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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Think I might be pregnant big mixed feelings

64 replies

RedBlackberries · 21/08/2017 10:06

...and too scared to do a test.

I'm about a week late, really sore boobs and I had unprotected sex mid cycle.

I don't know how I feel about it. Sad. We definetly weren't planning another child and I've just got to the point where my dd is starting school and I can relax a bit.

On the other hand If I'm pregnant I'd be happy but worried and think it's just meant to be. Sorry it sounds a bit rambly but just need to get it off my chest. I can't tell anyone in RL until I know for sure and dh is just like Shock every time I mention the possibility.

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Original poster
RedBlackberries · 22/08/2017 16:28

He was up and down about it. Like me.

He never wanted more after dd but he said he's happy if I want to keep it. It's still very new and we're both trying to work out how we feel.

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Original poster
RedBlackberries · 22/08/2017 21:21

I've had an evening alone to think about it and I'm still mixed up. Dd is acting up so much that I worry for her when she'll have me not able to always give her the attention she needs but at the same time that's kind of why I feel like she'd benefit from having a sibling.

I had a bath and what I thought was period bloating is very much there. And my boobs! They're so sore. This is all getting very real.

Dh called from work and sounded a bit less shell shocked!

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pigeondujour · 23/08/2017 07:33

OP, bear in mind that what people in general, and he in particular, say they will do doesn't mean shit.

Original poster
RedBlackberries · 23/08/2017 08:04

I know. Words are cheap!
I'm better supported all round this time though so if he doesn't become a baby wearing, night wakes sharing, proud new dad then at least I have lots of supportive friends and family around me.

I'm so tired, so so tired. I had to drag my arse out of bed for dd this morning and I could just disappear back to sleep now!

I'm scared to tell my family because they'll be worried about it all Sad. I'm not telling anyone till about 12 weeks. I'm 90% sure I want to go through with the pregnancy.

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TiramisuQueenoftheFaeries · 23/08/2017 08:23

Oh red.

Can you do this on your own, with two, if he doesn't change? Because he probably won't. And the stress of a baby he "didn't want" will probably have him turning to his habits.

What if he starts again? Not smoking, we both know he never stopped that. If you are going to do this, please be very honest with your midwife, and keep the resources she gives you.

Original poster
RedBlackberries · 23/08/2017 08:40

Every thought of good and bad things has been going through my head since I found out. I know the stress of pregnancy can push people to their limit. I think now we've both slept on the news we're both much happier and more accepting of what's happerned. And I've got so much good support around me now.

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pigeondujour · 23/08/2017 08:44

Why would you want to give another child such a shit dad, though? I don't mean that to pressure you, I just think you're trapping yourself further into a situation you know deep down, but can't really admit to yourself, you and your wee one shouldn't be in.

If there wasn't a part of you that wants help with this situation, you'd name change properly each time.

TiramisuQueenoftheFaeries · 23/08/2017 08:54

I'll be honest, it's painful watching you delude yourself that because he isn't kicking off right now he'll step up and be a good dad.

He's never been a good dad, red. He's never been a good husband. It's notable how often you've got blackout drunk since you let him back into your life. Does that sound to you like you being happy?

It's your life and you're the one who has to live it. But I would think really carefully about what's best for everyone, and whether it's best for you right now to be vulnerable and tied to this man again. History tells us that he loves your vulnerability, not because he wants to cherish and protect it, but because he can abuse and manipulate it.

Original poster
RedBlackberries · 23/08/2017 09:07

None of this was planned and I don't just mean the pregnancy.

I can do it. I was always umming and ahhing about having another but the sensible part of me said it's not a good idea. Now it's happened I'm feeling more confident and happy about it by the hour.

I'm also happy not to drink again. Like you said I'd had a few times resently where I'd got stupidly drunk and I'm glad to not be able to drink now.

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TiramisuQueenoftheFaeries · 23/08/2017 09:19

I'm going to stop; it's obvious that this is only pushing you deeper into denial.

MN will help you when you need it again.

EllieQ · 23/08/2017 09:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EllieQ · 23/08/2017 10:02

I've reported my post as I've been really harsh, and I agree with a PP that there's no point engaging with you Red, you'll just retreat again.

Original poster
RedBlackberries · 23/08/2017 10:21

I know it's coming from a good place. And whoever said why do you keep on posting if your so happy has probably got a point but just not one I'm brace enough to face yet. Thank you x

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pigeondujour · 23/08/2017 10:45

Whichever way you choose, you've not got very long to get brave.

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