Pregnant after mmc

[Alwaysatyke]

Not quite sure what I'm after here - maybe experiences from anyone who's been through similar:

I had a mmc a few months ago - thought I was 12 weeks but baby measured 9.5 and there was no hb (I posted about this at the time and got some wonderful support). Naturally I was devastated and afterwards I struggled with grief a lot more than I expected to.

Found out last week I'm pregnant again (hurrah!). About 4-5 weeks. I totally expected to be nervous and to find it harder to relax but I'm conscious that I'm already low-grade fretting about every little stomach ache and there's a long way to go until I'll be able to feel settled.

How do you get through this time? I'm trying to put it to the back of my mind and just get past each week but keeping on top of the anxiety is so tough and i don't want to become a total wreck

I went through same thing OP, GP was very understanding and arranged an early scan, 8 weeks which was brilliant I was able to relax and enjoy a bit more then. Up until then though it’s difficult, counting every week.

Thank you - I hope all is going (has gone?) well for you this time. I thought about going for an early scan but I'm not sure it'd help (I mean last time all would've been fine at 8 weeks so it can't completely reassure me). Hoping that as each week goes by it'll get easier, I want to be able to enjoy this!

This happened to me a couple of years back, had a MMC with my first pregnancy which was really tough. 3 months later I was pregnant with my DS. If I'm honest I did spend a great deal of the pregnancy being worried about every twinge and symptom, but I think it is to be expected. Those ongoing thoughts just became second nature and in lots of ways that constant awareness was pretty good prep for living with a newborn

A couple of things that did help - scans! When I had the MMC the EPU told me to come back for an early scan if I got pregnant. I went at seven weeks. It was a drop in service, you self-referred and was first come first serve... had to wait a while to be seen but was worth it for the reassurance. At 10 weeks I had another wobble and paid for a private scan ... I felt a bit out of control crazy when I booked it, but I'm so glad i did... it gave me just the reassurance I needed to make the final two weeks to the twelve week scan. Other thing was pregnancy yoga, having time each week to reflect and focus on myself and the pregnancy really helped me keep balanced for the rest of the week. Once the movement and kicks come in it all gets a bit easier as you have a constant reminder that baby is ok.

Good luck with it, I know how scary it is, but just hang in there and it will be worth it.

Hey OP-we had 3 early miscarriages and you do find you deal with things differently. I was given fab advice by a consultant to be as positive as possible. Really focus on seeing the positive side to this pregnancy and I second asking for an early scan at 7/8 weeks to make sure all is well. I'm pretty sure you will be supported in this if you call an EPU near you?

Thank you all - the impression i got from our epu was that you can't request an early scan if you're asymptomatic but i could be wrong. Will chat to mw when i have booking in appt (four weeks away! Four bloody weeks to wait!) and see what she suggests. I will get through this!

So sorry to hear of your mmc. I've been there too, and it's so distressing and disorientating isn't it. Mine was about 5 years ago and we don't yet have any children - although I am currently pg, so we'll see. Yours was so recent, have you had any counselling or support in dealing with it?

The only advice I can give, and I totally accept that this won't be helpful to everyone, is to focus on what you have right now (social life, family and friends, disposable income, freedom...!). We are trying to view my current condition as purely medical and avoid thinking too far ahead. I don't know about you, but it was the hopes and dreams aspect that hit me much harder than the physical part of the mmc.

I wish you all the very best for this pregnancy

I've got a 4yo so freedom is very limited! But she's part of the reason I found it all so hard to accept; in my head I was a few days away from telling her she'd be a big sister so it felt really cruel to have that taken away.

I was actually already having counselling before it happened - CBT for anxiety/depression. It was helping pretty well but obviously the whole thing was a bit of a setback. I did pursue some grief counselling but it wasn't for me.

It sounds like you've been through a lot brogueish (and everyone else), I hope this time goes well for you

I had this too, unfortunately they wouldn’t give me an early scan, but I did pay for one privately before 12 weeks and that helped.

