Starting to freak out about childbirth pain

[thingymaboob]

Last night I had an awful nightmare about childbirth pain. I'm really worried I won't be able to cope with it. Has anyone had an epidural and a vaginal birth? Would you recommend? I'm terrible at managing pain normally!

When I was pregnant with DS1 my best friend used to wind me up because I have the lowest pain threshold known to humankind. I've had 3 babies now, 2 with gas and air and 1 with nothing (no time).
The best advice I was given about the contractions was that once one peaks and begins to fade, consciously think to yourself "I've done that one, I don't need to do that one again, I'm a step closer."
Have you asked your midwife about pain relief?

Would it help to understand that you go into a zone in labour and you just let your body get on with it?

I gave birth to twins two weeks ago and I had an epidural and after an hour of pushing unfortunately ended up having an emergency Caesarean. Whilst I was pushing I didn't feel a thing. I could tell that i was having contractions but there was no pain, and I certainly couldn't feel the sensation of pushing - basically it felt like nothing was happening.

I will say that this was my first pregnancy and anything I was worried about was nowhere near as bad as I'd feared. Contractions hurt, but the epidural took everything away.

I've had three, well actually one VB with E and two others with hardly any pain relief. I was a total baby about pain and things but I found childbirth a different experience. It likely has a positive outcome, for instance. Try some mental prep like that hypnobirthing book, and be prepared to be flexible. Plus, take the meds offered! You'll be grand

I'd love to walk in and get an epidural immediately but I always change my mind knowing that it will likely end in intervention or cs. Also they won't give you one till 3cm and with my labours the majority of the work has been done to get to 3cm and I progress rapidly after that. It's a tough one because I'd love if epidurals were just pain relief (had one on my first and still suffering from the damage of foreceps that happened as I couldn't feel anything to push effectively).

Gosh OP childbirth is such a personal thing to every woman. For me getting the epidural helped the pain and allowed me to relax and prepare for the pushing ( which was intense but short lived). Your body is designed to deliver a baby, you can do it HTH x

I spent my entire pregnancy terrified of labour and the pain. I listened to Maggie Howell's natal hypnotherapy mp3 and managed to have my DS with no pain relief. It didn't stop it hurting but really allowed me to remain calm and cope. So much so that I was 10cms when I arrived at hospital.

Like a pp said, after each contraction I told myself "you will never have that contraction again, you are nearly there" Might sound a bit woo but really helped. Also getting into a good position. I gave birth standing up, leaning over the end of the bed, and spent most of the labour on all fours.

@thingymaboob I think everyone's experience is different so you might find that you cope really well with the pain. But. The option of pain relief IS there (once you ask for it in time!). I got to 7cm but could not cope, tried gas and air and was really sick. Took option of epidural then and couldn't believe the difference :) it's impossible to know how things will go for you. But you will be fine!!!!!!!!! And with a beautiful baby as the end result xx

I've had 2 and second was with gas & air only and the easiest and less traumatic!

I had an epidural with dd1 which led to lots of errors and needing medical intervention for her birth.

I also did hypnobirthing for dd2 which I believe helped a lot.

Good luck

I felt nothing at all once I had the epidural. Gas and air is amazing too (a bit like being drunk). They don't give you either of those until you've dilated a certain amount. One very useful tip I was given was during contractions count the ceiling tiles (or light fitting). It just makes a huge difference if you're concentrating on something else other than the pain. I use it at the dentist too now. And you do go into the zone too later on.

Only my experience but you get through it. It's not like other pain because you just want to get that baby out and it's so exciting/ terrifying/ all-consuming/ life changing.

If you want pain relief, have it. Go in totally open minded. I didn't have any as it all happened too quickly (well, full dilation and pushing contractions happened quickly but it took 3 hours from there to get the bugger out). My dsis has had 3 vaginally births with epidurals and no complications whatsoever. Good luck!

It is what it is and you get through. It's completely normal to be scared but you are far tougher than you think x

In my experience by the time it all gets too much it's almost over. The crowning is the worst!

I'm the same as a previous poster: very low pain threshold and firmly believed that if you wouldn't have a natural migraine / back ache / appendicectomy then why have a natural birth?

At my booking in appointment with DS1 I informed the midwife that I'd definitely be having an epidural the second I went into labour. I'm also a HCP so she was very , here we go, major drama llama (she had a point, to be fair).

Anyway. I've had 3 babies now. First in hospital with G&A, the other two at home with a whiff of G&A. It was fine. I was very surprised to say the least. Antenatal yoga helped me A LOT as it really taught me to breathe and relax (quite an alien concept for me).

