are "safe" about it.. (I know there is no SAFE.. but he never does it in me..)

that last line did it for me. i know i am no angel, i am 18 with a baby, but i was ob the pill, inever thought i couldn't get pregnant if my bf "didn't do it in me."

then after posting this i wondered if actually i was being a bit judgemental and maybe people do actually use this as a method of contraception on the grounds that if they did accidentally get pregnant it wouldn't be the end of the world?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

NotQuiteCockney · 17/04/2007 10:53

I have a friend who has used this successfully for years (no babies, no pregancies). I have other friends who have used this method and ended up pregnant by accident. I think it really does depend on the bloke, tbh.

It's also worth knowing, the pre-ejaculate doesn't generally contain sperm, but it does if the man has ejaculated within the last couple of hours. So if you are sensible about this, and very good about the withdrawal part of the procedure, it can work for you.

I'd think this would be best combined with some sort of fertility monitoring.

Of course, like any method of birth control it won't have a 100% effectiveness rate, it sounds quite unpleasant, particularly to the bloke (at least to me!), and you are very very dependant on the bloke's self control etc.

Oblomov · 17/04/2007 10:54

We use it.
Ds was planned, although a bit early, because we were hoping for a bit more 'practicing '

Summerfruit · 17/04/2007 10:55

Message withdrawn

DimpledThighs · 17/04/2007 11:02

Ypou have to really trust the bloke to have the control to 'pull out' in time.

Saw Billy Connely doing stand up and he talked about the withdrawal method and he said 'I don't know about you but at that point in time wild horses wouldn't drag me out of there.'

doggiesayswoof · 17/04/2007 11:06

I think there's a huge difference between using this 'method' in ignorance, like the quote in the OP, and using it with your eyes open (as it were)

Dh and I use it. It would not be the end of the world if I got pg but we're not ttc as such.
My cycle is very regular so I know when we need to be more careful/use condoms.
I don't want to use hormonal methods of contraception.
We both dislike condoms.
I'm looking into trying the diaphragm but haven't got round to it yet.
Works fine for us (so far ), but I would not do it if I really desperately wanted to avoid pregnancy.

BexieID · 17/04/2007 11:23

We did on out last holiday and came back with a little souvenir . As we only saw each other about 4 times a year I never bothered to go on the pill. Will do once I stop BF. We do use condoms (forgot them on that holiday) and did have a little 'scare' before I was pregnant. But I felt ready to have kids by then.

Now we are living together with Bubba Tom. We do plan to have another at some point, maybe go on holiday again?

Tatties · 17/04/2007 11:25

I'm with Billy Connolly on this one

zephyrcat · 17/04/2007 11:37

We use it. I'm now pg with #4. The second unplanned one. We won't be using it again. I am going to personally give dp a vasectomy.

MrsMar · 17/04/2007 12:31

as pregnantgirrl said, it's very catholic!! I went to a convent school and most of my friends had children in their late teens early 20s (all unplanned, but much loved and very happily in relationships with the fathers thank God!) between three of them they have 16 children from using the withdrawal method!!! My friend got pg the first time she had sex using withdrawal! Nuff said!

finbarr · 17/04/2007 12:34

i know what you mean suzywong - although, and this is totally tmi - with me on top, it takes some trust on his part too to believe I will jump off at the dangerous moment and not trick him into 4th kid........

Oblomov · 17/04/2007 12:58

I agree with doggie - if you are doing this, is ignorance, you are totally MAD.
If you do, know the riskd, appreciate that a pregnancy is a possibility - like We have done - and like doggie does, then it is totally fine.

I am still waiting for my "contraception for diabetics on a pump", appointment. 3 Months I have been waiting. Have GP's appoint this week, in order ro chase up.

honeyapple · 17/04/2007 13:06

What really does it matter to anyone else what form of contraception a couple choose to use or not use?

I hate the pill, the coil gives me the creeps, DP hates condoms, so we have successfully used the withdrawal method for several years. I am now PG- but from a PLANNED pregnancy. Of course if I had got pregnant earlier we would not have minded.
TBH people fall pregnant when they are on the pill too.

Blandmum · 17/04/2007 13:12

It interests me because I have to teach sex ed to teenagers. Getting views from a variety of women about their contraceptive choices is both interesting to me and helpful for my lesson planning.

mawbroon · 17/04/2007 13:15

For anyone who knows Edinburgh, this method is known here as "Getting off at Haymarket"

PMSL

Blandmum · 17/04/2007 13:18

Getting off at Cardiff and having a ticket to Newport in S wales!

marieg76 · 17/04/2007 13:18

i don't think that I'd like this method at all. The really super passionate moment of sex with your OH is surely the orgasm? I'd find it a real passion killer.

"Enjoying that honey? Now GET OUT!"

Greenleeves · 17/04/2007 13:22

DH and I had some fairly detailed instruction in the withdrawal method - called "Natural Family Planning" (NFP) when we were sent on an "engaged encounter" weekend at a retreat in Wiltshire. The priest who married us (Franciscan monk) would only do so on condition that we went on this weekend. It was pretty gruesome actually, there were about 20 couples there and loads of staunchly Catholic middle-aged "instructors", mostly couples, giving lectures and going into horrid detail about their sexual and personal lives. And loads of making us write letters to each other about our deepest feelings/reservations/peeves etc, and then swapping them and discussing them. Gruesome.

The withdrawal bit was interesting though hideaously embarrassing - they went into quite a lot of detail about cervical mucus and temp etc, and waxed lyrical about the days of "abstinence" being spiritual, like fasting, and a good opportunity to concentrate on "other activities" in the bedroom

Blandmum · 17/04/2007 13:24

Thank you for that stunning insight into 'real' Catholic contraception

Just put the buggers off the whole thing eh?

Sudder at the thought of people 'sharing' experiences. Mind you, brave of them to do it. I can never really believe that other people actually do have sex!

Greenleeves · 17/04/2007 13:27

The worst one was the two prim-looking churchy people who described their most intimate habits as if they were discussing church flowers. This portly mid-fifties woman in a pleated Hyacinth Bucket skirt saying "sometimes when I want to turn Gary on I might rub up against him in the kitchen"

Or maybe it was the hairy grizzled old priest who got all misty-eyed telling us all how he was constantly "amazed by the physical beauty of women" and what a satisfying spiritual buzz it was to deny himself nooky, and channel all that burning sexual energy into loving his parishioners

Blandmum · 17/04/2007 13:28

I really want to find that last post positive and sweet and life affirming. And in many ways it is.

But in so many ways.....(shudder)

Greenleeves · 17/04/2007 13:33

It wasn't sweet, trust me, it was murder. My toes are curling just thinking about it.

morningpaper · 17/04/2007 13:42

GReensleeves

I wonder with the withdrawal method whether it is surely more useful with men who ermm don't EMIT much before the ermmm final emission

I mean some men make a LOT of mess beforehand, and some make none at all

Surely if you make no mess at all beforehand then you are transmitting less or no sperm beforehand?

morningpaper · 17/04/2007 13:42

more tea vicar?

Blandmum · 17/04/2007 13:47

before a man ejaculates the urethra gets 'flushed' out to neuttralise the urine (which would kill of some sperm). Some sperm can be carried in this.

honeyapple · 17/04/2007 13:53

Just like to say that I dont think you can compare teenage sex with that in a long term relationship of 30 something year olds.
And BTW there are other places for a man to ejaculate...

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