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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

First midwife appointment

41 replies

Bambi29 · 01/10/2017 19:17

Hi everyone. I'm just looking for some advice. I have my booking in appointment with the midwife on Tuesday. I'm really excited but also really nervous. 13 years ago I first started trying with my ex, it never happened and we were referred for help. I was prescribed Clomid and managed to fall pregnant 3 times but miscarried very early on (literally days after the test). I had a coil fitted to help with heavy periods and it was removed 31st July. I've not had a period since and to be honest I'm amazed I fell pregnant at all, never mind so soon! So far it's been 12 days since I found out and I'm still worried it will end soon. Will the midwife be able to reassure me at all at the first appointment? Sorry for the ramble!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

gamerchick · 01/10/2017 19:20

Maybe, you’ll need a scan if you don’t know your dates. That might help.

Booking in is dead boring though, lots of form filling.

Congratulations, hope you have a very boring and uneventful pregnancy

MinnowAndTheBear · 01/10/2017 19:23

In my area the booking appointment was in the form of a lecture about the dangers of drinking/smoking/raw eggs, and then a quick "which hospital do you plan to give birth in?"
I got a massive health questionnaire to take home and fill out ready for my next, much more in depth, appointment.

DueNov · 01/10/2017 19:23

Midwife can't reassure you. A scan will. Midwife booking in appointment is pretty much just filling out paper work and mayb e even some blood work.

Original poster

Bambi29 · 01/10/2017 19:25

Yeah they sent a 4 page form over email for me to complete which wasn't the most exciting! I did explain all this on the phone and to be honest they couldn't have cared less which didn't exactly fill me with confidence but maybe it will be different on the day. Thank you! I really hope I do too. I have had sickness the past week which although is awful, I've never had before so it's still a novelty just now!

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forfuckssakenet · 01/10/2017 19:26

Congratulations! I too hope you have a wonderfully boring pregnancy and that you get your reassurance. I worried terribly until i could feel movement and then i worried less once a pattern was established. I feel for you op and i hope all goes well! xxx

Original poster

Bambi29 · 01/10/2017 19:27

Do you think the midwife will refer me for a scan? We were thinking of paying for one just for a little peace of mind

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mollifly · 01/10/2017 19:29

Booking appointment is form filling in, get your bounty pack, do bloods, talk about screening, urine sample, weigh you and do a co2 test. Lasts between an hour an hour and a half for me.

They will talk about what to do/what not to do. Mine was lovely and let me ask questions. I have found though they do try and dull your worries by just saying 'wait and see.'

Original poster

Bambi29 · 01/10/2017 19:33

Mollifly that's what I'm worried about. I am not a wait and see type of person and I can be quite forceful I think someone is trying to fob me off! I hope I have a nice midwife and she refers me for a scan, soon. Not in a bloody months time lol if not she will suffer my wrath!!!

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mollifly · 01/10/2017 19:42

I had bleeding in early pregnancy and was told to wait 10 days for a scan which seemed impossible so ended up having a private scan, is this something your budget could stretch to if you don't get what you want?

There is no harm explaining your worries and asking the question, this is your body and you know best. If a reassurance scan is what you need then that's what you should be given. Good luck

DueNov · 01/10/2017 19:54

At your booking in she will refer you for your 12 week scan. Otherwise it would have to be a private scan before that. I too filled in the form they sent and gave it to midwife she disregarded it and went through the questions with me anyway in her computer😂

Original poster

Bambi29 · 01/10/2017 20:39

I pity this poor midwife then! I've no idea how far on I am so how can she possibly work out when I should go for a 12 week scan? I'm fortunate that I can afford to go private but if I couldn't I'd have no option but to do nothing. I'm already a bit pissed off with them as when I phoned them and they said the 3rd for an appointment I explained my past history and said that I felt 2 weeks was a bit long and that I'd never stayed pregnant that long after finding out and she said "will I not bother making one then"!!! I asked for an earlier appointment and she just sighed and said "i said the 3rd" thanks for all your replies!!

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mindutopia · 01/10/2017 21:05

It really is just about just getting all the details to fill in your notes. They won't (and can't, really) do anything at booking to reassure you or give you much information from a medical perspective. It's too early for a doppler and though they will take some bloods and urine, none of that will come back until they see you at 16 weeks (and it's nothing you'd really want to know anyway, it's like hemoglobin, HIV, hepatitis, testing for cystic fibrosis, etc.). It's truly just a formality and about getting you in the system for later care. So no point having an earlier appointment anyway, unfortunately as it won't reassure you really.

I did have a mc before booking in my previous pregnancy, so for me it was important to have a private scan before my booking with this pregnancy. THAT was incredibly reassuring and felt I could relax and focus on the booking and feel a bit more positive. I'd really recommend going that route if you're able. Sending you positive vibes.

