Anyone finding trying to keep the 1st trimester a secret from work or people hard going?

[MummyToASassy4yrOld]

Hi ladies,
Anyone else finding not being able to tell ppl or work that your pregnant? I found out early and told my manager last week. I didn't really want to tell her but when visiting the nurse she encouraged me to mention it to her.

This is my second pregnancy but I feel so different this time around. 'All day sickness' is the worse and the fact I'm constantly worrying for some reason. Thought I would of been more relax this time round.

Anyway I'm only 7wks +2days and it's absolutely dragging. I mean I have now told my manager which was fine and I'm on light duties no picking up etc.. I work in a nursery with 2 -3 yr olds so it's not one of those jobs that you can sit down all day. (wish it was)

Since becoming pregnant I've been telling my work colleagues that I have a bad back and had to go to the extend lying ( which I hate doing) that I've been the doctors and he has said that I need to take it easy. Not sure if I can keep up the lies for another 5 weeks. They are already questioning am I pregnant! It's awful..

Anyone else in the same situation? x

I'm not OP but if it makes you feel better I was admitted to hospital with pain etc at dead on 4 weeks and so couldn't go to work for about 3 days whilst they investigated etc..

Due to this both my work and DHs work and all our family found out at 4 weeks just like us!

If you feel like you want to tell them, then tell them. God forbid something happens you will need to tell your manager at least anyway and they can have a quiet word with your colleagues for you.

I hope this helps!

I had hyperemesis with all 3 so pretty much impossible to keep it quiet. So I just told people early.

Aww thanks for the posts..to be honest my work colleagues are just nosey! I've told the manager now and my two closest work friends so they are sort of helping with people that are doubting me. I feel the first trimester is the hardest one as you feel like crap, your constantly worrying nobody knows and your just praying for a safe and healthy scan. Surely 5 weeks will go fast! 🙏🏼 x

Yep I'm struggling - 7+2 today! Three people at work this week asked if I was ok, have said I feel like I'm coming down with something but I can't keep saying that for another month!!

I didn't bother to keep it secret. I didn't shout about it but if it was relevant to the conversation I didn't pretend not to be.

To be brutal, telling people won't stop anything going wrong, and if it does go wrong, at least people will understand if you're not little miss sunshine. Nothing worse than keeping a miscarriage secret IME. Hopefully it'll all go well for you.

Thank you everyone for your posts😊. I know what everyone is saying about telling people but I think it's way too soon. I think it's possibly because I didn't tell anyone with my first so reluctant to with this one. Plus I feel really anxious with this pregnancy. Not sure why.. Think it was a bit of a shock when I discovered I was pregnant I'm not sure why as I was trying. Plus I think it's always harder finding out early as 12 weeks is such a wait. 8 weeks seems like it's took forever.

How are you getting on @smu06set I'm 7weeks + 2days today too! xx☺️

Hi OP. I've been feeling fine but this is also my 2nd pregnancy and from 8w onwards I've looked very obviously pregnant. So at work I have had an "admit as asked" policy. It's a big place so a lot still don't know but those who've asked me outright I've been honest but asked them not to be too vocal.
I've got my 12 week scan in 8 days so can finally admit to everyone else. It'll be a surprise for family and friends etc who haven't seen me in a while :)

That's a good idea @WhyTheHeckMe . There is not 11 of us in my work and 3 of then no already which is my manager and my 2 closest friends. To be honest, I do not want to tell them as my thoughts are my family don't know and obviously if I can would prefer than knowing first than work. Easier said than done obvs. Hoping October goes fast and my symptoms subside a little. I know they say 'morning sickness' in pregnancy is a sign of a healthy pregnancy but doesn't feel it.
I bet your so excited to see your baby for the first time! Congratulations lovely! 😘 x

I've been lucky thus far with no morning sickness, but the tiredness and dizziness is something else!
I don't want to tell work until at least 12 weeks so will have to grin and bear it. There is a lot of turmoil at work at the moment so knowing they are losing me for a while too would tip them over the edge!

@smu06set I totally get that completely! I'm with you the tiredness is a killer! It's worse as I have a 4 year old who doesn't stop. So don't get much time to rest. How you finding sleeping of a night? I'm struggling and wake up at silly hours then can't get back to sleep! 😭 xx

Yep I have a 10 year old too!
Would love to wait til Christmas to announce to work as that's when the turmoil will have ceased, but realistically I'm going to struggle to get to 12 weeks if it keeps going like this!
I've been waking 3 times a night and I used to sleep straight through regardless, it's ridiculous!

The whole waking up thing is strange isn't it. I wish I could take a week off work sick. Just to have a break. Feel like that is hard to do now as I've told the manager so she would be like 'why you taking time off' also would still have my 4 year old with me so no rest there. Will just have to take a deep breath and get on with it. Hope all goes ok when you tell your work colleagues. xx

I'm 6+6 and totally feel you OP. I've been off work for two weeks with HG but feel like I need to go back or it will just look odd. Thankfully I do feel a bit better.

