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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Pregnant with 6th..mother has said I should abort ! :-|

48 replies

icantgetnosleep5 · 15/11/2017 13:58

I guess this is a bit of a rant and an appeal for opinions / support..
I'm in my early 30's , have been with my OH for 15 years, we have five healthy, happy children.

Our youngest is only a year old and this pregnancy wasn't planned .. But we have a large house and we have 100k + income (and I'm a stay at home mum& their dad works from home).
We rely on no one for child care help or money to support the children, but my mum is Cross with me.
She says I should have a termination and put the children I already have before the one who is 'a bunch of cells'.

My children often ask when we are having another baby and our home is a noisy, happy one. I can understand that I'm old enough to 'know better' about getting pregnant , but in my defence I haven't even had a period since my 1 year old was born and I'm still breastfeeding through the night and we had been careful.

Sorry for the long thread, I literally found about the pregnancy this morning and my OH is on a rare works trip away so want to wait til he gets back and tell him properly.
But now I just feel sick to my stomach, we weren't planning anymore, but I can't imagine having a termination when we all love each other so much, even though the thought of putting my body and mind through another pregnancy right now makes me feel sad when my youngest is still young etc
Blleeeuuurghhh thanks so much for taking the time to read x

OP posts:
stealtheatingtunnocks · 15/11/2017 14:00

Your mum's a dick.

Sorry to be blunt.

It's your body, your choice.

Waytroze · 15/11/2017 14:00

I don't see any reason why you shouldn't continue with the pregnancy, if that's what you want. Your mum needs to keep her judgement to herself.

schoolgaterebel · 15/11/2017 14:01

Congratulations Flowers

Did you tell your DM before telling your DH?

WhatKatyDidNotDo · 15/11/2017 14:04

Do what you want to do, not what your mum thinks you should do.

Congratulations OP.

Original poster
icantgetnosleep5 · 15/11/2017 14:05

Thanks for the messages x
I did tell my mum first , only because she arrived at the house moments after I had taken the test and I cdnt arrange my face or appear normal enough quick enough (I presumed it would be the postman or tbh I wdnt have gone to the door)!

She says tht my youngest will be forced to grow up too quickly and it's cruel :-/

OP posts:
Original poster
icantgetnosleep5 · 15/11/2017 14:10

I already feel guilty for not being thrilled at seeing tht double line, like it was with my other positive tests.. Everything is wonderful and I am a bit scared this sixth baby could tip the balance But I know this baby will be loved. I know six children certainly isn't the norm , I am dreading the OMG ur Mental comments

OP posts:
lovelyjubilly · 15/11/2017 14:11

I hope you told your mum to butt out.

Fekko · 15/11/2017 14:14

Tell your mum to shut the hell up, get on board and never mention it again.

Mum was in the same situation with me, and being brought up always knowing that someone had lobbied for your destruction pre-birth is rally really shitty.

Congratulations! 5, 6 - what's the difference really?

Justbookedasummmerholiday · 15/11/2017 14:16

Congratulations, tell your dm your will forgive her for the unwelcome remark if she can now congratulate you immediately or she can stay away.
As the dm of 11 number 6 will be a breeze. Grin

SomehowSomewhere1 · 15/11/2017 14:20

Hi,
2.4 or whatever may be the norm, but 6 is far from unheard of, I think it’s a lovely number. Will the youngest, rather than missing out, have the advantage of growing up with someone so close in age - they can share lots.

Expectingbsbunumber2 · 15/11/2017 14:23

I think that's bang out of order for your mum saying that. If That was my mum I would have said something. It sounds like you have everything sorted so if you and our partner are happy to have another baby go for it. Who cares what your mum thinks it's your life!

JoJoSM2 · 15/11/2017 14:30

That’s a horrendous thing of your mother to say. And none of her business what you do.

TheLegendOfBeans · 15/11/2017 14:34

I am secretly jealous - I would love to go for six but time will not be on my side.

You sound like you have a good life where the children are happy, provided for, secure and as your DH works from home a decent amount of equal parental input.

