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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

DH at which appointments

69 replies

HolyShmoly · 02/10/2017 20:11

Hi, which appoints did your DP come along to? Ive told my DH that he's coming to the initial GP appointment (although it sound like that's not much) but then I guess it's just the scans? Is it useful for him to be at the booking in appointment or any of the others?
It's all very, very new!

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Mrsknackered · 02/10/2017 20:13

IME, the first initial GP appointment tends to just be a 'congratulations, you need to book in with the midwife!'

Perhaps the first MW appointment would be better for him to come too. The 12 week scan and 20 week scan (you'll have your 20 week scan booked following your 12 week scan) and I think at the 16 week MW appointment is when they first try to get a heartbeat on the Doppler - some midwives will and some won't.

Good luck!

Solasum · 02/10/2017 20:13

It isn't really useful for him to be at any of the appointments, it isn't his pregnancy. So entirely down to your preference. At booking in they may ask about previous abortions/miscarriages and any family history in case that could be an issue.

I'd save him up for the scans!

rollerbladersrule · 02/10/2017 20:13

I really wouldn't bother at the first appointment, especially if its actually with a GP rather than a midwife?

At 16 weeks the midwife usually tries to listen to the heartbeat for the first time thats a nice one, and the scans but other appointments are mainly paperwork, weeing in a pot and going through medical history.

Bubblysqueak · 02/10/2017 20:16

My docs don't do go appointments at all you just book straight in with the midwife. Booking in appointment was useful as all of the paperwork. My bloods wasn't taken until scans. So other than the first dh didn't really attend any (accept for the last one when I was in early labour and I needed someone to drive )

AccrualIntentions · 02/10/2017 20:16

Mine has only come to the scans and antenatal class it felt completely pointless him missing work for the other appointments.

At my booking in appointment they asked me questions about things like mental health and if I had any concerns about an abusive partner, so if he does go along to it there may be points when he is asked to step out.

KadabrasSpoon · 02/10/2017 20:16

It's your preference really but assuming he has limited time to take off work I'd just do the scans.
In my area there is no GP appointment and we book in with the hospital.
At various appointments such as booking in they might ask him to leave the room to talk about domestic violence and any sensitive medical history. If he has any family history of certain things e.g. sickle cell it's worth noting down though or bring him along.

Blahblahboo · 02/10/2017 20:18

Tbh nothing but the scans and even then he isn't needed, but it's still nice for him to go along . I absolutely wouldn't bother for any Dr or midwife appointment

Kintan · 02/10/2017 20:19

Mine only came for the scans. Better to save his annual leave for when the baby is here :)

runnerbean39 · 02/10/2017 20:20

Mine came to the scans but also came to the 16 week mw appt as we both weren't sure if he should or not - it wasn't worth it all! It was just urine, giving my bloods results etc. So he hasn't been to any other midwife appts since and hasn't needed to. He didn't come to the initial GP appt either and the GP just referred me on etc, wasn't really anything to it. But it's up to you anyway, do whatever is comfortable for you both

MaryShelley1818 · 02/10/2017 20:21

Mine came for the scans...no reason whatsoever for him to go to GP/midwife appointments, they're just medical appointments for you.

Saz626 · 02/10/2017 20:22

I think it's all personal preference and if he can take time off work. My partner has/is coming to the scans. My 20 week scan is tomorrow. I wish I'd have brought him along to the 16 week midwife appointment though just so he could hear the heart beat too on the dopler.

bonzo77 · 02/10/2017 20:23

12 and 20 weeks scans only. Other appointments only if difficult decisions to be discussed.

PerspicaciaTick · 02/10/2017 20:23

Midwife's booking in appointment is very useful (and he'll be able to answer questions about his own health and family medical history).
GP's first appt is a waste of time for everyone - if you can self-refer to your MW team I would (have a look at your local hospital website).
Then scans and appointments with consultant (if you need any) which may be important (not all consultant appts are important - some are just monitoring).

Wispygypsy · 02/10/2017 20:26

I seem to be different to everyone else on here... I wanted my dh to come to as many appointments as possible! I just felt like it was his baby too and he is just as excited about the pregnancy and if it was the other way around I wouldn't want to miss out on anything (although I agree not much happens at some appointments). I guess just do whatever works for you?

Mum2oneds · 02/10/2017 20:29

My dp came to first docs.. But purely because of ttc issues they said go straight away.. It was a Fri eve and they said come to a ' sister' surgery at 8pm.. So he came.
He came to first scan.. And will do second
We also had an early scan as thought ectopic. And a private one. ( as he was working away when we had follow up early scan)

He didn't come to the 16 week apt as he simply couldn't get time off work.. But the midwife let me record the hb to send him

Crumbs1 · 02/10/2017 20:32

Mine didn't come to any appointments except the first 16 week scan for the pregnancy after I'd lost a baby in third trimester. Not sure why he would, to be honest. He had work.

Anditstartsagain · 02/10/2017 20:35

Mine only came to the 12 week scan thats it. We had a private scan both times about 18 weeks so he skipped the 20 weeks. I don't see the point in partners coming to anything but scans especially when it means time off work.

I will say when you can't get a seat because of partners sitting in thw waiting room its very annoying.

Original poster

HolyShmoly · 02/10/2017 20:41

Thanks all. The GP appointment is after work so at least we won't have to take time off for that. I do need him to check something out on his own record so that should be handy.
We'll take the rest as it comes from the sounds of it.

OP posts:

jmscp2015 · 02/10/2017 20:42

Mine comes to every single one - because Thursdays are his day off and that’s when all my appts are. That’s the only reason, otherwise I’m sure it just would of been scans. My midwife isn’t the least bit bothered he attends with me.

NC1990 · 02/10/2017 20:46

Mine just came to 12 and 20-week scans. Tbh I never even contemplated inviting him along to midwife appointments, they generally don't last that long and he works a 40 min drive from our surgery. And I don't imagine watching the MW check my pee for infection would be all that interesting for him!

MrsPicklesonSmythe · 02/10/2017 20:54

Just scans unless there are problems. It's pretty rare to see men attending antenatal clinics really.

Original poster

HolyShmoly · 02/10/2017 21:01

I had no idea how many there were or what was involved, and there's no one really to ask other than here! There's bound to be lots more silly threads from me over the next few months. I just hope they are all as nice and straightforward as this one!

OP posts:

CL1982 · 02/10/2017 21:02

Mine has come to them all :)

Changerofname987654321 · 02/10/2017 21:13

Around here you don't need to see the GP to tell them you are pregnant, just ring up the receptionist and tell them.

Your first midwife appointment is long and boring and they ask you questions about your and your partners families' medical history so it can be useful to have him for that meeting. After that he just came to the scans.

WineAndTiramisu · 02/10/2017 21:18

I've told DP he's coming to the 20w scan, just in case of any issues, and we've had private scans at 8&10 weeks he's been to, so I'm going to 12 week one on my own, as the hospital (which I work at) is an hour away from his work, so seems a bit of a waste of time.

First MW appt would have been pointless as well, just lots of questions

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