So... just got told you SHOULDN'T push by midwife

[overmybreadbody]

Long story short...
Attended a hypnobirthing class on the weekend, and got taught the up/down breathing method.

Essentially - you "breathe" the baby out using downward breaths and let your body do the work, only pushing if YOU need to and not on the basis that midwives shout "pusssshhhh!!!" as per all TV, film footage of birth.

I'm confused, please can someone (who has had a baby fairly recently advise) is this new methodology?

Sometimes I fear the language of empowerment and trust your body and so on, can lead to a conclusion that if something went wrong, it must be your fault for having done something wrong

There is absolutely no point in lying there waiting for someone to tell you what to do either. You need to listen to your body and you need communication with the midwife so that you both know what is going on and can work together - especially if it is not going to plan.

Hopefully everyone else gets a midwife that is more open to communication than mine. I should have had my twins in theatre with a team of doctors/midwives/paediatricians in case anything went wrong with my second baby at the last minute. This did not happen because she did not tell me that she thought I could wait until the day staff came on, so I could not tell her that I was going to have them a lot faster than that.

I had to get on with it when the moment arrived, and thankfully they arrived safely. I am not sure I could have done it without extensive preparation just in case (or without DH telling me what was happening at the other end).

How bizarre. I couldn't help but push. I remember with my first and I was left alone for hours labouring and all of a sudden I thought I needed a poop (baby coming right down) and I was pushing and couldn't stop pushing, it was completely overwhelming! Same with my second. Caveman sound style involuntary pushing!

Hypnobirthing is more about listening to your body and pushing/breathing as you need to, rather than having coached pushing where the midwife tells you when to do it. My hypno midwife actually said 'If someone said I'll give you a million pounds not to push' you wouldn't be able to stop because the urge is so strong. She's right. It's amazingly powerful.

But Quilliam, several posters here have said they didn't feel any urge to push, powerful or otherwise. We can't expect that our own experiences of childbirth will be the same as for others.

Four babies here, not once felt the urge to push. I've had to be seriously instructed when to push by midwives and have had very slow progress at the pushing stage with all of them. In my last birth the midwife kept telling me to just push when I felt the urge and I kept telling her I just never had the urge. I asked so many times if I was ready to push and she just kept telling me to listen to my body FFS. Turns out my body is selectively mute.

Thank God there was a shift change and an old school midwife rocked up who took my face in her hands and shouted at me some very specific instructions.

That's fine, Bowling. All I'm saying is that perhaps the interpretation of a hypnobirthing midwife saying 'breathe the baby out' (i.e. don't push) is a misunderstanding. Mine certainly didn't tell me not to.

I never had the urge to push at all. Possibly because ds was wedged fast and never got low enough even though I was fully dilated but as I'd been told it would just happen naturally by everyone it was hugely stressful. In the end I just pushed whenever I felt a contraction but he stayed stuck. No one yelled push at me though.

I'm pregnant again now and everyone is very quick to point out that if I do decide to go for a vbac (not a snowball's chance in hell) I could have a very different experience but they seem to forget to mention the huge variations you could encounter the first time around.

I felt the urge to push at 8cm, I pushed and pushed and pushed, losing all my energy. I was in the birthing pool and the midwife couldn’t see shit with that little mirror she was dunking in the water. She didn’t insist on me coming out of the pool to check the dilation, either, just said to do what my body felt was right but at that point I was so high on gas and air I didn’t know who was in the room. I ended up with an emergency c-section as soon as the midwife went home and another midwife started her shift, delivering my baby blue and unresponsive with an apgar score of 3/10. Thankfully he improved very quickly after he was resuscitated but if I was to go through this shit again I’d either want an elcs or to be on a bed and examined properly (just like I was with my older DC) so this wouldn’t happen again.

I pushed hard, and tore harder!

Thanks for all of the responses.

I aim to continue with hypnobirthing and then go with the flow on the day/days...

I think in all honesty I'm hoping to pearls of wisdom because I'm bloody terrified

Honestly, don't worry. It'll be fine. Just trust your body and remember the drugs are there if you need them. I'm a total wimp usually and I had two drug-free births that were intense but quick. You've got this!

I did hypnobirthing too. I’ve had 2 babies so far. The first I did a lot more pushing than second time around. The second I breathed through much more. To be honest she probably would have been born quicker if I’d push more but it’s exhausting and quite painful. You just need to decide what you want to do at the time. It’s your body it’s your baby just take which ever advice fits best with you. There are no hard and fast rules.