Ive told one colleague at work (she guessed, I confirmed, to be fair she did once used to be a midwife!). Ive got to fess up to my boss but it's quite a gossipy place so I'd rather ot not be common knowledge.

I've taken to wearing Spanx too, which is helping

@NerNerNerNerNerNerNerNerBATMAN I know exactly how you feel my place is all women so can you imagine!🙄

I can't actually believe how different this pregnancy feels. I can't remember feeling half as bad last time.
Can't stop worrying about the baby. Need to pull myself together and get a grip! Little things that are all probs normal are making me worried. Praying the little one is developing ok in there! 🙏🏼

Hey OP, I'm sorry you're struggling but it makes me feel so much better to know others are struggling too! I'm 10 weeks and because it's my second I'm the size I was when 5 months gone with dd. I'm slight as well so nowhere to hide it. Work is OK as I work from home a lot but I'm currently trying to avoid family, neighbours and acquaintences so I don't have to lie to their faces. The worst thing is that we're going on a long weekend away with all DH's extended family next weekend. Absolutely no idea what to do other than take a leaf out of Cheryl Cole's book and totally ignore the whole thing

@ApplesTheHare I know we are all in it together! What about baggy clothes like loose tops that cover your bump?
It's hard going I feel for us all!
I desperately need reassurance at the moment. Need to stop asking googling everything. Got really tight pains in right side of lower stomach best described where you knicker line is. Everything I have googled suggest it's ok but then noticed today when wiping a brown tinge of discharge. Can't stop worrying. 🙈 . Why does 12 weeks take so long!! 😭

@MummyToASassy4yrOld I know exactly what you mean. 12 weeks feels like 12 months. I think the pain you describe is fairly normal, the body stretching or I guess restretching! The mw I saw last week said that you tend to notice all the symptoms earlier second time around and your body changes must faster because your muscles are a lot looser overall. Lovely!

I'm going with baggy tops atm but only have small boobs and a small frame (I usually wear clothes for 12-year-olds) so look very strange already

@ApplesTheHare It's hard one!! Someone suggested spandex but it's how comfortable they would be. The only thing you could do is say your feeling bloated 🙈 I feel your pain.

Thank you for the reassurance not seeing the midwife till next Tuesday but wasn't sure whether to book an appointment at the doctors as worrying slightly about the brown discharge. Be only seen it twice which was a tiny bit yesterday and bit more when I wiped tonight. It's prob nothing to worry about but can't stop thinking about ectopic pregnancies and it's scaring me! 😣

I really struggled but I was incredibly sick with Hyperemesis and at uni so missing some lectures etc. A lot of people knew by 8 weeks because it was so bad. Currently 33 weeks and now they're surprised I'm still quite far from the end zone.

I am 8+3 and haven't told work. Luckily, I'm able to manage my almost constant low level nausea mostly with things I ate and drank before I was pregnant (rice cakes, tangerines, salt & vinegar crisps & red bush tea). Luckily, no-one has clocked that I've stopped drinking coffee (gone off it completely).

Also, while my boobs have grown to the point that I'm bursting out of my bras (going shopping for maternity bras tonight), I'm a Bravissimo girl anyway, so as my DP said no-one will notice .

I found out I was 6 weeks yesterday, it's not really related to work but it's just not sinking in. (my first) I am in pain all the time, if it's not my back, then it's my pelvis or boobs. Is that normal? I'm feeling sick all the time, but that's my usual anxiety nausea it's always been like that. Can't sleep at all.

I told my boss at 9 weeks when I started feeling very unwell and had to visit the hospital but didn't announce to the rest of the office it until I was 12 weeks

Im hoping to keep the next one as quiet for as long as I can

I think most work colleagues are nosey (I am lol) - I just don't think they realize (or they forget) how difficult and sensitive the first trimester is. Some of my work mates told me they knew when I told them. I don't mind - as long as people didn't ask me before I was ready to tell.

I'm pretty sure my mum has guessed, as I was away with her for a week not drinking, which is not like me at all! Would have felt weird telling her before in laws though, and I really don't want to tell them yet. (One friend did ask me outright, so I did tell her, and another friend is the receptionist at my GPs so she knew really early on - was brilliant about it though, and said I was to tell her properly when I was ready and until then she only knew 'professionally' - she didn't say congratulations or anything, which I was so pleased about, as I was a bit freaked out about her knowing before my mum did.)
I'm finding this pregnancy so hard - being tired all the time is such a killer when you've got a job and a toddler. And my work keep trying to schedule stuff for when I'm due and I have to make vague answers - luckily they haven't asked me to commit to anything yet, but it won't be long.