Best of luck. I hope it all goes well for you

Try not to get too caught up in the thought of 'pain'. Yes there is pain but it's not just pain in the way you think really, its pressure and just an intense experience. You have no idea how your labour will be and how you'll cope until it happens - the main thing is don't listen to horror stories and don't spend months telling yourself you can't do it / won't cope. You WILL cope, whether that's with nothing, gas and air, or an epidural. It's really really worth going to some birthing classes that focus on learning breathing techniques (it does help) and positive thinking etc. Look up Lazy Daisy and Mummynatal classes. Your mind plays a massive part in getting through it. I've had 2 water births with gas and air, I couldn't have had an epidural with either because I dilated fast so it was too early and then next time they checked me it was too late, so although the epidural is there try not to get in your head that you are definitely having one. You just never know. I definitely recommend hiring a Tens machine, that helped me massively in both my labours. If I were to have a third I think I would try hypnobirthing as I've heard great things about it. For me I did want to try avoid an epidural, not because I wanted to be a hero but just for my own reasons like not wanting to be stuck on a bed and immobile, and the increased risk of further intervention like forceps. But it totally depends how your labour goes and how you feel, the option is there and lots of women have very positive labours with an epidural. You will be ok and the gift at the end is 100% worth it!

I've had 4 without pain relief. 2 without gas and air. Was petrified before the first one. It was honestly fine. Hurt a lot and I uttered the immortal words I can't do this I'm going to go home. But it's a moment in your life. If it's really bad and you can't cope you'll be given drugs or rushed off for a section. See how you get on. Get a tens machine, it doesn't get rid of the pain but giving yourself an electric shock helps you forget what is going on in your Vagina.

That said my friend had an epidural for her second and said it was very relaxing!

I'm exactly the same, absolutely terrified- even the thought of having an epidural scares me and I had a horrible dream about having one which was awful (sitting there waiting for them to sight the area) my labour is imminent and I'm absolutely terrified!

I'd recommend reading a book by Ina May Gaskin. Can't remember the title but it was all about natural births etc. I read this before my 3rd birth and I had DC3 at home, no pain relief except a bit of gas and air (but not during actual birth bit). It changes how you look at contractions, the natural reaction is to fear them, tense up , but you have to relax through them , let your body do what it needs to do. My first 2 births were in hospital, long, epidurals, I was really tense - but 3rd birth at home was bliss. I felt so much more in control, most of the time I was sat straddled over a chair watching TVs, drinking tea and eating biscuits. I didn't find the contractions painful more like heavy dragging period pain cramps.

The ina may gaskin book is Spiritual Midwifery. I have some problems with it but it is absolutely true that fighting against the process makes it worse.

I'm unspiritual so I relate it (sorry TMI) to doing a big poo when you have piles. It's going to hurt, that's a given, but if you clench against the pain you will experience every agonisingly slow millimetre as painful. If you consciously relax all your muscles and breathe out, it will still hurt but usually a lot less, and it will be faster.

I found it really fucking painful and exhausting and with my second honestly wanted to die . Epidurals were amazing for me though and my second was a lovely straightforward, pain free birth once I finally got one. About to have my third and I will be going to the hospital asap and asking for an epidural straight away, whereas with the others I waited til near the end after trying to "cope" with everything else.

How far along are you? I trained to be a hypnobirth practitioner when I was about 8 months and bought 'what the hell'. I'm a therapist (hence training) and in no way a hippy dippy anti pain relief earth mother. I made sure I knew what pain relief I could have at which stage.

I ended up not having any and not even trying the gas and air which I wanted to try as I was curious to see if it was like laughing gas. But it was waaay across the room and I would have had to get up and I couldn't be bothered.

It worked for me and for he clients I ended up training.

The anticipation is worse than the actual labour I think. I've done it 5 times now & even though I have a crap pain threshold Karate is right you go in to a different zone. I've used pethidine in 3 of my labours to help as the idea of an epi isn't for me (i funny about my spine being touched). If you think it's an option for you then the mere knowledge that you can get one might help iyswim?

Yep I had epidural with vaginal birth. Like you have a low pain threshold but contractions are not normal pain, they build build and then go I got to 6cm then went in to hospital, I thought they'd say I was 2/3 was shocked! 2nd ds I didn't know I was in labour went in for routine check at 37+ 4 and was told I was 6. That epidural felt silly and I struggled taking it as I hadn't felt any pain at all. But pushing wise you feel like you're (tmi here ) doing the biggest poo I kept worrying, I literally pushed 20 minutes for 1st and 5 for 2nd epidural meant zero pain

My birth plan is pretty much - give me the drugs. Obviously I will see how I go and if I'm getting my on G&A, then great, I'll stick with that. But there's no medals for who goes through the most pain. So I'm very much leaning towards an epidural if I feel I need it at the time. I feel comforted knowing that I have that as an option (as long as I don't get a stroppy midwife arguing with me...)

Someone said the pain feels different to say, a migraine. It's productive pain, like the burn you feel running up a hill (not the sensation but how you feel about it). You push yourself through it because you know you'll achieve something amazing at the end of it.