I know some people hate them but I found a Home Doppler kept me sane after the 12 week scan and before the 20 week one. I just couldn’t cope with the thought that the baby may have died inside me again and I had no idea. Being able to listen to the heartbeat every few days kept me positive and kept me going. Once I had proper movements I could feel I didn’t use it anymore.

Good luck with your pregnancy, my LO is now 6 months old xxx

Mothercare have a great scanning facility where you can get an early scan? Might be worth it. I think it's about £70?

Oh, yes I can see that must have been felt doubly cruel

I completely agree with the posters above about asking for an early scan. I expect that there is some local variance, but with your recent experience and anxiety, I would definitely push for it. You can self refer or walk in to most EPUs I think, or could you have a chat with your GP and ask them to refer you? Perfectly reasonable under the circumstances! Really hope you can get some reassurance that will help.

I'm almost 20 weeks pregnant after mmc between Xmas and New Year last Year. I'm a lot more anxious this time around and have got through it by having regular private scans (at 8, 10, 16 and 18 weeks so far...). Bit ott and expensive but the reassurance they have given me is worth it for peace of mind. As PP said I can't stand the thought of walking around clueless that the baby had died like last time.

I did plan on stopping these once I could feel the baby moving but have been told that I have an anterior placenta (which cushions the movements) so have informed my partner that a few more scans will be required! It's normal to feel more anxious after such a horrible experience so I

Sorry posted too soon!
So I would approach your EPU to see what they say about having an early reassurance scan / private scan.
Hope everything goes well.

I had a mmc in April. We had a private scan at 8 weeks, but baby measured only 5. I had a sinking feeling pretty much from the moment I got pregnant that something wasn't right (why I booked the scan) and of course, it wasn't. I had a d&c at 11weeks. We fell pregnant again in May and I'm now 27 weeks.

What really helped me was staying busy and active and booking another private scan. I know your mmc was a bit later, but for me, having a scan really put my mind at ease. I didn't actually use it this time (too busy) but with my first I did the natal hypnotherapy pregnancy relaxation tracks in 1st tri and that helped tremendously with any worry. It might be worth a try. Otherwise, staying busy and booking a scan to break up the time between 4 and 12 weeks might help.

Thank you everyone for some really great advice, and for sharing your experiences - it's good to be reminded that I'm not the only person feeling this way

Returning here on the slim chance anyone is still watching and can talk some sense into me:

I'm now 10wks ish and yesterday I got a tiny bit of pinkish discharge after going to the loo. Called EPU who said to watch and wait for 24hrs as it was fairly normal at this stage etc etc. Same thing has happened a couple more times since but not every time. Not proper blood like a period but definitely traces there, and no stomach cramps/pain (except for the stress I'm now inevitably feeling)

Should I call EPU again or give it a bit more time to declare itself one way or the other? Whatever's happening i can't change the outcome but think I'd rather know earlier if it has gone wrong again

Hi OP oh gosh big hugs. That's so worrying It won't hurt to give them a call and see what they say. If not then try your GP. They saw me straight away and got me booked in same day for a scan (but it wasn't Christmas..). Fingers crossed for you x

Sorry to hear this OP, must be so worrying, but spotting in first trimester is common and not usually harmless. A good rule of thumb i was given is if it’s less blood than your period it is probably fine. I can’t imagine how worried you must be and by all means do call them, but rest assured this happens to lots of pregnant women who go on to have healthy pregnancies. Good luck

Thanks both - I think I'll see how I am in the morning and give them a call for advice again. Because the last time was a mmc I'm so wary that it could have happened already without any real symptoms to warn me, so anything concrete is just really hard to be logical about. If i were on the outside I'd be telling me how common it is and not to stress but it's harder to take my own advice!

Thinking of you

Thank you - am trying to prepare myself by accepting that I've lost it. Got a scan booked on Thursday at EPU so just waiting now

Good luck with your scan OP, please let us know x

Thank you for your support everyone - unfortunately it was not good news, once again the baby measured about 2 weeks too small and had no heartbeat. Booked in for ERPC tomorrow but bleeding has increased a lot so not sure I'll need it.