Boyfriend can't make 20 week scan

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Scan is in a week. He's self employed and has picked up a few days of work. It's 2 hours away, and the work will bring in £600. I'm fairly reluctant to turn down the money. I'm going to see if there's a chance we could move appointment but not holding out much hope. Would you go alone? I think I feel fine about it, just thinking how I might be if there's something wrong. I'd prob need time to process anyway...

Can a family member come with you? My Mum travelled 200 miles to come with me to mine when my DH was in a similar boat and I explained what the scan was for to her.

I'd have been fine going to the anomaly scans alone with ds2 and ds3 but with ds1 I would definitely have asked someone to come if dh couldn't make it.

I went with my sister to a scan when her DH couldn't make the appointment, and they weren't able to change it. It was a lovely experience

I went to my 20wk scan alone, as DH was really busy at work. It was fine, there were quite a few ladies by themselves

It's my second son though, he was with my for all scans for my first.

My DH couldn't come to mine because of work too, so my mum came. It was actually lovely and helped really bring her into the pregnancy even though she was excited already. Do you have any close family or friends who could come instead?

Fine as long as you would be OK alone or be able to contact a local close friend or family member in the (very unlikely) event of something being wrong with the baby.

I had to go to my scan alone. I would've loved my DH to be there, but he couldn't get the time off of work.

Is there someone else who could go with you?

Most of the other women were in their own, or with a toddler or two, and that made me feel better.

Keep thinking of what the £600 could help with, and remember to ask for a foot massage, take away, breakfast in bed - whatever you fancy, for when your boyfriend comes home.

Remember to take money with you for your photos.

Yeah it's a lot of money to lose, I wouldn't turn it down. I would take someone else with you if you don't want to go alone and then book a private scan if that's an option so he won't miss out on seeing a scan.

I would go alone if you can't change it. £600 is too much to lose.

Ring your scanning department, I cant see why they wouldnt change the date for you?

I wen to all scans bar the very first 12 week scan on my own.... Go on! You can do it!

Hi OP ,
I'd say that you need someone with you for your anomaly scan. Lots of important measurements and checks happen there and it can be very stressful.

Is there a family member or friend that can accompany you?

I'd prob ask a friend or family member to come instead if that's an option for you?

Yeah, I would take someone. They actually check for a lot of very serious stuff at the 20-week scan (much more than at the 12-week). Can your mum/sister/friend go with you instead?

Go with family or friend then book a private scan :)

I went to scans alone , you are only in there a few minutes . I was annoyed beforehand but once it was done I didn't care . Hope your scan goes well

I went to my scans alone because OH is self-employed too.

I personally wasn't fazed by this whatsoever, we just booked in private scans that he could make shortly after each 😊

Take someone with you if you need to and book in private scans that you can both go to together.

I went to my scan alone too - DH prioritised work and refused to take an hour off (public sector, flexi time, family friendly policies, reasonable workload, sympathetic manager - no excuse). It still upsets me. Baby and I were fine.

My advice would be to take someone with you as they check so much important stuff. I was so happy seeing baby that I almost didn't hear them telling me my placenta was in the wrong place and would need monitoring.

Thanks all. How much are private scans? I think he's more bothered about not being there for me and being a 'crap partner' (his words not mine) than actually seeing the scan. Knowing him he'll prob say let's save the money instead of having a private scan.

I paid £60 for a private scan at 15 weeks and then £55 (on offer) for a bonding scan at 28 weeks. The prices will vary depending on who you choose. It depends on how desperate he is to see the baby I suppose, he might be happy to just see the picture.

You can 100% change your scan date by the way, for example if you were sick on the day they would have to give you a new appointment so I would just ring them and say its not convenient and ask for a new date. If not just take a friend or family member.

£600 can buy an awful lot of baby essentials. Take someone you trust with you if you can't change the appointment. Congratulations