Did you have any health issues after #5? Have all your pregnancies been relatively plain sailing? I only ask as that seems the only reason your mom may have reacted how she did.

But all things considered, she’s bang out of line. Please don’t let her piss on your parade x

DeadDoorpost · 15/11/2017 14:52

I know a lot of people with 1 or 2 and allot of people with 5 children. I'm one of 8 (blended family) and actually it's great. It doesn't mean the youngest will have to grow up quickly. They still have time to be a child while the baby is Here! And if your children are already excited about another one then why Not?
Your mum is definitely insensitive. Luckily I will never have the problem of any of my parents or in laws being that way as they're really supportive and love large families (DH is one of 9) but even still, she shouldnt have said what she did. Could it maybe have been shock though? Or do you think she'll come around to the idea of you keeping it if that's what you decide on?

And you may not have been happy at first but it could definitely change over time. Just remember sometimes it's a huge shock especially when you weren't trying it expecting it to happen. It doesn't mean you'll feel the same way throughout the pregnancy.
I'm
Whatever you decide,good luck!

AnUtterIdiot · 15/11/2017 15:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Roofonfire · 15/11/2017 15:09

I am one of 9! It's been great! Your mum should stay out of it.
I am currently on number 2 so only 3 more to go for me lol

PolarBearGoingSomewhere · 15/11/2017 15:19

I bet it was the shock. If you felt shocked she probably did too, and abortion is a totally valid choice for an unplanned pregnancy. I don't think she was being unreasonable to put the idea out there but to follow it up with comments on your existing children was out of order. If she's usually supportive though I'd again put it down to shock.

Don't discuss the surprise element of the pregnancy with her again and I'm sure she will not go near the abortion topic again once she sees you're happy and excited.

Congratulations! Flowers

ICanNeverThinkOfAGoodUsrname · 15/11/2017 16:56

YOUR pregnancy has absolutely nothing to do with your mum.

She needs to butt out and keep her unwanted opinions to herself, what matters is what you and your partner want.

thingymaboob · 15/11/2017 17:05

If I were in your shoes I'd definitely keep the baby.

CatchIt · 15/11/2017 17:09

Wow! I take my hat off to you! 😀

Your mum is a dick, sorry, but what’s it to do with her?

My mil had a friend with 6 children and she said it was always the happiest house she’d ever been in. That woman loved all her children and they too had parents who loved and cared for them. She often talks about her with great fondness she also wants me to have another 4 which is never happening!

Original poster
icantgetnosleep5 · 15/11/2017 17:58

Thanks so much for giving your time to read and reply to my post, really appreciate it :)
Someone asked if I'd had previous difficult pregnancies (which could explain my mum being such a div), but all my pregnancies and births have been plain sailing.
I've got more and more cross with her (in my head) throughout the day, she isn't even a particularly emotionally involved grandma and I certainly never ask her to babysit. She is unfortunately well known for being insensitive at times and saying the wrong thing, but it still hurts! She's never congratulated me and been genuinely happy for me on any of my pregnancies , even though I've been thrilled. My DH is a Really great, hands on dad too.

And she's meant to be a bloody catholic ! Lol

OP posts:
Original poster
icantgetnosleep5 · 15/11/2017 18:01

Do you think when we next speak that I should tell her that I was hurt by her comments / that she was out of order saying them.. Or just tell not bring it up if she dsnt again?!

OP posts:
SarahH12 · 15/11/2017 18:03

That's really awful of your mum. She has no business telling you what you should do, especially as you clearly weren't asking for advice!

Congratulations on the pregnancy! And don't worry about your youngest. Tbh they're probably young enough to not even remember the difference between things when they did not having a younger sibling.

SarahH12 · 15/11/2017 18:03

Sorry, cross post. Do you think she'd be receptive to you telling her the comments hurt?

Ausparent · 15/11/2017 18:04

I am one of 5 kids and one more wouldn't have made much of a difference to be honest!

You need to make a decision with your DH and base it on what is best for your family. 6 kids is unusual now bit has only been that way for a generation. Whatever your mum's view or reasons behind it it is not your problem.