DueNov · 01/10/2017 21:18

Yeah it really is just that unfortunately. They'll ask to go by your last period. Even though I was on the pill they worked it out roughly on last period from the pill even though that could have been a false bleed! I'd recommend private scan if you are worried. I was worried. They sent me for 12week scan I wS measured at 10 weeks so had another at 12weeks. I paid for private at 16 and then NHS one at 20. Then started feeling her so stopped worrying so much. Then paid for private scan at 28 weeks as I wanted to see her in 4d. Good luck x

Frisbeefreedom · 01/10/2017 21:26

Congratulations!

If you have no idea how far along you are, I'd be pushing for an early scan. It's in their interest too really, certain tests have a very tight timeframe. But if you can't persuade the midwife of that, then do have a private scan if you can afford it. I had one and it definitely helped to put my mind at ease. Once you've seen a heartbeat on a scan your chances of everything turning out positive are massively increased.

My tip, if you think you'll be prone to worries (like me!) is to find out at the first appointment exactly who you can contact and when. Where I am it's A&E up to something like 16 weeks, then the antenatal unit or labour ward for any major concerns after that. I find it nigh on impossible to get hold of my midwife, but the antenatal unit are excellent for any worries so I just ring them.

Original poster

Bambi29 · 01/10/2017 21:26

My last period was approx mid April so Lord knows how they'll work out mine!! I know I'm not getting bloods done because I asked. I'm really needle phobic and pass out and have seizures so I'd need someone with me if that were the case (still really worried about this part and trying hard not to think about it). I'll speak to the midwife on Tuesday but if I feel like she doesn't listen and makes no effort to do anything like an early scan etc I'll go private but rest assured I will be complaining about it!

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Thirtyrock39 · 01/10/2017 21:33

The thing is though everybody wants their scan as soon as possible for reassurance but it's done at 12 weeks for a reason. I'd imagine you have some idea of how far a long you are if you've been testing and the midwife can only offer a set number of scans if there is no other concerns. If you really feel you need one for reassurance I think you'll have to pay for a private one.

gamerchick · 01/10/2017 21:35

You can’t demand an early scan just for reassurance. You’ll probably get a scan because of your dates but complaining won’t get you anywhere.

Maybe a private scan is the way to go.

Original poster

Bambi29 · 01/10/2017 22:00

It isn't for no reason. It's the fact that previously I had 3 miscarriages. Also I'd be complaining for the insensitive and unprofessional manner in which I was treated when I called to book the appointment. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask for a reassurance scan in the circumstances and it is certainly not unreasonable to expect to be spoke to with empathy and respect when explaining on the phone that I'd previously had 3 early miscarriages, not being asked if there is any point in booking an appointment, as if they didn't see any point because I'd prob a my lose the baby

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gamerchick · 01/10/2017 22:08

You’re assuming, if you go in there on the defense you’re going to interperate anything they say as a slight.

As I said, you’ll probably get booked in for a scan because of your dates. You won’t be able to demand an early one for reassurence.

You can make this as easy or hard as you choose. If you want to go in bolshy you’re not going to get anywhere.

If some one ‘really’ said what’s the point because you’ve had miscarriages then by all means put a complaint in.

Cagliostro · 01/10/2017 22:12

I was referred for an early scan simply because I wasn't sure of dates, perhaps that policy varies by area but with any luck you will too.

I really hope all is ok

Original poster

Bambi29 · 01/10/2017 22:18

Gamerchick why would I lie about what someone said?! They're exact words were "so will I not bother with the appointment then" after I explained my concerns. I highly doubt I would lie about that. Honestly smh. I'm quite willing to chat to the midwife about it and see what see advises. That doesn't mean I will be fobbed off. They're is a big difference between being "bolshy" and not being fobbed off.

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Original poster

Bambi29 · 01/10/2017 22:20

Cagliostro thanks! I'm not sure of dates to be honest, I've tried to guess but really no clue. I'd say the very most would be 6 weeks? But again I could be wrong! Hopefully the midwife can work it out better than me :)

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gamerchick · 01/10/2017 22:34

I’m only going on your posts OP. If that was the case then complain but you do not have the right to demand an early scan for reassurance alone.

Private scans are cheap enough, it’ll give you your dates at least.

Waitingonasmile · 01/10/2017 22:37

I'm so sorry for your previous losses that must have been awful.

I can only say how you are coming across here, and it seems you are already against the process/receptionist/appointment. To me it reads as though you are ready for a fight with everyone. I think you need to calm down or it'll be a very long 9 months. It also sounds as though you are twisting what the receptionist said. I don't dispute what she said could have sounded insensitive if you were already wound up.

You will probably get an earlier scan if your LMP was April. The first appointment is incredibly boring and just filling out forms, weight & BP taken. I did also get bloods taken but maybe this differs across hospitals.

Good luck

kirinm · 01/10/2017 22:45

I've got a history of recurrent miscarriages and an ectopic. The only reason I managed to get an early scan was because I was so freaked out about wanting to know the baby was in the right place. All they did initially was take my bloods a week apart and then at 7 weeks, gave me a scan. Unfortunately that pregnancy ended up in another miscarriage later.

I'm about to start ttc again and I think this time, I'm going to try and treat it as normally as I can manage. Have you been seen in a recurrent miscarriage clinic?

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